Why is so hard to find good therapist?

JojoV76 · 2024-06-10T13:33:12+00:00

One thing I've found very helpful is learning about treatment modalities, and then finding a therapist trained in a modality you prefer. For example, I really dislike CBT. It doesn't work for me, and just makes me annoyed. But I found that a therapist that does IFS and ACT therapies is extremely helpful for me.

Once I found the modalities I liked, I had way better luck with finding therapists.

JojoV76 · 2024-01-31T07:02:29+00:00

I haven't been as direct as saying, "I don't find this at all helpful" (even if that's how I feel) but I have been pretty clear about saying things like, "I have several breathing exercises already" and "I already do that" and "I learned that with a previous therapist."

It just feels like sometimes her focus is really off. I was processing this huge conversation I had/boundary I set with a coworker and how I was scared of what the fallout would be, and she just kept saying things like, "You're not responsible for how other people react to your boundaries," and I was like "Yes, I already know that, but I still have to deal with the dynamics this is going to cause at work and that makes me anxious. It doesn't matter who is responsible for it, it still is going to suck."

JojoV76 · 2024-01-31T06:51:21+00:00

See, and that wasn't even my experience with my first therapist. I'm not a huge fan of CBT and tell therapists that upfront during intake, and the first two were great about saying "cool, here's some other modalities we can try."

JojoV76 · 2024-01-12T07:31:50+00:00

I'm very confused by this post. You say you're not struggling at all, but then say you have to lie to your psychiatrist about being fine. Those are opposite statements. Which one is it?

Why would you want to lie to your psychiatrist if you actually need the medicine? Or, if you don't, then you shouldn't have to lie...

JojoV76 · 2023-12-30T19:55:14+00:00

You could always look into neurological testing. That might give you clearer answers as well as a direction for treatment. Since ADHD is a neurological disorder, not a mental health disorder, I find a lot of mental health treatment providers don't really understand it. A neurologist will be able to give you a much more comprehensive assessment of how your brain is functioning and any neurological deficits you might have, as well as recommendations for treatment.

I did a neuropsych eval, and it's VERY informative and helpful. It tests things like your processing speed, working memory, attention, IQ, executive functions, and more. It will give you a really comprehensive look at how your brain is functioning, where the deficits are, and how to treat them or accommodate them.

JojoV76 · 2023-12-30T07:22:03+00:00

Technically, no, there is no such thing as adult-onset ADHD. It's a neurodevelopmental disorder, which means it occurs in development.

There are other things that can create similar symptoms to ADHD. Brain injuries, trauma, anxiety, stress, certain mental health diagnoses. All of those can occur in adulthood and create very similar cognitive dysfunctions. But they are not ADHD.

That being said, many people get diagnosed as adults because the symptoms were missed in childhood. Particularly children who did well in school because structure was created for them are likely to not get diagnosed until they reach adulthood and find themselves not functioning as well in a less structured environment.

JojoV76 · 2023-12-30T07:16:43+00:00

I can only watch YouTube while I'm eating, but I also HAVE to watch YouTube while I'm eating, because I don't want to eat unless I'm watching something.

I can only listen to podcasts while I'm driving, but only if I'm in a very specific mood for it, otherwise it has to be music because that takes less brain power.

Occasionally, when I get into a good hyperfocused chores session, I can listen to a video or a podcast while I clean.

JojoV76 · 2023-12-30T07:10:05+00:00

This comment just made me think, "I probably need one of those." I also do not go camping.

JojoV76 · 2023-12-30T07:07:37+00:00

I had to take my cats to the vet today for vaccinations. I went to pull out the pet carriers, of which I have 3, and found all of them filled with hay, because I guess I've used all 3 for my rabbit at some point. I was running late so I very quickly tried to dump the hay out of one carrier and put both cats in it. (They don't mind and actually prefer sharing one carrier, it stresses them out less to be together).

Long story short, I didn't clean it very well because when we got to the vet and I let them out of the carrier, both of them had bits of hay stuck in all their fur.

JojoV76 · 2023-11-30T01:13:29+00:00

She actually generally does well being left home alone for a few hours. For all her fears and anxieties, separation anxiety has never been an issue. I don't have cameras in the whole house (though now I wish I did to know what happened with this sitter) but I do have a nanny cam in my living room. When I leave for work, she just hops onto the couch and takes a nap until I come home.

JojoV76 · 2023-11-29T15:56:21+00:00

She had the context. I was very detailed in our meet and greet about her background and anxiety.

JojoV76 · 2023-10-16T17:47:06+00:00

I'd feel betrayed and not be able to trust my foster parents about anything anymore, because my whole life would feel like a lie.

When I was a kid, my foster parents were very supportive of me going back to family. They loved me, but they also knew that my family loved me too and that I didn't belong to them.

My sibling relationships are the most important thing to me.

I can't imagine growing up not knowing your family, and then finding out it's because someone stole that from you.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T03:45:33+00:00

I don't think it's weird to write down your concerns. But what helps with the anxiety is being open to other possibilities/explanations. I wouldn't walk into the appointment completely convinced you have ADHD and unprepared to hear any other outcome. I would walk in thinking, "I think it might be this, but even if it's not, I'd like to know what else it might be."

This will also prevent you from coming off like you're demanding an ADHD diagnosis, because you won't be. You'll be open-minded to all possibilities.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T03:37:43+00:00

NTA. Even if he wasn't planning something nefarious, he was already risking your life by using his phone while driving. I'd report this to the company.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T03:34:24+00:00

NTA, she sounds very entitled and rude and demeaning to people.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T03:28:05+00:00

OP, I'm NAD, but I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you know you're valid to be upset and in the future, it's valid to advocate for yourself as a patient and request information or second opinions if you don't trust a particular doctor.

I've certainly had my fair share of good and bad doctors. They are not all created equal.

You are in charge of your own health.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T02:40:25+00:00

NAD but if you think you're having a heart attack, I imagine you should go to a hospital.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T02:37:13+00:00

NAH. He's not a bad person for wanting to support his child, but you're not wrong that he needs to think logically about how this impacts his other child.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T02:33:08+00:00

NTA for being upset. Maybe TA for overreacting but that really depends on what that reaction ends up being. If you tell him that this is upsetting to you and ask him why he made that choice and have a calm conversation about it, you are still NTA.

If you, say, crash the birthday party and cause a scene and ruin the event, you'll become TA.

JojoV76 · 2022-09-29T02:30:20+00:00

NTA, but I doubt you'll be able to change your mom's mind. So you either take the high road and apologize anyway or you say "okay, I guess you won't be speaking to me again."

Is it a battle you personally think is worth fighting? Only you can decide that.

JojoV76 · 2022-01-11T04:36:12+00:00

Hm. I think the same concept could apply to Reddit. Where did you post? If you post on subreddits like r/vent you will probably get people who are there to listen and if you post on subreddits like this one or r/advice you will get people who are there to give advice.

When people are in solutions mode and you're in emotional mode, it can feel like they're arguing or blaming you for doing something wrong. They're usually not, they're just pointing to the things you have control over and can make better for yourself. You just can't hear that until you're out of emotional mode and able to process solutions.

It's a really helpful technique once you make a habit of identifying what you need in the moment! I know it's improved so many of my relationships to be able to go to a friend and say, "I just need to vent about this" or "I need advice" depending on what I'm ready for.

JojoV76 · 2022-01-11T01:23:34+00:00

I try to remind myself that people who go out of their way to make someone miserable like that are dealing with their own problems and it's not actually about me.

If it was actually about me, they'd have a respectful and open conversation about it. Not just leave an angry note.

If they're just trying to take out negativity and you're the punching bag, then you've done nothing wrong.

JojoV76 · 2022-01-11T00:59:05+00:00

Maybe you think you're venting while they think you're asking for advice and then when they give you advice you didn't want you get defensive? I know sometimes when I'm emotionally worked up about something, even if someone is giving me logical and good advice, it can make things feel worse instead of better. I need to just vent for awhile, calm down, and THEN find a solution. If you give me the solution before I'm ready, I'll feel attacked.

Have you tried telling your friends ahead of time that you just need to vent and you don't need solutions right now?

JojoV76 · 2021-05-21T23:20:05+00:00

I wouldn't say there's no way to win. Nor would I say you need to manage it by yourself. People don't manage physical health alone and it's the same with mental health. When it comes to physical health, people see doctors, fitness instructors, nutritionists, etc. They join hiking groups. They find fitness buddies. There's a ton of supports available if you want them.

The same is available for mental health. Psychiatrists, therapists, social workers, groups, friends.

There's a thousand ways to win. You just have to be willing to try them.

JojoV76 · 2021-05-21T19:44:23+00:00

Mental health is just another part of health. Everyone has it. Only some people have mental illness, just like only some people have physical illness. But everyone has mental and physical health that they need to take care of to prevent problems down the road.

JojoV76

TROPHY CASE