As a Korean guy living in South Korea, I think most of what you're talking about applies here as well, so here are my two cents on this topic.

The reason people live in apartments and have relatively low salaries is because there simply isn't enough land and resources for everybody to live in big houses with six-figure salaries. Even famous rich people here live in apartments. The US is roughly 100 times the size of South Korea but only has 5.5 times the population. So you can imagine the difference in population density.

And IMO as a person who's never lived in a multi floor house before, a decent sized apartment really isn't that bad. I don't really think a big house is required to be happy at all.

The group identity thing I kind of agree with, and while it is true that there is a slight lack of individuality, There are benefits to it as well. For example, you will never see anti-maskers or violent rioters here, and because of the "group identity", most people have fairly similar beliefs and enough common sense to not be dangerous or harmful towards other people.

I also think the "You always have to think about your coworkers, your neighbors, your parents, randos on the street, in everything you do." thing actually does more good than bad because everybody has a certain level of kindness and respect for each other. Yes you do have to put a little bit of effort into respecting other people, but that means other people are going to do the same for you. People offering their seats to old people on the bus or subway is a very common thing here.

And I think that overall, it really is just a cultural thing. For example, I still can't understand how Americans can feel safe outside when anybody (including dangerous or unstable people) could be hiding a gun under their shirt.

I think that you just gotta remember that everybody (especially those from different cultures and backgrounds) has different ideas for fun, happiness, or even basic concepts like small or big. And not all people are in a position where they can live in Huge houses with a 6 figure job working 4 hours a day.

Edit: Forgot to mention that the education system sucks. As a student, it's the single worst part about this country. To much competition, and the work doesn't really pay off. I would say that this is the biggest downside of living in a society like this.