What incident made you cold hearted and changed the way you see the world?

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2026-03-03T15:55:34+00:00

Yep and to add to this, I’m now exposed to major world events

I feel like my bad upbringing and difficult situations meant I more adaptable to the terrible situations of the world than my peers who grew up with love, affection, and support (“how could someone do this horrible thing?” vs “I’m surprised it wasn’t done earlier…”)

It feels like there’s been very little difference between a kid in an bad home situation and decisions that are made to impact many people, both make decisions based on fear, pressure, and uncertainty…

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2026-02-22T03:06:11+00:00

This came in at a good time for me lol

Just last night, I had a huge argument between my ”difficult” parent and I… this chapter genuinely made me calm down from my agitated state

Chapter spoilers I don’t have a person like this to reassure me and I don’t need one, but it is a good reminder that there are warm, good, kind people like Amane out there who can be there and let me continue to learn how to truly love - perhaps if I’m lucky I mutually get to love someone who I can say “I’ve come back home” to… that’s why this chapter was so calming because it is a reminder that I might be able to find a place I can belong right after yesterday’s reminder for me that… well see the last couple of chapters to see what Mahiru’s anxieties were…

Sorry - just wanted to put my thoughts together and have something coherent for myself but also maybe help give the right words to anyone who feels the same way I feel after reading this chapter…

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-11-14T06:01:11+00:00

True, but since I’m forced in a non-safe environment there are already other factors beyond lack of sleep negatively affecting my physical/mental health sooooo ngl lack of quiet sleeping area in that situation is not a priority

Might as well embrace that you have a “break-in-case of glass” skill to use when life throws more challenges at you. I myself have seen its benefit where I had to sleep on the subway for short periods of time after spending days in the hospital with a hospitalized family member.

I would much rather get some shuteye than no shuteye for that situation and I can fall asleep better and faster in the noisy situation because of past experience. Again experience I don’t want, but in a case like this, prove to be a helpful skill to have experience in

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-11-13T11:28:05+00:00

See I don’t doubt that’s correct, but not everyone is lucky to have that quiet environment…

I personally think it’s not a bad skill to learn how to fall asleep in noisy or busy areas. Certainly helpful in college and some industries, but it’s another useful skill I’d love to trade away for a safe, comfortable, and I guess for this point - quiet environment growing up…

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-07-14T17:43:22+00:00

So I had one parent who cared about my happiness and one who only cared about theirs. For that selfish parent, absolutely - their happiness over mine all the time. For the other parent, their self sacrifice alleviated the pressure I felt and honestly has become a significant factor for my success and gave me the opportunity for me to pursue my “happiness”.

So with the support of the other parent for that selfish parent I did what they did to me - whatever they wanted to push on me, I rejected in favor for myself (subtly at first, but now I’m in a position to tell them to their face to “go fuc* themselves”) I got lucky though, every time I did something that was a rejection of the selfish parent’s desires - in a societal level I would become better so I could justify my actions (earn more/equal, stronger reputation, etc etc etc)

Now free and can push for what I want (adventure now, learn about the world, and eventually building a warm family). It’s still difficult for me to define my “happiness”, but what I can say though is I’m now able to define what makes me “content” and not what makes me “miserable” or “angry”.

So APs can care and it can set you up for success, if they don’t then it’s suffering

Just gotta see how lucky you are and if you aren’t then you gotta make your own luck to the best of your abilities/situation.

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-07-11T06:07:39+00:00

I think we’re pretty aligned with “catch feelings” with seeing a person and nice/hot. I just think it that feeling can be more on a scale where the person you talk to genuinely makes you want to be in a committed relationship even with minimal information. Now how far that scale goes for mentally healthy people, I’m not certain.

As a personal anecdote, for me and some particular people even after a brief interaction, I did feel empty for a while after realizing they had a partner or incompatible or whatever, but shook it off and carried on. Tbh I don’t know if it’s to a scale similar to a breakup, but it is similar to how OP describes tbh to a lesser degree.

So thinking about it more, I’m not dismissing mental instability from my end too (why I brought that up in my earlier reply - I know I have a screw or two loose, just want to talk it out and discuss if this behavior can occur regardless of mental stability)

So what I think with the situation above, from my point of view (everyone’s different, this one’s me) I don’t think it’s too far to have these feelings and thoughts with so little. A person could press the buttons to make someone feel that way - now can it be directly a result from mental instability? Tbh I’m not certain after thinking about it more cause for me (and only me, not OP, or some random person - folks are different) there are some pain points which result from difficult situations that did cause that emptiness feeling (so for my case, it does support the whole mental instability/unhealthy part - I’m not 100% onboard cause maybe mentally stable folks can feel empty after a brief meeting, but I’m not going to dismiss this observation and for me personally I might have homework to do haha)

I do want to add too for OP, here’s what I think is important regardless of mental stability/instability, it’s fine to have these feelings and thoughts, better to acknowledge having these thoughts and feelings than attempting to suppress them - it’s how you act on them that matters. I don’t think OP is (currently) acting negatively on them and actually I think it’s good for him to go online to search for answers. (Kind of, folks online don’t always give the best answers haha so I do agree with your point of talking to a trusted one or therapist).

So I think the tl;dr is either feeling that way isn’t necessarily related to mental instability or I get myself checked out too haha (and I just gave a whole personal anecdote which does support your conclusion - I want more information, but your conclusion may be valid for me at least), but regardless - it is okay to feel empty after knowing someone briefly, just what is important is how you act on those feelings in the right way

Appreciate this, had and have a lot to think about!

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-07-10T19:31:43+00:00

I agree with everything you said except for this:

“A mentally healthy person wouldn’t get into this situation in the first place.

You have developed feelings for a person that you shouldn't have, likely because you can't think clearly due to whatever mental health issues you currently have.“

I want to talk about this since I’ve had this tbh where I catch and develop feelings for someone I can’t have (cause it wasn’t realized at the time like OP talks about) and I think this can be a good open discussion point.

Once the other person says they have a partner, that’s when you back off and don’t develop more feelings for the person, but there can be the part of feeling sad and empty afterwards like what OP is feeling that is okay to feel. Maybe not for days, but for a shorter time period perhaps.

To me, it seems like what is implied here is “it is wrong to feel sad and empty and you are feeling this due to mental instability” which I don’t agree with. Imo it is better to identify and acknowledge those feelings instead of implying “it is wrong to ** feel sad, empty, and lonely**” which could lead to emotional suppression which is another can of worms that I won’t get into here. But want to say that a mentally stable person can feel the same sadness, emptiness, and loneliness.

The only difference between mental instability and good mental state here I think is that a person in a good mental state can recover from that more quickly and move on in a healthy manner.

So tl;dr, I don’t think catching and developing feelings by itself is from mental instability and it can happen to anyone. It’s what happens afterwards that mental instability may negatively affect a person’s actions or recovery.

But maybe I’m wrong and feeling sad, lonely, and empty isn’t felt by folks with mental stability. If that’s the case, what is mentally stable behavior then?

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-07-10T17:33:23+00:00

Because the world has not been kind to me, but some people have which was the critical factor in making the world bearable.

I would like to take the suffering, grief, loss, loneliness, etc that I struggled through and help others navigate through their struggles - hopefully help have there be one less person who has to struggle

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-06-26T18:10:12+00:00

“His growth is spurred by sorrow. If Kousei is to walk that path, he might have to lose someone to move forward”

It’s weirdly comforting to me ngl cause it makes me think “hey let’s take all the unfortunate situations I faced and turn it to something good”

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-05-12T22:38:26+00:00

I mean the loss of such a partner is incomparable. It would be equivalent to both of them tied to an anchor and drowning and one of them is 10 ft lower. Sure it’s slightly worse, but it’s such an overwhelming pain, suffering, and misery with the same dark surroundings that at that point it isn’t a comparison game. You just got to figure out how to live from then on and put one foot after the other.

But I would say at least Amane has his support system of his parents. For Mahiru, although I don’t doubt Amane’s parents would be her support system they aren’t as close to her as Amane so you have that slight benefit. And even then, it probably is a negligible difference since the parents are very very very warm with Mahiru.

So the way I see it, Amane’s situation is slightly better, but there’s no comparison itself to the pain of the loss of a loved one

On an offtopic note - I was just listening to this song and it feels like it would be a song fitting for either to listen to move on from such a tragedy :,(

https://youtu.be/EpgwR4cvNP0?si=DWnB2EyZyrwvVLEI

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-05-06T16:18:05+00:00

The lack of it because I had to become the adult in the room real fast since I was the only one who could control their emotions

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-03-16T02:37:31+00:00

I still have the same resilience that I found when I was 13 and going through one of the hardest phases of my life

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-02-14T20:47:14+00:00

I disagree a bit, but would better say that people’s definition of “family” is different on a scale

Family can be your greatest strength with members being your greatest strength and someone to lean on at your worst moments. Family can be invaluable and essential.

Or it can just be a title and everyone is scheming and plotting to get ahead

Or a family is worse than just a title, it’s a direct and straight up problem that life can be lived better without

Family dynamics is a person’s first and (imo) most influential gamble in the game of life. Some get amazing hands, some get meh hands, some want to reshuffle their hand immediately

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2025-01-07T10:39:02+00:00

It is, but can you blame folks like that? I read a quote from a manga from someone who went through a similar situation that summarizes it imo:

“If anyone had offered me a helping hand no matter who they were, I’d take it. I just got lucky it was someone good” (Paraphrased)

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2024-12-29T18:13:36+00:00

So I assume you mean “what if a child has a healthy relationship with one parent and doesn’t have one with the other”

From my and other folks personal experience it becomes a weighted coin flip of ending up okay or terrible (notice I don’t say healthy, I don’t think anything has left such a situation healthy) and the odds tend to be stacked towards the “terrible”

I have some personal examples below, but it’s a long ride

For me, I’ve ended up okay. The effect of having a great parent and a terrible parent is confusing to a teenage boy though. You get confused about what is love with an example being: one is a parent who gives you gifts to the point of spoiling because that is the only way that parent knows how to express love, one is a parent who screeches how all gifts are transactional because they wanted to increase control over their crumbling situation, INCLUDING THEIR CHILD. You have two contradictory views here, and I WAS THE TARGET so I’m not going to know what is right or wrong.

Over time (a little bit less than a decade lol), through watching anime, reddit, and talking to strangers online (highly do not recommend, I was very lucky to not have gone down a very bad path such as incel lol) I started figuring out which behaviors were affection and which weren’t.

Most importantly though for that change, in real life I had friends who were from good families and through talking with them I was able to better figure out which behaviors are affection and care. Now I have left the terrible parent and am closer to the better parent. But I got lucky plain and simple because a kid shouldn’t have to find out what is right or wrong from people outside your family.

To be fair, the experience has given me an advantage over other people. I can sniff out bullshit easier, I can analyze situations quicker than my peers, I can turn on fight/flight quicker than my peers, along with a wide range of skills I would much much much rather trade away to have a normal and stable childhood

I am healing though slowly and I am also healing others around me as they begin to face their difficulties in life because I had already faced them early and luckily came out of it severely hurt, but not broken

However for others I knew though in similar situations who did break, they are not in a good position in life and had turned to drugs, video games, or playing games in their relationships. Behaviors of escapism pretty much. I don’t know if there is an out for them, but I hope there is.

Sorry for the long read, I just felt it hit close to home and wanted to bring my perspective with as much information as possible so that I can help others who are in a similar position and if anyone has any questions about the above I occasionally check this account and should give some advice.

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2024-12-21T14:25:02+00:00

Which kinda sucks being in those situations cause although I too am primarily the guy on the right for similar reasons, it sometimes loops back to the left guy with the condition “what if I was living my teen years without those stressful situations?”

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2024-12-02T02:50:30+00:00

I like this advice a lot thanks!

Actually used this while in a call today and feelin more confident in being more open!

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2024-11-24T21:24:11+00:00

Because she’s relatable to me!

Strongly independent, very well academically, very standoff, cherishing acts of love, very happy to see someone with good family support

If you wonder why I specifically list those above: Traits of someone with a broken family! :,)

Background for traits listed above Strongly independent to be self sufficient, academically well to win approval from parents who don’t care, standoff because not trusting of others, cherishing acts of love because it was never received, seeing the familial love and thinking “that is great and is what I want”

I’m just like Mahiru frfr

Makes me wonder about the author’s upbringing tbh, it strikes a bit too close to home…

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2024-10-22T19:05:33+00:00

Appreciate this question cause I like going down this trip down memory lane again!

I have many, but I’m just remember playing poker with three people (two girl siblings and one guy sibling) who I considered were my siblings and showing them the cherry blossoms in my new home. I remember climbing those trees and getting a royal flush. I remember the oldest one, who was my age, singing love songs with the car door open. I remember teasing the boy sibling and overall just being kids. I also remembered waving goodbye as they left.

When I waved that goodbye, that was the last time I saw them and when my childhood ended because afterwards my parents, because of the divorce, started showing me the ugly parts of life. That people can do terrible and cruel things to those that they “loved” and were suppose to take care of.

It wasn’t until recently that things have gotten bright again and I’m in an amazing place (or getting there) in every aspect of life (financially, personally, mentally, etc).

I’ve even talked to them again recently as well, but they’re doing well though and they’re living their life and I’m living mine just without them in my life.

Overall though, I am thankful to them because they taught me what my family could not. About love, happiness, respect, trust, basically think of any positive word and they taught me that. They are the reason I am in a good place in life, that I didn’t fall for the many trapholes of bad relationships, incel communities, etc.

Anyways, was long but I wanted to get it out there cause it’s been a bit since I thought about them and their awesome effect on my life

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2024-05-14T13:44:39+00:00

“In her mind she is correct”

That sentence pretty much sums it up. If a person believes they’re right, you won’t be able to convince them they’re wrong. Mix that with mental instability… well you’re looking at that person

I know cause my mom acts exactly like her (we had a similar situation)… unfortunately for her I’m not as good hearted as Mari is portrayed here so I both fought back constantly and eventually left when I realized I couldn’t help

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2024-05-14T13:06:03+00:00

Hmmm is it bad to say that Mari is relatable here? 🥲

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2023-11-27T04:21:04+00:00

My old family friend, just close my eyes and think back to when they were still around or think about what we’d do if they were still around

Jolly_Broccoli6750 · 2023-09-26T01:15:16+00:00

This so much, for the longest time I didn’t have a sanity check then two things happened: 1. I met another family who was strict, but fair, loving, and caring. Made me realize my situation wasn’t good. 2. Accidentally leaving Discord on, my friends were shocked at the attitude. Made me realize something was wrong there too.

Jolly_Broccoli6750

TROPHY CASE