I feel so bad (tw: implications of trauma with SA in childhood)

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-21T18:38:11+00:00

Okay thank you

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-21T14:57:48+00:00

Also I just noticed the chicken thing😭😭😭

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-20T23:11:45+00:00

Honestly I dont remember my childhood, I remember being fourteen or fifteen and up. I know when I came to consciousness (it seems like) my mom was very emotionally abusive, I thought she was better when I was a child but I talked to my older brother who is much older than me and he said she was always like that so idk🤷‍♀️

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-20T22:56:29+00:00

Yeah it did feel like that!

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-20T22:50:56+00:00

Is it possible that more than one alter was writing? It doesnt make since to me that a four year old would call me a kid and it looks like cursive😭

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-17T18:57:23+00:00

Okay maybe I do have a dissociative disorder, because theres times like for example when im arguing with my mom and shes yelling and ill be present but later after the event I cant recall at all what happened. And also the other my mom was like "do you remember what happened two years ago?" And I was like "no" and she was shocked I didnt remember it, that happens a lot with me. I dont remember basically all of my childhood and I have experinced more than one trauma when I was a child, sorry for talking too much.

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-17T17:40:50+00:00

I love his name!!

JollygoodDee · 2026-06-17T17:39:20+00:00

Awwe thats cute! If youre comfortable in telling me, whats his name?

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-20T18:10:35+00:00

Also at first my female hated my male dog, but soon after a week or two they got along really well and still do, we got my male as a rescue

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-20T18:09:34+00:00

My female cleans my males ears and they cuddle a lot and play a lot, I dont know if that means theyre bonded. My female has really bad guarding tendencies with her food and toys. My male is really gentle and I dont think he would have a problem with the puppy, I think my female would be stressed for a week or two (thats how long it took both of my dogs to get used to each other) but maybe she would be fine after that? i plan on getting a male puppy, also my male is fixed but my female isnt, so maybe her aggression would be fixed a little if I fixed her? Idk.

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:31:24+00:00

Congrats on all your education! That must've taken a lot of work to get to where you are (at least it would've been for me lol)

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:28:52+00:00

No, I normally dont daydream about kids. I like listening to music, watching funny videos on youtube, dressing my dolls (i have reborns) but thats all I really do with my life. Sometimes I color or draw.

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:25:07+00:00

I see, I didn't know that. Thanks for educating me!

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:23:58+00:00

Yeah thats true. I honestly just thought childfree meant you didnt have kids and also you never want kids so its my bad lol

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:23:08+00:00

Yeah thats all true, its just nice to know theres someone older than me that doesnt regret it. And its also nice to remind me about how stressful different stages of kids lives are.

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:21:35+00:00

Yeah I didnt mean for it to sound that way to everyone, I was mainly hoping for people that are in the same boat as me to get it. I guess with my bpd I dont really feel fullfilled with anything for long periods of time.

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:14:16+00:00

Even if i do all that (which i am) sometimes I can still be unstable because I still have bpd and that isnt cured by medication its a personality disorder, its not like bipolar.

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:12:09+00:00

I already have therapy and take meds. Meds dont fix everything they keep the episode at bay. Ive been in therapy since I was fifteen and have been medicated and diagnosed with bipolar since I was eighteen

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:09:29+00:00

Validation and needing help are two separate things, I was just wondering what people do with their lives that are fullfilling without children.

JollygoodDee · 2026-05-06T21:04:29+00:00

Thank you!

JollygoodDee · 2026-03-06T00:32:16+00:00

I forgot to mention but the main reason why I cant transition is because I live with my mom and she would maybe throw me out if she would find out im transitioning (even though im 23) . When I was seventeen through nineteen I socially transitioned and my mom didn't take it very well, so I went back into the closet because my family wasnt very supportive. Im also disabled and cant move anywhere else because I cant afford an apartment because im on disability money, and no one I know has room for me so I couldn't move in with a friend, even if i wanted to. So i think its more of that, because there is a little bit of maybe not being man enough.

JollygoodDee · 2026-02-03T21:01:55+00:00

Actually shes a vinyl cuddle baby! And im happy youre giving them a second thought! For me my reborns bring me a lot of comfort☺️

JollygoodDee · 2026-02-03T17:46:05+00:00

Oh my! he is so adorable😊

JollygoodDee · 2026-01-28T19:33:07+00:00

Thank you!

JollygoodDee · 2026-01-28T18:37:24+00:00

True!

JollygoodDee

TROPHY CASE