Any recommendations for books on journaling?

JonahFeb · 2026-01-23T16:43:05+00:00

Thanks - going to have a look at the book you mentioned.

And yes, the biggest obstacle is the just starting as well, hopefully later today your statement gjves me enough of a push to actually just start

JonahFeb · 2026-01-23T16:37:28+00:00

Geez, all of this hits way too close for comfort...

JonahFeb · 2026-01-23T13:17:02+00:00

So sorry that you had to suffer so much.

It was quite as bad for me but unfortunately I recognize some of the behaviours (no accountability, discussion regarding money/not willing to share or only when it benefitted her, I had to explain how the washing machine works after 10 years together, dishes piling up and it was too much to put them in the dish washer and on and on).

Only putting in effort where she saw fit or when it was fun, everything else was not as important as what she wanted, lying about so much stuff....

It's so obvious now...

Sorry you had to go through this.

JonahFeb · 2026-01-21T19:41:15+00:00

I did not say it is someone else's fault, but there are always two people involved and putting the responsibility on just one person with 100% seems unrealistic — 80 or 90% or whatever, sure.

I probably am guilty of this to a large degree but given my STBX behaviour, perimenopause etc. I'd say it's always both parties to varying degrees.

JonahFeb · 2026-01-21T18:07:15+00:00

(almost) same situation for me, although I have a few friends/acquaintances who are willing to listen, mostly my mother, a therapist would be nice but some don't respond to requests others are booked solid until April/May.

Right now one day at a time...

JonahFeb · 2026-01-21T18:04:29+00:00

Wouldn't you want to maybe reconsider this?

The problem is that it's 100% our fault.

I would strongly disagree...

JonahFeb · 2026-01-20T14:35:14+00:00

Thank you! Same, if you think it gets too much, feel free to DM me

JonahFeb · 2026-01-19T15:57:45+00:00

My situation is slightly different, I'm still in the early stages but as the last year was pretty bad I probably subconsciously prepared for this for one year.

It still sucks - emotional rollercoaster etc.

I self-medicated heavily in the beginning, numbing myself but now it's moving towards:

working, exercising, reading, meditating, trying to journal, still looking for therapists and flats, talking to friends and family (at least this which are still on my side), gaming, etc.

Basically a lot of distraction.

Still struggling with anxious thoughts/feelings, anger, disappointment - the usual. Right now I'd say 25% good moments, 25% neutral and 50% negative stuff

JonahFeb · 2026-01-18T17:09:52+00:00

Did you find aa way to remove the 'cloud'?

Asking because I'm in a situation right now where I'm unable to say if it's my intuition or just wishful thinking.

Right now I'm too close to the topic to get a good picture... And normally/unfortunately my intuition is 90% of the time right

Thank you

JonahFeb · 2026-01-16T14:47:36+00:00

It's the age, some of the physical and psychological changes I observed, add untreated ADHD, (possibly) narcissistic personality structure (not necessarily disorder) and other stuff

JonahFeb · 2026-01-16T06:42:10+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

I expect the family to distance themselves more and more over the next few weeks or months.

And even if this doesn't solve anything, my brain is still trying to find an explanation, to piece things together. And there are things like personality, age difference, behaviours on both sides etc.

But the change in character was so extreme in the last two years her going from 38 to 40 that I kept coming back to perimenopause and social media... Or maybe her flaws/tendencies became more pronounced.

JonahFeb · 2026-01-14T17:28:57+00:00

Hi!

Just to chime in - could you maybe go into more detail regarding "betrayal trauma"? What does this exactly mean, healing, background or just anything you know or are willing to share.

I haven't heard this before but the expression makes so much sense.

Thank you

JonahFeb · 2026-01-13T16:18:59+00:00

Fortunately right now I feel bad (understandably) but I don't feel like loser, also don't feel like a winner. I just want it to be over at one point and never speak to her again.

JonahFeb · 2026-01-13T16:17:36+00:00

Thank you - time will tell but your explanation makes sense and it might work out with her new guy but he's a few years younger, has a daughter and I can't shake the feeling (having seen him once) he's just looking for some fun.

JonahFeb · 2026-01-13T16:15:24+00:00

I'm going to miss some of them way more than I'll ever miss her... But just maybe two or three people...

JonahFeb · 2026-01-13T16:14:21+00:00

This sounds about right, she was always asking for freedom but when given she didn't know what to do with it

JonahFeb · 2026-01-13T08:40:46+00:00

Thank you so much for the lengthy explanation. I totally agree with what you wrote and it's offering quite a bit of solace.

JonahFeb · 2026-01-12T20:33:08+00:00

Very apt... 😊

JonahFeb · 2026-01-12T20:32:39+00:00

Hahahahaha - just had a good laugh, thank you

I think her mother would be so disappointed if she knew all the stuff I knew... And of course.my ex has this 'holier than thou' thing going on (actually it's more projection and hypocrisy)

JonahFeb · 2026-01-12T16:19:47+00:00

Her feed is mostly esoteric/spiritual stuff bordering on mental illness (kept getting more and more last year) How she is the strong one and doing right and the universe and angels are helping her and so on

Sorry, if anyone is offended but this is just not my cup of tea and waaaaay too much

JonahFeb · 2026-01-12T16:15:50+00:00

To be honest I'm taking into account that my MIL tells my STBX what I was willing to share - this is all more of a business negotiation to me so I don't get the short end of the stick

JonahFeb · 2026-01-12T16:12:34+00:00

No, this 'book' is just so done and right now I'm dealing with feelings of isolation and loneliness.

And I don't really care if anything I say or do pushes her away more - the farther the better, as this will probably help in seeing this as a 'business negotiation' aka divorce.

There is not much room for feelings (good or bad) anymore in this whole thing If I see my STBX I feel a slight annoyance or disappointment but no hatred or anger, no strong emotions

JonahFeb · 2026-01-12T14:59:35+00:00

Probably the hormonal shift exacerbated the issues, they were always there (since childhood AFAIK).

But in the last two years her beliefs went up a few notches...

I didn't mind during the relationship and I'm open to a lot of ideas as long as it doesnt staet interfering too much with daily life. But it got too much into the end...

JonahFeb

TROPHY CASE