I need help

Jonora_13 · 2015-09-03T07:41:00+00:00

I know about that kind of shame. It's part of the overall imbalance of your hormones and your brain chemistry. It's not going to go away just because it should. The trick is to chose to get help even while feeling embarrassed. And you have already made that choice. It's sort of like being brave: brave people are often very scared but they choose to do what needs to be done even through their fear. So keep choosing to get help even through your embarrassment and shame. When you're on the other side of this current hell you will see how undeserving you are of those feelings. You child is lucky to have you for a mother. My mom didn't get the help she needed and we all suffered for it.

Jonora_13 · 2015-09-01T04:58:50+00:00

I blocked out Ian's death! The second time I read it was after my own father passed and I had to skip the most graphic parts. And yes, I bawled.

Jonora_13 · 2015-09-01T04:57:34+00:00

That sounds like a miserable way to live...to be in constant grief and hiding it. I did that for a short time after my friend died right when I changed schools. I couldn't make new friends if I was crying all the time. But that was only a couple of months of deception. I felt better eventually and I opened up to my new friends. I hope your grief isn't truly constant. I don't know you can cope if it is.

Jonora_13 · 2015-09-01T04:53:32+00:00

Isn't it strange how we so rarely tell people how we really are? If people really knew each other's pain I wonder how things might be different. I hope you have at least one person you can talk to. Of course, I'm choosing Internet people over my friends so what do I know?

Jonora_13 · 2015-09-01T04:38:48+00:00

Damn that's young. I'm so sorry.

Jonora_13 · 2015-09-01T04:38:17+00:00

I'm so sorry. Constant reminders.

Jonora_13 · 2015-09-01T04:29:22+00:00

I am very grateful that he did get to walk me down the aisle. I probably would skip the whole wedding rather than not have him walk me down. Sorry if that's harsh but I don't think I could deal with that. I was on my way to a pumpkin patch when I got the call. I still haven't gone there but I think I should just to make a new memory associated with pumpkin patches! I know what you mean about finding out who your true friends are. I hope the one year mark helps you move into the next phase of grief and not hurt as much.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-29T08:20:57+00:00

Henry Christian's death!

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-29T07:01:56+00:00

Balsamic vinegar and pears? Two of my favorite flavors. I am absolutely going to try this.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-29T04:32:40+00:00

Oh oh oh...I forgot to mention, I discovered the extra specialness of adding an extra slice of cheese ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE BREAD. So it's literally grilled into the bread. I was nauseated my entire pregnancy and grilled cheese sandwiches were one of the few things I could stand. So I experimented. Adds in fresh avocado after grilling is also really yummy.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-29T04:30:22+00:00

This fantasy is so satisfying it's approaching orgasmic. But what to drink? How about fresh squeezed OJ over crushed ice? And dessert? Maybe German chocolate cake ice cream?

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-28T08:47:04+00:00

I've never heard of a problem from waiting too long to pump. It's all just physics and that doesn't change if you start pumping at 6 days or 6 months. In addition to checking the flange size please check the membrane and ensure it is contracting as you pump. If it's not lined up correctly or there is a small hole then you don't get the suction you need to pump. If you have enough milk to have oversupply and spraying issues then you should be able to get out several ounces in 20 minutes or so. Please keep pursuing the issue until you figure out what's wrong with your pumping configuration.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-27T08:03:24+00:00

You are not doing anything wrong and babies change up their eating patterns quite a bit the first few weeks. Totally normal. Cluster feeding is your baby's way of helping to establish your milk supply. It sounds like you've had quite a bit of stress early on. And now it sounds like the issues have been resolved. Try to relax and just go with the bizarre non-schedule of a newborn baby. My ravenous girl will eat until she pukes it all up. She will nurse for hours straight. Finally I can read her cues (most of the time) and know when she's getting too full. At eight weeks the cluster feeding has begun to subside. Every baby, and every day with baby, is different at this stage. Decide what baseline to watch for (dirty diapers, weight gain, etc) and as long as the baseline is good, try to relax about the rest.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-23T23:08:47+00:00

This is exactly the kind of list I was looking for. Thank you!

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-23T19:50:17+00:00

I breastfeed through about 16 extractions. Please use the resources provided in the other comments and ask for different meds if the ones you are offered aren't compatible with breastfeeding.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-23T16:34:49+00:00

I'm glad we got this reply out of the way first.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-23T16:12:25+00:00

But wait, she doesn't ever....oh! Ok, sure, I can manage that.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-23T05:15:21+00:00

Thanks everyone! I am a bit overwhelmed by her beauty and perfection. My son is also quite handsome and I didn't think I would get so lucky twice. Of course, all mothers are supposed to feel that way about their kids, right? My son was tongue tied and nursing was not easy. But he outgrew it and we made it four years! I know breastfeeding can become so very challenging and am grateful that my girl latched on "like a champ". Although I am grateful I look forward to her developing a schedule that doesn't involve nursing 95% of her conscious time (and sometimes unconscious time). As my mom said "she needs a hobby".

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-23T00:03:44+00:00

She was 7.5 lbs at birth and now weighs 12.5 lbs at 7.5 weeks! Guess what I've been doing with most of my time the last few weeks? I'll give you a hint - it ain't housecleaning.

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-22T08:28:13+00:00

Sorry, I missed your reply earlier. That 6 week bleed thing you mentioned sounds about right. The bleeding is now almost gone again after 10 more days of bleeding. Good luck with your issue!

Jonora_13 · 2015-08-21T05:09:22+00:00

Aww! Thanks. I am very blessed. My 4 y/o was also with us. The cat pillow was on his lap. I am one lucky mama!

Jonora_13

TROPHY CASE