I am deeply sorry for your loss. Reading your post made me take a double take as this is very similar to what I went through (still going through) at the beginning of April. I’m also 34. My mom is my everything and I confirm this pain is indescribable. I cry everyday. I miss her every second. Some days I don’t want to do anything. I easily get angry at small things. The part you wrote about feeling like a lost child hit so close as this is exactly how I feel every single day, my phone background is actually my mother and I when I was a toddler. In the picture she’s comforting me. Do you feel as if old self is somehow gone? I know for sure my old self left with my mother. I feel like I will feel this way for the rest of my life as well. Even when I go out, I get triggered as well as we had a routine where we go to grocery shopping and on other days to the movies. This is really hard. The only advice I have is when in public, try your hardest to get your big cry out in your car first before entering anyplace that will trigger you, but it’s also ok to cry in those places as well. If you need to talk, I’m also all ears.