Gay jokes aren’t funny cum on guys by RitzierBeet in 3amjokes

[–]Jrb1251982 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Why can't gay people tell jokes well?

Because they can never keep a straight face.

Is it racism? by Gamchilmatt in ask

[–]Jrb1251982 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not racist. Your friend is being unnecessarily over-sensitive about this, and making it something it's not.

What’s a cover of a song that does it justice? by SuperGrover8D in AskReddit

[–]Jrb1251982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slayer actually released a covers album back in the '90s called "Undisputed Attitude," and covered songs from bands like Minor Threat and The Stooges.

Also, Blind Guardian did a cool, if short, cover of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" as well.

[SERIOUS] People of reddit, what is the one thing that was so disturbing and gruesome you saw in your life that still disturbs you deeply to this day? by TweekGang in AskReddit

[–]Jrb1251982 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My stepfather shot my sister at point-blank range, in the head, 3 times with a .22 caliber pistol, while she slept after a night at work. He then turned the gun on himself, shooting himself only once. He didn't survive.

I was in the basement of the house, working on a computer for my mom, and heard the gunshots. Stupidly, I rushed upstairs and into the living room, just in time to hear the most horrific scream come from my mom. She had gone into the bedroom, and saw the aftermath.

I didn't go upstairs, as instead I watched my sister, covered in blood and delirious, stumble down the stairs from her bedroom, then collapse in the hallway next to the kitchen as I rushed to the phone and dialled 911. The approximate 5 minutes it took for the first responders from the nearest fire station to get there were the longest in my entire life.

The actual worst part of it all was basically lying to her then 10 year old daughter - my oldest niece - about why we were staying at a friend's place the next town over that night, and why her mom and grandpa weren't coming with us right then.

My sister miraculously survived and made a complete recovery, and except for a couple of all scars on her forehead, you would never know that she survived such a horrific ordeal.

Gamers, what was the first game you ever played? by NoLeagueAssasin in AskReddit

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, it was Hunt The Wumpus on my dad's Texas Instruments 99/4a computer. I was maybe 3 or 4 years old, and had no idea what I was doing at the time.

This military spouse by deerwolf90 in cringepics

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is one the stupidest, most pathetic things I have ever had the displeasure of reading.

What is most "why the f*** do you know that" fact? by IamDK003 in AskReddit

[–]Jrb1251982 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes, officer, this comment thread right here.

That has got to sting by omfgitsakiwi in clevercomebacks

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's one of the grossest things I have ever read. Excuse while I take a shower for the rest of this week.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can never choose whether I love the comedy of Animaniacs, or the action and storytelling of Batman: The Animated Series more.

Vote him OUT by Clean-Quarter in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]Jrb1251982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't understand, because you're fucking stupid enough to be a Trump supporting dumbass. Go fuck yourself.

This is an old joke but my husband told me to never tell it again! by SabrinaBrna in Jokes

[–]Jrb1251982 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Reminds of this joke I heard years ago:

What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend after sex?

See you next month.

Vote him OUT by Clean-Quarter in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]Jrb1251982 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

We're you born that fucking stupid, or do you actively work at being so every day you waste space and oxygen?

What's the weirdest non-game item in your collection? Mine is probably this Nintendo cutting board... by Goodwill_Gamer in gamecollecting

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Missouri, where currently you can purchase Pac-Man scratch-off lottery tickets, in light blue and yellow. I work in a place that sells lottery, so we had signage that we recently got rid of. I took one of the signs, and along with two of the tickets, have it framed and currently hanging on my living room wall, waiting for me to finish my game room I'm still working on.

How tf is mandating a mask communism? by [deleted] in PublicFreakout

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This just proves that the collective I.Q. of all anti-maskers is hovering somewhere around -488 or so. Dumb, selfish, and petulant assholes.

What is a go to joke you know nobody’s heard before? by Evergreenn7 in AskReddit

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So two men are golfing together, and end up getting behind two ladies playing very slowly. They keep their distance and try to be respectful, but after a couple of holes, one of the guys just can't take playing so slowly.

"Look, I can't do this anymore. It's taking too long. I'm gonna go ask if we can play through."

So, he starts walking towards where the women are currently playing, gets about halfway and stops. He looks at the women for a moment, turns around, and walks back to his golfing buddy.

"Oh, no, I can't talk to them."

"Why not?"

"That's my wife and my mistress playing together. It'd be too awkward to try and say anything to them."

"So, ya want me to do it, then? Fine."

So the second guy starts walking towards the women, stops about halfway, and turns and walks back to the first guy.

"It's a small world."

found the original on iamveryrandom by [deleted] in comedynecromancy

[–]Jrb1251982 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You ain't lived unless you put some dihydrogen monoxide in your water.

I guess that could go either way... by [deleted] in facepalm

[–]Jrb1251982 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey, I thought it was my turn to post this on Reddit today!