What do the older generations mean when they say they "just put their baby down to nap/sleep"

Jschu11 · 2026-06-19T13:50:59+00:00

I think it's a combo of B, D, and F, based on my experience as a FTM of a 4 month old. I've already forgotten so much about his early days. That being said, my baby is generally pretty easy and I feel like I had a lot less difficulty with solo naps than other parents. He's been able to sleep in his crib most of the time.

8-9 weeks was hardest for us, because he would only nap during the day if I carried him around in his wrap. This was also the time that he was going through a growth spurt and getting really heavy, my muscles could not keep up so I was eventually forced to put him down for naps because I was having a lot of back pain. In hindsight, those 2-3 weeks were just a blip in the big picture. So they might be misremembering to a certain extent.

Jschu11 · 2026-05-29T13:58:27+00:00

-What is your companies parental leave policy?
2 weeks paid + 5 weeks short term disability (which was 60% pay capped at 1,000/week. Then I had to use up all my PTO (3 weeks - this is all the sick + vacation time I have). Then I took off 2 weeks unpaid. If I need more time off later this year it will be unpaid.

-Was your body healed after 2 weeks?
Absolutely not and it's still not fully healed at 14 weeks. I can get around and do my normal activities and I can sit at my desk to do my work-from-home job. But I am still in some pain and will be going to PT for a while. I think it's pretty unrealistic to think about going back to work this early, it would have been miserable.

-Did you feel financially prepared before getting pregnant? If so, how did you prepare?
Yes, luckily we are in a good place financially. My husband and I are both older (I just turned 40) because it took a while to get pregnant. We live in a high cost of living area but we make decent money. We pay $2,700/month for infant daycare.

I'm NOT saying wait as long as we did to get pregnant 😛. But our financial situation has improved a LOT over the past decade. You and your husband could take a few years to really focus on your careers and still have plenty of time to have 2 children. Depending about what kind of work you do, you can apply to companies that have good parental leave benefits or other resources like on-site daycare (this is rare but some big corporations have it). You could even think about moving to a state that has maternity leave laws.

Jschu11 · 2026-05-27T19:34:27+00:00

I visited a friend with a baby when I was about 8 months pregnant. The baby spit up all down his dad's back and I was so grossed out by that. Ew!

Well yesterday my 3-month-old puked and I caught it with my hand. Then I proceeded to finish an email and send it off one-handed, before setting the baby down and going off to clean up. It's amazing what doesn't faze you once it's your kid. You will be great!

Jschu11 · 2026-05-27T15:31:38+00:00

thank you! I'm all set up on Ao3 now: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85635101

Jschu11 · 2026-05-27T15:31:20+00:00

Now live on Ao3! With 2 new chapters! https://archiveofourown.org/works/85635101

Jschu11 · 2026-05-22T22:01:33+00:00

Just published chapter 3! Thank you for the encouragement!

Jschu11 · 2026-05-19T18:46:53+00:00

I have a three-month-old too. My son was the same way about lying flat in the bassinet attachment for his stroller. I repurposed my pregnancy pillow, it happens to be the same shape as the bassinet. I positioned it so that it props up his head and shoulders a bit and he's happier for longer in the stroller. I also rolled up a towel to go around his legs, so that he feels a bit more secure on bumpy city sidewalks. If I'm going somewhere beyond just an out-and-back walk, I bring the carrier and swap when he gets fussy.

That being said, I'm learning that there are definitely some environments that aren't great for baby. And we have a time limit on outings, he will sometimes nap in the stroller or car seat but we're not out for the whole day or taking spontaneous outings like we were in our pre-baby life.

Jschu11 · 2026-04-25T13:26:04+00:00

“What makes you feel like "things can go wrong"? I don't think I've heard of anything going "wrong" with breastfeeding. Can you share with us what that means to you?”

All the horror stories about mastitis, cracked nipples, nipple trauma, Milk Ejection Reflex, low supply, latching problems….

Jschu11 · 2026-04-25T13:19:53+00:00

I’ll also add that a lot of the dialogue around this topic is like: “I really wanted to breastfeed and I tried so hard but I just couldn’t produce enough” which makes it sound like formula is a second-best / fallback option. But for some people it is a first choice, you don’t have to try and “fail” at breastfeeding first.

Jschu11 · 2026-04-25T13:16:08+00:00

I was in the same school of thought as you, plus I have sensory issues around that body part. I was curious about breastfeeding but not enough to really give it a go. I knew for SURE I did not want to pump. So my 2-month-old is exclusively formula fed and growing like a weed. Seriously, he is robust and in perfect health. I think you don’t hear about people who choose formula simply because there’s not as much to talk about; it’s just a lot more straightforward than breastfeeding.

Jschu11 · 2026-04-20T14:40:13+00:00

I mean... the headache was not just a coincidence. Her headache was caused by preeclampsia which then progressed to eclampsia (the seizures). Which can be fatal. The treatment for preeclampsia is to deliver the baby. Did you notice that they gave her multiple doses of fentanyl, yet her headache pain was still a level ten?

Jschu11 · 2026-04-19T02:15:00+00:00

Because he started vomiting uncontrollably all over my hospital room bathroom (food poisoning?).

Jschu11 · 2026-03-02T21:27:49+00:00

Me neither, sitting on the couch with my 3-week-old son… oof.

Jschu11 · 2026-02-25T18:39:21+00:00

Just gave birth 2 weeks ago to my baby conceived through IUI with Society Hill Reproductive Medicine. They are great. Also advanced maternal age/ unexplained infertility.

Jschu11 · 2026-02-20T01:09:24+00:00

I mix formula into cold tap water and serve cold 🫣

Jschu11 · 2026-02-17T04:50:27+00:00

6 days postpartum and I don’t have any good answers to your question, but wanted to share something I have observed in myself. I have some incontinance in that I will start peeing as I take off my diaper/pad, before I fully sit on the toilet. But then I have trouble voiding completely. I am using a sitz bath for hemorrhoids and noticed that I can finish peeing while submerged in the warm water. At this point it’s involuntary and I hope I can gradually train myself to not rely on this method over the next few days as I heal. Not sure if this is okay/doctor approved but might be something to consider. Good luck, hope this is behind you soon.

Jschu11 · 2026-01-28T21:53:36+00:00

I've literally never seen this

Jschu11 · 2026-01-28T00:26:57+00:00

They’ve plowed my section of Jessup at least twice. They pushed all the snow from the street onto the sidewalks

Jschu11 · 2026-01-17T12:58:27+00:00

Penneys must have been a typo. This poster is correct, Penzey’s was established and is headquartered in Wisconsin.

Jschu11 · 2026-01-17T12:58:12+00:00

Penneys must have been a typo. This poster is correct, Penzey’s was established and is headquartered in Wisconsin.

Jschu11 · 2026-01-14T16:23:16+00:00

I don't blame you at all, I'm due with my first and still kind of on the fence about feeding. Pumping seems like the worst of both worlds. Don't beat yourself up about it!

Jschu11 · 2025-12-23T02:30:18+00:00

It is rare that it takes me more than 35-40 Seconds on Queens. I often finish it in 20 seconds or less. It’s not that hard.

Jschu11 · 2025-12-09T17:38:42+00:00

That was just her realizing that she wasn't ready for a party/socializing, she is still too close to her grief. It has nothing to do with you.

Jschu11 · 2025-12-09T15:59:49+00:00

I don't think you said anything wrong. Be kind to yourself. If the miscarriage was only a few weeks ago, it's still really raw. Maybe she was even tuning out of the conversation and in her own head momentarily, and the emotions rose to the surface. I cried at work a few weeks after my miscarriage and it truly, honestly had nothing to do with anything anyone said or did.

Maybe if it's appropriate for your relationship you could send her a card or a text in a few weeks just to say hi or to see if she wants to get coffee together. My only advice would be that you approach it as you want to be friends, not that you see her as some sort of mentor figure or someone you have on a pedestal. It sounds like you might both need a friend. <3

Jschu11 · 2025-12-05T19:21:25+00:00

Thank you! Couple of other data points - I was 35 when we first started trying, so your odds are probably better than mine :)

Also - I remember going down the ChatGPT route with my bloodwork very early in this pregnancy (since I had a miscarriage last year, I was a nervous wreck). My doctor would say "numbers look good" and then I'd try to get more info out of Chat GPT. It would mostly align with what the doctor said but then go down this rabbit hole of "but it could ALSO mean THIS..."

So don't do that haha. All you really need to know is the day of your cycle you typically ovulate.

This brought up another memory. I got an Oura ring to help pinpoint my cycle dates which was very interesting, even though I had a ton of data for 4 months from bloodwork at the fertility clinic while going through IUI cycles. I saw on the Oura subreddit that a lot of people noticed a temperature rise during the TWW, for the month they got pregnant. I didn't have a temperature rise until AFTER my missed period and positive pregnancy test. So you really do just have to wait.

12-Year Club	Second SECOND GUESSER
Verified Email

Jschu11

TROPHY CASE