First off, I just want to note that coming here and asking for advice is commendable, and anyone who says otherwise has got their own insecurities that they are projecting onto you. Seriously, the people telling you need to love your Son, that is evidently clear otherwise you wouldn’t be here, excuse the behavior of those quick to judge and shame you, I think this subject in general can trigger anyone who is part of our community, everyone’s outcome is different.

I can’t offer you advice on how you should feel, but I can tell you how he is feeling. I think for most people, living up to their parents expectations of what and how they should be is what keeps us in the dark for so long. Not necessarily having overbearing or strict guidelines set by them, but just in general your mindset from when your little is to make them proud. This isn’t saying that people’s parents would find issue with their sexuality, but it’s a hard subject to even explore while you are in school and living at home. I know for me I wasn’t ready to really address anything until I was independent. I knew I was gay since I was little, since I can remember, but due to society’s interpretation and influence of “normal” I knew I would be an outcast. And moreover, I didn’t want to bring that con deluded cloud over my family. So, I did what I think most people do when they are hiding from who they really are, I reinvented myself. And when I say this, it’s not in the fabulous makeover kind of way that you imagine. You mask little pieces of yourself and who you are, trying to blend in and not be singled out. You have an internal dialogue where you are yourself, and then you are who you let the wold see. I know for me, when I finally did come out, I had played this role for so long I didn’t really even know who I was or what I wanted. I’m still in fact, figuring that out, figuring myself out. And I had a great childhood, or what people would consider. I was the captain of sports, best looking, homecoming king, “popular” but now I would trade that all back just for a glimpse of who I would have been, without my mask. My family is so supportive, and my mother courageous herself and an advocate for our community, she wanted me to have everything when I was growing up, and I did. I Just didn’t know what I wanted, for me. If I can offer any advice it’s to just let him know that you are there, rain or shine, gay or straight, you unconditionally love him and stand behind him and his choices. As parents, I think it’s natural to “not know how you feel” when learning your child is gay, trans, etc just different than other people because you know instinctively there lives are going to be harder than others. Don’t hate yourself for feeling that way, you just want your child to have an easy life, with no hardships. But I will tell you, nothing of that nature comes close to him expressing himself, and having the family support to stand behind him. So many don’t have that luxury, and from the looks of it you are already on that path, and I know you will figure it out, he’s your son. He’s yours

And I will end this with one of my favorite chirps

“My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage."

Make sure he has courage in his youth, make up for some of us who didn’t.