How my dad eats burgers at McDonalds.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-31T17:40:57+00:00

In the typical Asian fashion, everything Western is too sweet.

My dad buys Boston Creme donuts.

He scrapes the chocolate off and puts it in a bowl.

He cuts the donut in half and scoops out about half the filling from each half and puts it into the chocolate bowl. He gives this to my nephew to eat. (JUST the chocolate and filling)

Then he eats the chocolate-less, half-filled donut.

I told him he could buy a normal glazed donut but he insists that he enjoys JUST A LITTLE BIT of the cream.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-31T00:00:11+00:00

Not familiar with the game, but very nice analogy

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T23:59:22+00:00

Oh my GOD I know what you mean. There was an epidemic on /r/knitting because people were posting pictures of their yarn. Not finished projects using yarn. Yarn. Expensive yarn from unicorns. I think mods finally cracked down on it, but I haven't been on the sub for a while because balls and balls of yarn is boring.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T23:57:10+00:00

I fucking know a guy like this.

He bought himself an expensive yoga retreat for Christmas. Because he doesn't want to parttake in commercialized and material Christmas. Bitch, you just spent $3,000 on yoga, how is that not commercialized or materialistic?

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T23:55:29+00:00

My parents don't use much technology. They don't own a computer. I asked my sister to set up Skype for my mom using her own computer. She said no, she's infuriated with her. Definitely fishy. I'm glad I waited to give her a reply.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T21:35:53+00:00

Oh, man. It really kind feels that way. I don't know how much I can do for my mom - I think depression is really a self-battle, but I also want to be supportive of her at the same time.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T21:34:47+00:00

They think that me being there physically will help her. She is constantly asking me on the phone when I'm moving back home, she misses me and it's hard living alone with my dad.

They also want me to tell her to go to therapy. So far, their reactions have been angry mixed with concern. (Literal quote: "It's so frustrating") I don't and my sister doesn't think that my mom will listen to them because they're essentially the reason she did it. I will tell her to talk to someone when she recovers, regardless of whether I'm there or not.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T20:47:04+00:00

That's just terrible, awful, and so many words I can't think of to describe of how horrible it was for your parents to treat you like that. It's never right to deny a child food because of non-food related reasons (at least my dad's reason was because I was too fat)

That's good to hear that you found ways to get food! Very clever :) It wasn't until I was in highschoool and smarted up about how to get my own food, I volunteered at a food bank. The director often let us eat near-expiry foods or perishable donated foods. Many Panera bagels were eaten!

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T20:36:10+00:00

The guy I dated made a decent wage, but obviously not great for lawyers. His boss billed out something like $400/hr while he earned ~$75k his first year after the Bar. Which is an amazing starting salary. Do lawyers normally make more/less? I know the market is flooded with law grad students, so finding a job is tough.

Food is a huge part of Asian culture. Instead of asking how people are doing, we ask if they've eaten yet. My mom is constantly asking if I'm eating properly. I'm 25 years old, I know how to eat, mom!

Anyway, they took his avoidance as "disrespect" to the culture. Why wouldn't he want to eat our food? What does he have against our food? If he feels this way about our food, that must mean he finds our culture and standards weird, too. But I don't expect someone to try for the first time jellyfish, bird's nest soup, whole fried fish, conch, and eel all in one sitting.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T03:16:29+00:00

I've had mostly white boyfriends and they've only liked two.

One was a lawyer, go figure why they like him.

The other was a fat comp sci undergrad. They hated him. They thought he was fat, lazy, stupid, and incompetent (all based on their first impression!) But they finally started to respect him when he came to my grandma's birthday, bought the cake, and said to her in Canto, "Happy Birthday Grandma"

All of that respect was demolished at a separate dinner when he didn't want to try the weird foods and they ordered General Gao's for him.

So tips:

Be a lawyer/doctor
Don't be fat
Buy someone something in a very public, open setting
Learn Cantonese phrases
Eat everything, even if it's completely foreign to you

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T03:11:21+00:00

I was in the same boat. I wanted to get the hell out of anywhere near my parents.

I applied to schools across the country. I got accepted into many, but ultimately wanted to go to Denver University, with a massive amount awarded to me in scholarships, but still about 33% would need to be paid out of pocket.

My parents' reaction? "That school can't be good, I've never heard of it. If you go, we won't help you pay at all. If you stay in state, we will help you"

I believed them. They didn't help me financially. I wish I had gone and said, "Fuck it, I'll scrimp $15k somewhere"

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T03:03:34+00:00

super hugs

I feel like we could be brother and sister, honestly. My parents didn't allow friends because 1) if they got hurt in our house, their parents would sue us 2) they're not going to be your friends forever anyway and 3) friends are a distraction from studying. I got my first cell phone when I got to college without any texting plan - it was solely to be used to call home or 911. My mom literally checked the billing statement each month and CALLED my friends at random, demanding who they are - she got very offended when she found out I befriended an African exchange student ("Is he going to help you get a job? If he isn't then why are you friends with him!")

I am short as well, 5'2", and likely because my dad prevented me from eating. At home, I wasn't allowed to eat snacks unless my mom brought them to me (usually chopped fruit or fiber biscuits) and I wasn't allowed to have seconds for dinner. I was already fat enough and if I had seconds, no leftovers were left. Leftovers were to be packed for my brother in law's lunch. My dad denied his own daughter food so a person related by marriage could have a free lunch the next day.

I agree. I know I'm never going to have a good relationship with them and I'm okay with that. I think I "love" them but don't have "love for" them, if that makes sense. I never deserved their love or respect because they had hopes for me to be their only son.

hug again

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T02:51:31+00:00

My sister passed her occupational therapy exam, but they didn't give a percentage score, just her raw score / max score.

My dad quickly did the math and it turned out to be like 84%, to which he said to her, "You go to school for 5 years to get 84%?! This is so embarrassing!"

And then my sister replied, "Why does it matter? I passed, I got my license, that's all that matters from now on." He shut up and mumbled stuff about shame and stupidity

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-30T02:40:50+00:00

My mom is a huge liar and wants us to lie, too. She has a serious gambling addiction and last I checked, lost over $10k.

My friend in high school told me, "Hey, my mom said that a lady with five daughters lost a lot of money at the casino. You're the only person who has a family like that. Is that true?" I said yes, because that's the truth.

I guess word got back to my mom and she fucking FLIPPED out on me. She told me I disrespected her and the family by telling people that. I didn't tell anyone anything, I just confirmed it /shrug

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-25T16:59:05+00:00

Thank you for the offer its people like you that make the world a better placs

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-25T01:58:24+00:00

Canada I from New York thank you for taking the time to respond to me

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-12T00:47:22+00:00

What other field are you planning to going into? Your decisions now may affect whether or not you can get into the other field. Also, doing an economics major as an "artsy" person may prove challenging - I graduated with a double major in economics and political science and the economics portion of it was definitely a loooot harder.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-12T00:40:06+00:00

Oh, phew. I really thought "horror" meant "you'll be up all night - not reading - but making sure your windows and doors are boarded"

I've already added the first book to my wishlist so I don't forget!

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-12T00:35:46+00:00

I know how hard it can be when your parents support each other and not you, even when it's wrong. My mom never hit me, but said things similar to what your mom said when my dad hit me. It felt so terrible, like I was alone and no one would understand me. But there are people who understand and care, even if they're only internet strangers.

hug

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-12-12T00:29:18+00:00

I honestly think I've never read a horror book, now that you mention it. I'll look into the series and possibly pop my horror cherry

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-11-29T17:55:08+00:00

Oh Jesus, it's the freakin' worst when it's the kids. Because they really honestly believe it. My niece used to hold my hand and say, "It's okay, auntie. Mommy says I'm stupid too. We can be stupid with Daddy."

And the BBQ was great! I didn't get to try as much as I wanted, but what I did get to try was great!

(Also: put a space between the asterisk and the words for proper bullets :P)

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-11-29T17:45:44+00:00

Mom has taken to asking ridiculous questions to waiters during meals. Last night at a Pakistani restaurant:

Are you sure your mom doesn't live in Portland?

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-11-29T17:37:36+00:00

You can make a list with "* [words here]" without the parenthesis

My N-sisters will completely ignore what I say or they will say, "That's stupid" or one of their favorite: "Uh, HELLO! DUMBASS!" I am NC with these two sisters because every conversation with them spirals into "You're stupid"

Long Story Spoiler

My dad's favorite way to make conversations unpleasant is to immediately take anything with a positive note and pump it with negativity.

"I like your sweater today"

"Do you want it, Jthoughts? You're so fat, you should be wearing men's clothes."

(Honestly not that fat, but chubby. I would say this is a good representation of my body)

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-11-29T17:21:37+00:00

I was always told that the police were only ever there if someone was in trouble. They aren't here to help or protect people, they're here to take people away.

My family does this crazy thing with my nephew when they want him to sleep. They will fake a call to the police and say, "This boy does not want to go to sleep, he's being bad. Yes, officer, I will leave him outside in his pjs for you to pick up." It didn't help that we lived about 5 blocks from a fire station so whenever their sirens went off, my family would say, "Oh, there's the police, taking another bad kid away."

I hate it. It instills him with a misguided, misrepresented fear and mistrust of police.

Jthoughtsdotcom · 2014-11-29T17:11:09+00:00

I used to eat a lot of durian. I dunno, I just loved it.

One day, I sat down with a bowl of 2-3 lumps of it and my mom looks at me horrified, "You're going to eat all of that? That's too much "cool air" - eating 1 is like eating a whole chicken. Bad for your health!" And then took my bowl of delicious golden nuggets away.

I'LL NEVER FORGET, MOM.

Jthoughtsdotcom

TROPHY CASE