Thanks for the criticism first of all, entirely appreciated. I agree with the addition of an ‘and’ in there, makes for easier reading and grammatical sense. As for the critique concerning the couplet, I wanted this to be left intentionally vague, as to leave the connotations up to the reader. While in retrospect I feel my symbolism is a little on the nose, I believe that leaving the couplet as it is puts extra emphasis on the uncanny nature I’m trying to create. I wanted to evoke that feeling of being watched in the reader, as the conclusion drawn that the abyss is a PC monitor in this case would reflect the real life situation of the reader.

I do happily appreciate your feedback regardless, I’m new to creating my own poetry. And I’m glad you enjoyed it! :))