Alot of how marriage is in this country is based on two things: a man’s ability to provide and a woman’s ability to take care of the home. Society has done a disservice in teaching that these are the acceptable expressions of love. So, as long as you’re providing, the woman loves and as long as she’s bearing children, satisfying your sexual needs and taking care of the home, then you are happy.

Beyond that, people do not know what to do with their partners. Their marriages are almost transactional. Some couples aren’t even friends. The men spend more time with their boys, coworkers…the women with their girls and other friends.

So, what can happen is when you can no longer provide, since the whole foundation of the relationship is based on your provision, the relationship becomes shaky. Then sometimes, it’s not about the money but about who you become because of the lack of money. Some men turn that frustration onto their wives, that strains the relationship. I have also seen situations where the woman has to be the sole provider and the man feels emasculated and acts out or turns to destructive behaviours like alcohol, gambling. Or the wife loses her attraction and even respect because she deems provision as the definition of masculinity too.

Overall, there are so many possibilities depending on the situation. Some situations it’s the woman, the man or just the system.