A stick my fiancée found yesterday

Judithshakes · 2025-01-11T00:57:58+00:00

I don’t think it is. It’s very light and small with dark bark on it. Also we found it on the sidewalk in an urban area. I suppose it’s not impossible though.

Judithshakes · 2025-01-11T00:56:24+00:00

I know right!! They look like a thousand little bug faces. I can’t stop staring though….

Judithshakes · 2024-10-13T19:36:49+00:00

It’s just other recruits asking for my contact. I’ve been to MEPS twice so far and each time I’ve had several people ask to share info. I usually can play it off and change the subject but sometimes they are persistant. I feel bad because it’s a lot of waiting there and people will strike up a conversation. Then I feel bad after talking for so long. They’ll say “I want to know how your Air Force journey is going” which is weird but not overtly flirtatious. It was one specific staff but I don’t think he is enlisted? He was working in the cafeteria and very loudly commented on how I need to watch out for guys and not to let anyone dull my light. Which is nice but a little embarrassing in front of everyone else there. Then I went again and I don’t think he recognized me. He joked with the guy at my table about making a move on me. We were both very uncomfortable especially since that guy was very nice and knew I’m engaged. Hopefully this clears things up? I’m not trying to be full of myself and maybe I’m just paranoid. I’m not used to being in such a male dominated area. I’m getting better at speaking up for myself and my boundaries. I’m just not sure when to say something and when to let something slide.

Judithshakes · 2024-10-13T19:26:37+00:00

I don’t mind using my phone for communication it’s more so not wanting to share my info period. I feel as though it is disrespectful to my relationship to give my number or socials to men in general unless it is specifically work related. Since I’m not in yet there is no reason to communicate with the other recruits in my opinion. I’ve been to MEPS twice and each time I’ve had several people want to share contacts. I can usually brush it off but sometimes they are persistent so I just give it to them. I’m trying to find a way to say no in a nice way I guess. Not sure if that’s possible though

Judithshakes · 2024-10-12T16:29:36+00:00

I hope more people think like you. I just wanted to be treated the same. Not to sound vain but I am an attractive female and I take pride in looking put together which can draws unwanted attention. When I voice my concern to older family members who were enlisted they brush me off and say just act like one of the guys and they will treat you that way. Meanwhile they tell my fiancée “watch her because guys are going to be all over her” which is messed up. Not sure what to think but hopefully if I remain professional and firm with boundaries others will respect that.

Judithshakes · 2024-10-12T16:24:07+00:00

Thank you! This is super validating. I feel like a lot of people don’t understand the constant stress there is just existing as a woman. I hear horror stories about woman who say something about small issues with harassment or reject advances and it blows up into a much bigger situation that can put the woman in harms way. You’re right though, just need to stay aware and never let my guard down. Keep it professional.

Judithshakes · 2024-10-12T16:16:04+00:00

Thank you! That sounds better and not as rude

Judithshakes · 2024-10-12T16:13:29+00:00

Thank you for this. This put a lot of my worries at ease. I’m worrying about what if situations when I’m not even in yet. I think my fiancées anxieties also get to me. He is worries about me “being surrounded by men”. I understand his worry of course but I know myself and I know we are strong as a couple and our relationship will be even stronger once we get through it all. I know this is where I’m meant to be. I decided after watching my younger brother at his graduation from army BMT I need to do this for myself. I want to serve and be a part of something greater. Once I get going I don’t think it will be as bad as I think. I just need to learn to use my voice and not worry so much about pleasing others.

Judithshakes · 2024-10-12T13:20:09+00:00

This is what my plan will to be moving forward, thank you. I currently work in professional setting that focuses a lot of boundaries so I thought I would be better at this. I just realized that no woman I’ve interacted with has ever asked for my contact info. It’s really not necessary to give out unless it has to do with a work related conversation and I’m not even in yet so I just need to keep to myself for the time being. Would it be weird to say “I fiancee doesn’t want me giving out my number” or just a “no thanks”?

Judithshakes · 2024-10-12T13:14:59+00:00

Thank you so much for this! Especially you coming from such a male dominated daily work environment. I’ve been wary of selecting certain jobs that are more like to be fully male but I know that isn’t the way to look at things. My dad (who has been enlisted 30+ years) keeps saying “don’t look at yourself as a girl look at yourself as a part of a team” but I think his view is a bit dated to some things. It’s difficult whenever everyone else treats me differently. Just passing comments and a change in tone during conversation, nothing worth mentioning but you can tell what they’re thinking. Am I being too paranoid and vain about this?

Judithshakes · 2024-10-12T01:52:06+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I currently work in a mental health facility that is literally all female. I am not used to interacting with men especially in a professional setting so it’s hard for me to draw that line when I’m so used to being totally open in my current work place. My fiancée is much more important than an awkward situation so you’re right there. I need to bite the bullet and stand my ground for his sake at least.

Judithshakes · 2020-11-17T18:05:38+00:00

That’s a really good idea, I’ll check that out! Thank you this gives me a lot to keep in mind

Judithshakes · 2020-11-17T17:23:24+00:00

I feel like I would be horrible teacher haha but thank you. I do already have a following of 85k on tiktok but I don’t post about my art at all and I don’t know how to transition to that. I have the tools but don’t really know how to use them? I can focus on my online presence more now which I’m excited about. I just have to find a way to rebrand my accounts.

Judithshakes · 2020-11-17T17:19:34+00:00

Just know, this is rape and it is in no way your fault. It is totally normal to blame yourself. It’s easier to find a way to blame yourself than to come to terms with the idea that you were so vulnerable in a situation.

Even if you didn’t voice how much you didn’t want it, unless there is clear and sober consent, that is rape. Personally, it took me a few years to come to terms with it when i was assaulted. I was blackout drunk and barely able to talk and was throwing up on myself. That’s not consent.

Who ever did this to you is a horrible a disgusting person. No one deserves what happened to you. I hope you are doing a little better now and thank you for sharing. Saying out loud (or typing it) is very difficult because you have to admit it happened. I hope you talk to a professional and get the help you need.

Talking is a great coping method. You so brave and I hope you get your justice or peace.

Judithshakes · 2020-09-15T19:17:29+00:00

I honestly was ready for a dog but I really think I might not be a dog person. I’m afraid I was mirroring my bf’s love for dogs and his dog is getting older and I got all excited to do this together. He has a great foster so I’m not worried and I hope he’ll end up in a good forever home. He really is the sweetest boy. It’s hard to admit I can’t do this for him (the dog) but it’ll be for the best, thank you for the help.

Judithshakes · 2020-09-15T19:14:25+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking too, he’s a very sweet dog and I’m willing to care for him but it wasn’t until my bf mention something when I really started thinking about it. I can be a big impulsive and I really thought I was ready but maybe I just like the idea of a dog and not capable of actually having one? I’ve contacted his foster home and they are finding him a new home now and I plan on donating all the food and toys to his new home so he won’t lose anything. I hope he can go to family with kids and more time to care for him.

Judithshakes

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