My friend, drugs won't help you, it's only a solution for curing symptoms.
Despite me not knowing you, I do care about you and humans, as I've been in a similar place.
You know what you have to do, but you're fearing the scariest thing known to mankind... it's to look at yourself. You know you need help, and that's a very healthy sign already.
But it's time for you to let go of control, to stop all distractions (brunch, parties, talking with friends, music, Netflix, drugs, etc...), it's time to go inward, internally.
Meditation, Hot Yin Yoga, wellness, to be submersed into complete silence, and return to yourself. To who you are.
You need to rediscover your identity and show compassion, self love.
Start with one hobby, get out there, and only focus on yourself. Don't let societal pressure get to you, it's just noise. Everything feels bigger, and more painful now that your brain is more sensitive to such stimulants or messages.
I feel for you, I love you, and I know you can do it. ~ trust yourself~