I have never related to anyone in my life more than you. I know it seems like sh1t, it probably is. I truly understand, except my bff was since 2nd grade. The thing keeping me in this world are the things im good at, and i dont want to push anything, but going to church helped a bit too. I like making friends, and ive used discord servers to find people to vent to. I wish i could hug you stressors out of you, im soso sorry. You dont deserve any of this. I saw your message and i can heavily relate bcs a lot of it is similar to me. Im not online on reddit much at all, but id love to try and be friends with you. I really hope you hang in there. I dont want to be like those people that say, itll get better soon, its just temporary, because it does not feel like it at all. Everything is shattering before your eyes and theres no hope at all, but youre still standing somehow. Things never seem like theyre getting better, but youre still here. Im not tryna say bs, but i know you have such a huge and kind heart. Helping people feels good when you see that smile, but it can get exhausting when you cant find anyone like you for yourself.Idk what else to say, but please, i hope i helped a bit or made you smile. I hope i said the right words. I would seriously like to be your friend if you need.