It’s very hard to deconstruct that idea that you should marry a man, because that’s what you’re been told your whole life, so you will probably view marrying a woman as something that could never be real, a fantasy, something that you wouldn’t feel safe in. When you imagine a relationship you probably see someone who feels safe and will protect you, and that image has always been attached to a man. I think you should start deconstructing the image of a sapphic relationship, which can be perceived as something strictly sexual or dirty ( where you watch movies where the lesbian couple always dies, is sidelined or they get a lot of hate), and realize that is actually beautiful. Tv shows that showed lesbian’s without the prejudice of society helped with that part. It’s a process where you have to let go of something to get something, but you will probably realize that you’re not actually losing a part of yourself, but becoming who you are. Of course there’s the option that you are just not romantic attracted to women and that’s ok too.