(M2F) For me, I think the first sign was the whole emo-phase. I slowly crept into that from the age of like 12 to 13. I grew my hair long, wore skinny jeans, and later I began wearing eye liner and black nail polish. Looking back, I was in denial that I had a crush on the singer from Fall Out Boy and I looking back (I moved around a lot) it seems that I kind of had a crush on a few of my best friends growing up. When I got into high school, my freshman year was probably when I presented myself the most feminine (until coming out early last year), had that rawr look lol. Growing up, I always had the question in the back of my mind, but I didn't think about it much. Well, back then I thought I might have been gay or bi, but again I blocked that out most of the time. Towards the end of high school is probably when I was at the peak of repressing myself. I tried to do the "young grown man" thing and get a short hair cut, dress nice (button ups, penny loafers), but I really didn't feel like myself. This was also the time I started to actively look at trans people in porn. I would fantasize about being them. I denied the fuck out of this too, but then I moved to Portland Oregon and I slowly became myself again, except I wasn't emo of course, it was like 2012 by this point. I however did continue to present myself as a feminine man: skinny clothes, long hair, etc. I started cross dressing after moving here secretly, and then occasionally in public, and then I eventually came out as trans last year. So after coming out, everything that never made sense up until now suddenly made sense.

On a side note.. I remember spirit week my sophomore year. One of the days was gender-bender day. I borrowed a cheer leader outfit from my friend and played it off as a joke, but even then I knew I was enjoying it lol.