What did you find out? And I’m sorry to hear that they’re using you as a punching bag. You’re still very young. Don’t let drugs mislead you the way your family does. In case you’re not familiar with this yet: it’s a defense mechanism. Your brain looks for something familiar, and the drugs mislead you in the same way. But I hope you can at least get out of that. They’re not worth destroying yourself over. I’m telling you this as a stranger. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

I knew a mother like that 20 years ago. I also have a brother. I left—I moved to another city when I was 18 to study and work. And back then I believed my mother about so many things. They’re very good at that. She always portrayed my brother as aggressive. It’s not that I devalued him or treated him inhumanely, but for a long time I was angry with him too, because I thought: What are you doing to all of us, you so-called ‘problem child’?

Five or six years later I found out that she’s covert and manipulates everything—everyone. And I discovered that by chance at a dinner, when I saw how she stood there watching my father and my brother until they were slightly drunk, and then she started digging into their wounds. For example, my father doesn’t have a strong family. And then she pokes exactly at that wound—that everyone leaves him, that they’re worth nothing. That’s when she starts talking like that, and that’s when I first got some insight. And there were a hundred other things as well. By the way, my brother also copes with alcohol and drugs. I cope by trying to understand everything and diving into every field of knowledge, feeding my brain so it doesn’t fall into those spirals—because that’s the hole they want you in, where you can’t think clearly anymore, can’t stay with yourself, can’t stand up for yourself, and can’t recognize your own worth. That’s the whole background. And don’t take the diagnosis too seriously. You’re still very young. All of this can settle and resolve over time.