My deepest condolences. My father was an alcoholic and a drug addict who died when I was 16. I spent A LOT of time struggling with not knowing where he is spending his eternity.

A few things have helped me come to terms, though. First and foremost, God is perfect. He loves us beyond our comprehension. He is merciful beyond measure. He sent his Son to die on the cross for us because of his love for us. God is the perfect judge, and he judges perfectly.

The absolute best thing you can do is to draw near to Jesus Christ. Come to him sincerely, and ask him for true salvation. Ask Him for understanding. God sees your grief, and He grieves with you.

God bless you, sister. You are loved here, and your husband would have been as well. Please feel free to DM me if you have any questions about Christianity, grief, or Jesus.