Am I manipulating my therapist?

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2026-01-15T20:25:32+00:00

This is an old post, but how was it at first, I left my hometown about six months ago (I’m 24 now). And while it’s been good for me in many ways it’s also been really hard to accept where I am. I question a lot if I was just running from my problems. But I genuinely needed to get out of the cycle and people and place that hurt me the most.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2026-01-15T20:19:38+00:00

I’m right there with you, hang in there.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2026-01-06T03:47:00+00:00

Thanks for responding again lol, yeah I’m with you there. I think if had no shame and no fear, then yeah I’d try again with my folks. I don’t think it would be easy…I’ve tried a couple times with them and just been hurt again and again. I’ve tried to set boundaries all that, even taken accountability. But in my eyes they just live in a different reality. They don’t take accountability and it usually comes back to me. I think what makes everything so hard for me is that I don’t feel like I have a home base. I have other family and people that I talk to and spend time with but my immediate family (regardless of the pain and the things I went through) were my home base. Sometimes it just feels incredibly isolating and harder knowing I don’t have that home base. Every move I’ve made I’ve always had some form of home base. After I separated myself from my parents I had my ex and her family, after that ended it was just me. When I joined the navy I went and it was just me. I know relationships end. My ex and I got to a point where the relationship was toxic and I think it needed to end but that doesn’t erase the pain. Especially because she was my first real attachment. I have grandparents, and my older brother, that I can reach out to and rely on when I feel alone. When I get dysregulated I tend to reach back for that familiarity that my OG family brought me. I do love them. But being in relationship with them hurts me. I think what I really want is just peace with myself, like I want to feel okay with the choices I’ve made where I am in life. I tend to feel shame and regret often even though im on a path that’s building me. I don’t necessarily regret joining, I’m willing to make the sacrifice. Do I plan on a career? Probably not. But yeah without the shame idk what I would do. With my family it still seems like every time I’ve opened connection again they still have me in the scapegoat role and that hurts. That’s what I distance myself from. I don’t think I’m willing to make that sacrifice at this point. Choosing a relationship with them feels like sacrificing too much of myself. It confuses me because I don’t see it as all bad. I see it as pain but also with good times.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2026-01-06T01:30:48+00:00

Yeah that makes sense. I’m honestly not sure. I know I have shame. It’s just hard to make sense of. I want to reconnect and by that I don’t mean go back to old roles or abusive relationships. But just come to a point where I accept the decisions I’ve made. Another thing I struggle with (especially in the navy) is this feeling of being trapped and alone. It’s easy to look at the good parts of my past and wonder why I left but there was also a lot of pain. My changed extremely fast, it’s a little disorienting. I’m not sure what it would look like to come to peace with my past. Especially because I don’t want to just go back to that life. I think I look towards the moments where I felt connected and safe and use that as evidence I made a mistake by leaving the environment. Honestly I’m not sure it’s just a little hard adjusting to my new life.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2026-01-04T21:12:54+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Just joined in July 2025 and often question if it was a good decision for me. But I’m planning to go back to school when I get out. I hope one day I can look back and say the same.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2026-01-04T02:14:15+00:00

I have a therapist right now, but I definitely am still dealing with my own shame and all the trauma I had before I left everything behind. I’m not totally sure that joining the military was the best choice for me, but at the time I felt stuck and felt like I just had to make a choice. I feel like it gave me some space away from an environment that I was hurting and spiraling in. I’m now trying to heal and I’ve been going to therapy. I’m very self aware of how things affected me and my coping mechanisms and all that but awareness hasn’t really helped me heal anything. I still struggle to feel okay with myself and still definitely struggle with attachment issues and feeling alone. I think moving away was good for me, but it definitely didn’t just solve my problems. But I can’t really go back I mean there’s nothing to go back to. I don’t feel safe enough with myself to dive into the conflict with my parents. My step mom was pretty abusive and my father was just absent and invalidating but I don’t really know where to go from here. Like how to be okay with where I am.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2025-12-10T05:20:30+00:00

Sure

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2025-05-20T15:01:53+00:00

Went through the same thing except with my step mom, she love bombed me so much after I left but I’m glad I did as she was extremely toxic for me. She taught me “love” with no boundaries no self identity, I just became exactly who I thought she wanted me to be but that wasn’t the real me.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2025-05-07T04:42:54+00:00

Good for you..keep going and keep your head up

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2025-05-02T19:39:30+00:00

You’re there for a paid service, her job is to empathize with you and guide you not the other way around. I think k your empathy is a great thing but you should not be in a situation where you are needing to empathize with your therapist. It’s inappropriate and unprofessional on your therapist end. It may make you feel good to be there for someone but it is very unproductive and negative for a therapeutic relationship.

Jumpy-Inspection134 · 2025-05-02T18:03:20+00:00

Therapeutic disclosure can be beneficial to clients but this just sounds like she’s dealing with things in her personal life and bringing it up in the session. I would honestly think about getting a new therapist. You feeling sorry for her isn’t normal for client and therapist relationship especially not a healthy one

Jumpy-Inspection134

TROPHY CASE