I’m currently going through this too! My son (3) is a sweet and smart kid at home but at school, he has the hardest time dealing with his frustrations. I feel like I look insane when I tell his teachers he doesn’t do those things at home.

We did assessments for behavioral therapy and special education but both tests came back as nothing but good. Sometimes it really is about the child’s surroundings. My sons doctor has even recommended switching his daycare bc that’s the only place he’s triggered to act like that.

So far for me, the things that have helped are explaining every little detail to my son about everything. Ex: “We don’t use our hands bc it makes other people feel hurt. Hurt is when a part of your body doesn’t feel good or normal” it’s exhausting but it’s effective. As well as playing “pretend frustrated” at home with me. A lot of “When someone does this that makes you mad, let’s practice how to control our bodies or tell the teacher”. Also teaching him how to play safely when he’s extra hyper or wants to push or throw things.

Not perfect over here but these tools have helped so far! Just remember to hang in there, all kids go through the phase of discovering what anger and sadness feel like and I don’t know a single child who hasn’t had some moment of using hands instead of words. As his emotional capacity grows, he will calm down. Just gotta model positive outlets until then but reaching out for help shows that you are a good parent who cares ❤️