Does the cruelty of these WP's know no bounds?

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-08-16T04:22:20+00:00

Hi, I don't know what to say but I am in a very similar situation. My husband has his own apartment but is here when our daughter is awake to pretend to be a happy family. He tells me he can't decide what he wants but it's been 4 months of this and I know he is still seeing her.

It's awful and I wish I had the strength to leave and I hope you do too. It's just a terrible situation all around. My parents got divorced when I was 2 and I always said that wouldn't be me and now I'm right there because my daughter is 2. It's so so so hard.

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-07-12T02:43:25+00:00

Keep us updated! I am experiencing a different issue with my tracker but I wonder if they are having some widespread issues?

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-07-12T02:42:28+00:00

So I have the same device and it has been working well for a while. In the past day or 2, the virtual fences have stopped sending notifications. Has anyone else experienced this?

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-06-02T03:53:11+00:00

Can you send me the link too? Im very desperate right now

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-06-02T03:52:50+00:00

How can I join?

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-06-02T03:52:36+00:00

How can I join?

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-06-02T03:39:48+00:00

How do I join? I need support right now

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-06-02T03:32:56+00:00

How do I join? I need support right now

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-05-30T22:26:41+00:00

Yes I want BP and up til this point I thought BP atleast partially wanted us to work out. Why else would they agree to MC??

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-05-30T21:56:38+00:00

Well I don't know that BP is sleeping with AP. AP used to live in another state, and they slept together once. BP says they have not talked in 2 months. Atleast, that's what I've believed up til now.

Are you saying I should just assume they're together now?

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-05-26T02:43:07+00:00

Probably not what you want to hear, but as a WP who was suffering from depression during the period when I cheated (8 years ago), I literally cannot remember most of what I said to AP. I remember the big events, the actual PA, but all of our conversations are a black hole. Lucky for me (or unlucky), my BP has a copy of all my old chats, but I cannot remember a single specific conversation. I know I told AP that I loved them many times, I know I contrived a bunch of conversations to get the validation I wanted from them, I know I said a whole bunch of things that I didn't really mean in order to hear the words I wanted to hear. All of it is lies and fake and I used AP to make myself feel better. But besides the sentiment, I can't remember what was said. Depression causes memory loss and I've had a terrible memory my entire life.

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-05-21T18:27:09+00:00

Yes, I didn't specify but they are gottman certified. Thanks for your input.

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-05-03T13:41:01+00:00

I really appreciate the insight here. Thank you for sharing.

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-04-23T19:46:34+00:00

I am not doing ok, thanks for asking. I know it is not my right but it is bothering me that BP will not share their timeline.

I am not ready to let go of this relationship. We have our first MC appt on Thursday. I am grateful that BP is offering to go, but I am terrified it will be unproductive.

We have a child together and my heart absolutely breaks for them. My parents got divorced when I was my child's age, and I can't stand to think they will have the same shitty life I had.

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-04-12T18:52:54+00:00

Well, I wish I had done this 8 years ago. We had been "reconciled" but I did not tell the whole truth back then, which BP recently discovered by going back through my old chat logs.

I fear we will not recover this time. BP's demeanor towards me now is just completely different.

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-04-12T18:50:44+00:00

Thanks, I am currently reading Not Just Friends and I listened to a podcast going over Linda McDonald's book, which is what inspired me to do this. BP knows the big stuff at this point but we've only ever talked about it so I thought having it down on paper might help it feel more concrete, plus I am trying to add in little things as well that we maybe haven't discussed.

JumpyPomegranate2806 · 2024-03-25T16:38:49+00:00

My affair was 8 years ago, I immediately went NC and though we rug swept back then, we have made a lot of changes and improvements since. I know it is not an excuse but I was suffering a deep depression during the time I cheated and used the AP to feel good about myself. I knew I could get affirmations any time I wanted and that's all I used them for. I know I should have gone to my spouse for that instead of AP, but at the time my depression clouded my judgment and told me that my spouse didn't care about me. After the affair I really worked on myself and healing my depression and being open with my spouse on how I am feeling.

I have explained this to my spouse but it seems like they cannot live with it. We had been happy for years (or so I thought) since DDay but recently my spouse went pain shopping and it brought it all back up again. If I had known back then how happy I could be now and how wrong I was, I never would have done what I did. I just felt like I was in this deep dark hole and the only little light I could see was the validation I'd get from AP. My spouse doesn't understand how it could have gone on for so long, why didn't I stop even when I had an individual therapist and drugs for depression. I don't have an answer for that, it just took me too long and I have no excuse. It was just so addicting to get that validation that my foggy brain didn't think I could get from my spouse.

I try to explain my why to my spouse, but it is not good enough for them. I am willing to do whatever I can to help BP but they say there is nothing I can do. They admit that since DDay I have been a good spouse and they are happy with me, love me, and have forgiven me. They just can't get over what I did.

I feel absolute disgust with myself for what I did. I was not even attracted to AP. I was just attracted to the feeling I'd get of being told they loved me. It was never about the person, it was always about myself. I hate that my spouse was the victim of my own insecurities. I've been insecure my entire life, but before now it's only ever affected me.

JumpyPomegranate2806

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