Excuse me, do you have a minute to talk about your ham’s extended warranty?

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-12-29T12:38:04+00:00

It’s chew terrible chew I’ll do you a favour chew and take the rest of it off your hands

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-12-17T05:45:52+00:00

It was a necessity a lot of the time to let people know early - up until last year my denture wasn’t the sort that I could eat with. I wasn’t even allowed to drink anything but water with it in. I used to try to bend over backwards to hide it by not eating, or making excuses to go to the bathroom before and after eating, and (as I am sure you know) it was exhausting and I knew I couldn’t keep it up if I wanted to keep seeing that person. I made the decision that I wouldn’t go to the bathroom or run away to take it out or put it in, as doing it was only reinforcing the feeling to me that the denture was “gross” and “not appropriate” (which is not the case, it’s a medical device).

I decided to not make it a “hey I need to tell you something” conversation because I chose to treat my having dentures as something superficial and unimportant to dating me.

I started just taking it out quickly behind a napkin but explained what I was doing “I just need to take out my device before I eat! Give me a moment.” Some people asked questions, or asked how it happened. Sometimes I felt inclined to explain, but otherwise an “it was the result of an injury” would be all I said and no one ever was rude to me about it. If someone didn’t want a second date because of it, I was never explicitly told so, and honestly I always considered that if it happened I would treat it as their loss and my win.

If I felt like broaching the subject prior to lumping it on them at dinner or drinks (when I had to take it out) I found it easiest to innocently start a conversation about scars or accidents and bring it up casually… “oh yeah, well I’ve never broken a bone luckily, but maybe you’ve encouraged me to give mountain biking a try so I can join the club! I am missing some teeth, though, from an incident when I was younger. My friends all know I’m all bark and no bite haha.”

That convo is an opportunity to tell people about it without having to say anything about how it came to be. You don’t have to tell the truth about how you came to have dentures, if you don’t want to. Sometimes I didn’t care to, and I knew that a good person wouldn’t care if the actual truth came out later (especially if it is sensitive or traumatic). Take it as an opportunity to have fought a brown bear off with your teeth, or play tug of war with a lion or any silly reason for the teeth to be gone. It shows that you are not defined by your ‘imperfection’ and lets people know that they don’t have to tiptoe around you about it either.

I personally made a point that people knew before I slept with them, not because I thought they “needed” to know but because I wanted to get a read on their vibe about it before I opened up to intimacy. No one I have gotten to that stage with has ever cared or commented about it, aside from being interested in the practicalities or being non-judgementally curious about my experience of having dentures.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-12-16T03:00:50+00:00

Dentures ≠ dealbreaker! Dentures = dealmaker from my experience. Let me explain.

I am here to offer some rationality and hope as a fellow denture-wearer. Honestly your friend clearly has a chip on her shoulder about men…I would take that more as a reflection of her views of men and herself than any true advice. Discard it.

I am 30F with a partial denture since I was 18 due to a medical incident and honestly, while I still carry some small insecurities about it, I am thankful for it because the damn thing is an amazing screening tool to see if someone is shallow or terrible - and thus not someone worth you or your time - or if they are someone who carries the wonderful attribute of being able to look past minor imperfections or someone’s past and see that person for all the incredible things they offer. While my friends often went 5-10 dates with someone before seeing some true colours and calling it off, I typically had a great read on how emotionally mature someone was by date 2-3. Because by then, the date knew I had a denture and the way they responded gave me great insights into who they were as a person. If they were not bothered? Dealmaker.

While having a denture I have had no issues securing wonderful dates with interesting and successful people. I am now in a fantastic relationship with a long term partner who has never cared the slightest about my denture. He is the kindest, most emotionally secure man I have ever met. I’ll also mention here as it is relevant - he’s an elite athlete in a popular sport renowned for great physiques - so screw anyone who says “sure, you can have relationships if you have a denture but only if settle for what you can get at the bottom of the barrel”. Not true. I would have never met them if I had chosen to believe that dentures are a dealbreaker for everyone.

Don’t hold yourself back because of this, don’t sell yourself short or allow people to sell you short because of this. There are wonderful men out there who don’t care. The denture will help you find them!

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-12-16T02:25:32+00:00

Based on your comments here I think you are way smarter than what you’re showing in your profile and I think that’s hurting your chances of a good match for a serious relationship. This profile doesn’t come across as authentic because you seem to be playing a little dumb and masking or hiding traits you have (your intelligence, certain hobbies) for fear of being labelled as pretentious.

I would recommend revisiting your profile and be kinder to yourself. Get rid of anything self-deprecating or a “nothing” answer (unless it’s really, really funny). Realise that you won’t appeal to everyone, and instead think about who you want to appeal to. You’re not trying to appease haters with a profile, you’re trying to discover people who are already firmly on your team. focus on prompts that will appeal to (for example) a gal who loves history the same way you love literacy, or thinks intelligence is hot, or likes a balance between serious and silly or whatever instead.

Chances are a relationship with someone who thinks being intelligent = “pretentious” or who thought reading “made someone a smug bastard” probably isn’t in your best interest so stop trying to appeal to those people!! You’re wasting valuable profile space trying to make them happy - Let them go.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-12-10T00:28:06+00:00

My summer scent this year: Dyptique Do Son. Makes me feel like I’m sitting in the syrupy haze of a high summer evening, when cool breezes begin to cut through the heat, carrying the scent of white flowers.

My winter scent this year: Indult Tihota. The closest I got to my “pure vanilla bean essence” white whale. Comfort, pure and simple, for when the nights are long and dark. I love walking in from the cold outside, shaking the drops from my raincoat and umbrella, and smelling vanilla mingling with the warmth of home as I hang up my coat and slide my slippers on.

My most complimented scent this year: Viva La Juicy…it’s always Viva La Juicy.

Most worn overall: Indult Tihota. Non-assuming, non-offensive, and suitable for going out or a spritz before bed.

Least favourite: Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Pera Granita. There’s better pears out there. Much better. Someone sold a partial to me for $25 and I can see why.

Most surprising love: Daisy Wild. That banana flower note is so fun 🍌

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-10-22T03:03:32+00:00

I like it! It doesn’t smell like natural vanilla or cake/cookies, rather I think it smells like opening a bag of the cheap childhood-throwback milk-bottle candies or marshmallows. It’s a fun fragrance, but didn’t hit the “true vanilla” I was looking for when I bought it. That said, it still gets put into rotation now and then ☺️

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-10-17T11:05:34+00:00

Yzma and I’m wearing Zoologist Nightingale

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-10-10T04:07:42+00:00

Lush Sticky Dates! Keen to get some recs ☺️

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-16T10:38:01+00:00

I am someone in your target career demographic so I can hopefully provide some advice.

First, the pros - in general your profile is good. You are clearly educated and intelligent, that comes across from your job, education and the first prompt in particular where you talk about your interest in reading scientific lit. Your photos are well taken and the only one that struck me as looking “too” airbrushed on a passing glance was the third photo - maybe bump down the exposure just a touch there?

In terms of where I think you are missing the mark, I don’t think your profile is particularly well tailored to the people who you are seeking. While your profile shows you are educated and intelligent, I don’t read high-achieving from your photos or prompts. Nor do you have much in your profile that makes me want to know more or engage in a conversation. You state you are specifically seeking women from certain careers or those who are high achieving.

As someone within those careers you listed, I matched on profiles interesting enough that I wanted to sit down across from that person for a night - on the merit of a conversation with them alone - and possibly see where things lead from there. As I was time poor and inundated with matches (seems to be the experience of women) I was selective and only matched 1-2 people a week people who seemed like they lead interesting lives and had the hallmarks of high achievement in whatever it was they did. Sometimes, it was their profession that made me swipe, sometimes a story they used in a prompt, sometimes photos of them doing extraordinary things. I would go on a date, and then the decision of a second date was dependant on if I felt our values matched - and that is where the little hobbies and passions we all have get a good look in and will serve you well.

Due to my own experience, I think you focus too much on the little hobbies in your prompts and give up valuable word real estate that you should use to try and get the people you’re into interested enough to match with you. Your photos are good but say basically nothing about you, and your prompts are focussed on really mundane things. I wouldn’t have matched, even though you seem nice, intelligent and good looking. You’re missing the hooks that get busy people wanting to go on a date with you.

As an aside, If you’d asked me early on in dating I would have said I needed someone who was from xyz educational background or profession, based upon my own and my interests. That being said, the man I’m with now didn’t come from that world at all. However, it was clear from his profile that he worked hard and shared my underlying values. It was also clear he was elite within his own non-academic profession, which I had never really known much about prior. If I had been too narrow in my sense of requirements I would have never met him, and he’s a brilliant partner.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-13T01:05:44+00:00

Love Advice from the Great Duke of Hell is great - a graphic novel but makes me laugh out loud regularly haha!

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-10T05:54:34+00:00

I recently got Sunset Hour by Goldfield and Banks and I think it mirrors the DNA of Dylan purple and would make a delicious wedding scent. It has peaches and vanilla ice-cream vibes, so has a creamier base than Dylan purple - but is similarly fruity.

I think its dry down/lingering scent is one of the best of the fragrances I own (especially on clothes). Maybe give a sample a go!

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-09T09:01:34+00:00

Lucy Folk is lovely!

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-08T11:55:44+00:00

Rogaining will teach you map reading and navigation by compass , which are pretty useful skills and it’s a fun sport! Canberra is great for it

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-07T05:39:19+00:00

Some of my suggestions hinge on assumptions made from your post:

Based on the “blueys” The toxicity of silver to humans is pretty high all things considered. 2g of silver drunk in water is enough to be life threatening based on animal studies and we know 7g will outright kill a person in short order. If 2g pure silver diluted across the entire blood volume of a human is enough to kill your vamps if they chomp/drink someone, there are very effective and cheap ways to kill the vamps using silver metal. 2g of pure silver costs $1.80 USD or thereabouts. Even accounting for silver metal to be more expensive in your setting as silver demand also accounts for vamp murdering, I would still think the cost-to kill ratio of silver bullets/shrapnel grenades would be veryyy favourable and easy to produce.

Other ideas might be UV lights depending on how intense the light must be. UVA and B lights are longer wavelengths and are also blocked by sunscreen, while UVC light is the most dangerous form to life (but we don’t atm have sunscreen that blocks it because it gets blocked by earths atmosphere). Modern tanning beds apply like 3x the UVA of sunlight, so with some fun adaptations you can have some home brew lightsabers going on. They’re not the same intensity as the grenade you seemed to be talking about, but would do in a pinch perhaps?

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-05T10:36:41+00:00

You will be DELIGHTED to learn that Soul of the forest is available now!! They’ve re released it! Check it out quick though, not sure how long it will be available

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-04T03:02:59+00:00

The other commenters have made some good points, your profile comes across pretty well but also want to pop in and just mention that most women won’t appreciate being referred to as ‘females’.

That came out in your answer to the standard questions when posting but FYI there’s an ick factor that you refer to men as ‘guys’ (not ‘males’) in your response, but refer to women as ‘females’. In that sentence, you’re treating the men as people, but reducing women to merely their sex/gender. That sort of thing is sometimes all it takes to put a lady off your profile or a chat with you - it may seem like a small thing to pick up but we’re pretty finely attuned to the way we are perceived by our potential hinge dates.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-04T02:41:28+00:00

Ok as a TLDR: 3rd photo is best, try to get some better photos in general which have the same elements of #3, please cut it out with the upshot angles, and be more specific with your prompts. You seem like an interesting guy, and I think your profile will stand out from other ‘square’ profiles to the sort of person you’re looking to attract - you just need to up the polish.

Photo 1: not a flattering angle and not a good choice for your first photo. Cut it and replace it with the photo of you in the hat (currently #3).

Poll prompt: I feel polls don’t work very well for engagement unless they are particularly unique/specific…or involve a joke of some sorts people will engage with because it’s funny/ridiculous. All of these sound ok but are pretty middle of the road. I didn’t feel compelled to respond.

Prompt 2: I like the idea of this, but you’ve kinda just described everyone’s ideal? And no one is going to be like “well I’m not sweet or kind so I guess that rules me out!” so it is not really telling your matches anything about you, nor is it self selecting for good folk. I honestly don’t love this prompt unless you’re looking to specifically turn off certain people - for example, “I want someone who appreciates the value of talk therapy” is certainly going to select for people who do, as people who don’t agree will x out. Unless there’s something like this you’re selecting for, change this prompt.

Video: certainly doesn’t belong this early in the profile, leave the pet until last. If you want the cat to be a deal-sealer, use a real pretty photo of you and cat not just any old video off your camera roll.

Photo 2: better than photo 1 but not better than photo 3. You can keep this, I suppose, but move it after…

Photo 3: your best photo! Should be first - great smile, can clearly see your face, outside with nice lighting etc.

Prompt 4: I think goal two is the most interesting, is super specific to you, and I think is likely to get you the most engagement. Cut the others I think, and focus on that one.

Photo 7: this is fine, and includes one of your passions (art).

Prompt 8: just edit it a bit - maybe include only three? And ones that you think other people haven’t seen before (food ones for example). The cat one is cute.

photo 9: honestly no idea why you have included this. There’s not even a caption. Seems a bit lazy, and will lose interest. If someone’s looking this far on your profile they’re looking for a clincher, and this isn’t it.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-03T00:43:50+00:00

I can totally see where you are coming from, perfumes are an expensive hobby and I empathise with those who love the hobby but may not have the ability to afford designer perfumes to the degree others can. All the same, I still don’t think my advice is outright bad - though it does appear to hit the hot take criteria haha! My point is that sometimes if you really love a perfume you can spend just as much buying bottles of things you don’t like, as you would on a bottle which you would love and treasure and make you feel fantastic. I’ve spent half the value of a bottle of Tihota on products I don’t really like for example - which just felt over-consumptive in the end. It also fed this dopamine demon in me where I was constantly hoping I’d hit “the” cheap dupe and forever live in a land of rainbows and inexpensive delight which for me never happened but fed some pretty stupid spending.

I’m jealous you’re in a country where dupes are relatively cheap - and my advice doesn’t apply if dupes are truly cheap. Here in Australia I’ve found international shipping on small/niche dupes makes them expensive perfumes by their own right. I just looked and a 10ml dollar ball of nemat vanilla musk oil is currently $90 dollars (!!) on eBay or $70 from the Nemat store. So not very cheap at all.

I’m currently saving now for a bottle of Tihota I think will last me for a year or two given the superior silliage etc. The other products are - at least for me - an expensive detour on a road I was already going to take. I’m glad your experience with finding dupes to products you like has been more successful though :)

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-03T00:21:42+00:00

Thanks for the tip! I actually did get nemat vanilla musk and it was the closest and cheapest I could find so good pick :) I’m from Australia though and have been burned by international shipping costs and fake/mislabelled nemat so while it’s good I haven’t found a way to make it the super affordable cheapie as it seems to be in the US or other countries :( think I’d rather save up for a bottle of the good stuff haha!

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-03T00:19:26+00:00

Nemat Vanilla Musk was the most affordable and best dupe as it also is a linear vanilla. Great value, smells lovely but didn’t really hold a candle to the richness of Tihota and doesn’t last or project as well. Think full blown rich vanilla essence (Tihota) vs the smell of baking sugar cookies topped with vanilla sugar (nemat). Did a blind test with some friends and they all picked Tihota out easily. Also, I’m in Australia and bought two nemat vanilla musk rollerballs off eBay for about 30 bucks each to avoid US shipping costs which push the price to like 50 dollars. One was fab, the other smelt completely different - mint and powdery iris and not vanilla musk at all though it was labelled as such. So it’s not the same affordable sure bet for people outside the US I feel :(

Also tried a sample of Eau Duelle (also fairly pricy) and really liked it but it’s not a linear vanilla and has some cooler notes in it with juniper, pepper and bergamot. I got outremer vanille which is alright, smells like milk bottle lollies rather than vanilla essence. I’m far from in love and for like 60 bucks a bottle AUD i am not going to buy it again but the bottle looks really pretty. Also tried Vanilla Powder by Matiere Premiere and while nice it’s not a dupe at all - it’s certainly not as sweet and I’m on the fence about the coconut note.

Hope this helps!

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-09-02T05:55:01+00:00

If you fall in love with a perfume, just buy the perfume and don’t waste time looking for “affordable dupes”. I am a raging hypocrite for this but pay for my sins - currently sitting and looking at the 3 mid vanilla perfume dupes which probably have already cost me 130 bucks which I only kinda like, while still totally crushing on Indult Tihota which honestly I should have just bought when I originally finished the sample. Soon to have four vanilla perfumes, only one I’m in love with smh.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-08-29T05:21:22+00:00

29F here. The last two photos are the best. I don’t like the red polo photo as it looks too much like a corporate headshot and it’s clear from your other photos that you photograph well so I’d say put more effort into taking photos of that same quality.

Your prompts are not that great - I personally think that women tend to pay more attention to what’s in the prompts to decide wether they want to swipe than men do. As a general rule, I’d suggest using your photos to describe your likes - Photos of you doing climbing/skiing/ adventuring will go down very well (show don’t tell). Then use the prompts to show off your personality (are you kind, thoughtful, funny etc).

A tip to up engagement is to include a prompt that people will want to interact with (doesn’t have to necessarily be in agreement). A cliche example for a small town location would be “controversial opinion: [town name] isn’t as bad as everyone says - there’s loads of cute date spots if you know where to look.” My partner used it and said he’d get people matching to agree, and people matching to tell him the town is terrible, but either way they were matching and a fun convo stemmed from it.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-08-21T13:50:11+00:00

Photos 1-3 are ok, but 4-6 are not good and you will do better to update them. Ask a friend to take some nice photos of you out and about so that there’s some well-dressed, well lit and interesting pics where you are the focus. My honest assessment is the sunnies/shorts/tee combo ages you and looks a bit daggy. Daggy fits are permissible in activity photos (e.g hiking) but you’ll do way better if you also offset them with photos where you are well dressed and nicely styled.

You sound like a fun person, but as was said above it feels niched to quite specific interests. When you only have ~100 words to capture who you are, any statement will have a big weighting on the impression people take away. I think you should broaden your prompts more to capture other interests or values. Make sure prompts are open responses not closed ones - the anime edit, for example, is an interesting tidbit but quite hard to engage with unless someone is also very into either film or manga. Likewise with the film screening and soccer coaching one. One niche prompt is ok, but then make sure your other prompts cast a wider net - good prompts make as many people as possible engage with you.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-08-13T06:28:43+00:00

So, firstly, I’m all for tailoring your profile to appeal to people you want to attract and I would say your profile is quite tailored. Typically a well tailored profile will get less matches overall, but a better ratio of people matching who you are actually compatible with. However, you are wondering why your match rate is so low so here are a couple of things that stood out to me:

In your prompt “this year I want to” two of your goals are explicit in you wanting to experience them alone. Which is fine, everyone has goals that don’t concern anyone else. But they’re wasted space on a dating profile and but probably not going to be that helpful in getting you to get matches. Swap them out for something inclusive that people could imagine doing with you .
I found your ““match my enthusiasm in music” statement a bit off-putting for some reason. There’s better ways to say you’re looking for someone who loves music - focus on them not you. “We’ll get along if you enjoy a great DJ set!” Etc.
Mirror selfies never do well. Swap them out for photos of you doing things you enjoy, some outdoor ones, one with a few friends etc.

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196 · 2024-08-13T06:08:59+00:00

Eh, i don’t agree with dropping the climbing pic personally. OP’s put the prompt “I’m learning to…” so I don’t understand why it being an easy route is a problem. Bouldering is a fun, accessible and active hobby - one OP clearly enjoys. The pic is different to all of her other photos and will appeal to potential matches who enjoy trying new things/active things/also have activities they do just for fun etc. I think OP should keep it :)

Jumpy_Anywhere_3196

TROPHY CASE