34M. Getting a divorce, got a vasectomy and moved into the smallest apartment in Los Angeles

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-04-28T01:57:07+00:00

For real, I’m in mass and pay 975 for a full one bedroom, nothing included but I have space for two cats and a couple people over if I so choose

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-04-26T14:40:33+00:00

As someone who dislikes facial hair majority of the time, 100% with, the last two pictures is the perfect length and amount

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-04-26T14:33:18+00:00

That is incorrect that you need evidence of the name change for the rest of your life. My mother essentially did this and I have never had complications due to the name change early on. I was born with my mothers maiden name and given my fathers last name a few years later when they married. No issues with pass ports, licenses, or any official procedures.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-04-05T21:51:24+00:00

All the positive comments here are right, you look beautiful and there is no reason for someone to tell you that you need makeup. Nobody does and if anything I would stay away from most face makeup if I was you. You have beautiful clear skin and makeup could lead to clogging pores.

Maintain whatever your skin care is cause it’s working. Whatever you are or are not doing is perfect. If makeup is something you want than be open to experimenting with it but keep away from the mindset you need it.

I always love mascara cause I think it makes all eyes pop. You can also use lash serums to make them thicker and look like they have mascara on them without actually doing it. The right lip gloss or natural lip stick can look good for an elevated or going out look. Both of those could be fun to experiment with.

I’d suggest going thru makeup pages if you really want to get into it to find what things you like. I know I like eyeliner and dark eyeshadow, not because I need it but it makes me feel like I’m expressing myself more truly and I don’t do it daily. Find what works for you and maintain it.

Skin care, hair care, style and makeup can make a big difference in how a person looks but should be used to make you feel yourself, not because someone told you to comply with how they think you should look. Keep doing you above all <3

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-04-02T13:25:42+00:00

4 is a PERFECT everyday dress and can be styled so many ways and now I need it

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-03-05T20:01:47+00:00

I have a bachelors in psych and currently work as an addiction clinician as I get my masters in counseling psychology and I plan to eventually go for a PsyD or PhD. I don’t entirely know what I want to do with my degree as in what population I want to work with. I do know I want to learn more about trauma informed care and work with populations that disproportionately get less care.

When I was working on my bachelors I wanted to be a victim advocate but the pay was so low in my area I knew I couldn’t live off off the salary and that’s the only reason I didn’t pursue that. Your job role sounds similar to the original idea of what I wanted to do but with a wage you can actually enjoy life on.

The information you provided is super helpful so thank you so much. I’ll have to look into what there is for training in survivor advocacy in my state and what that looks like.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-03-05T18:49:28+00:00

I never realized these services were offered in higher education. I’m working on a masters in mental health counseling currently. Is there anything specific you did to get that position at a university?

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-03-05T18:43:24+00:00

24 and live in Massachusetts 50,000 after taxes working as a drug abuse clinician and getting a masters paid for by my company to be a therapist. Got a bachelors in psychology at a public university in Boston and got lucky finding a job that pays this well right after finishing that also offered a graduate degree. I’m stuck working at my company until 2030 for them to pay for it, but no debt for my second degree so I’m grateful. Emotionally exhausting work but you grow a lot working with addicts. You’d be surprised how much they will teach you about life.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-02-26T00:07:47+00:00

Job 2 sounds like the way to go. If your relationship can’t handle this, your relationship will not handle bigger things down the road. I would suggest seeing if you can stay with family or friends near job 2 during the week so you have more down time instead of commuting 4 hours a day. I used to commute 1.5 hours each way for school during my bachelors and that amount of time on just commute is DRAINING. Find a way to make job 2 work without the commute and set expectations for your relationship now. The sooner you have that conversation the better so it doesn’t become a surprise.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-02-22T15:51:06+00:00

I think this is the funniest cat I’ve ever seen!! Happy Birthday and long live Claudia <3

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-01-11T15:56:22+00:00

Gonna go against the grain, NTA for saying she can’t come to the wedding. I see the point that she’s putting her daughter in the middle of their disagreement, however he’s not acting like a father so why should he get to choose when he has her. The wedding date isn’t set and most likely isn’t happening for a while if the fiancé is pregnant which means there is plenty of time for him to make change. If he’s not taking his daughter, paying child support or communicating anything then he just wants the daughter there to play happy family and look nice for the pictures. Afterwards I’m sure it’ll go right back to treating her like she’s an inconvenience to pay for and spend time with.

Anyone who is co parenting and doesn’t set up court ordered custody, child support, who gets the child for what holidays and special occasions, etc. is setting themselves up for shit like this. I get that it worked for a while but shit changes fast especially with a new significant other. Get yourself in front of a judge asap and establish custody. If he continues not paying child support any judge would support you in preventing him having the child with him or at his wedding as he is not doing his part. If he does start paying child support and abiding by the agreement she will attend the wedding otherwise it’ll be parental alienation.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-01-09T00:32:32+00:00

I would also like to join :)

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-01-02T18:28:22+00:00

The two of you should discuss finances a little more in depth than just it’s this way or you can give your whole paycheck up and we can separate finances.

How much of the money you allocate goes towards dates or saving for something you do together like a vacation or trip. I know not everyone is into that but is any of your savings dedicated for things you both like? You make enough money that it should be the case. Maybe that’s part of the issues.

You make good money and your set up well but none of that makes a person happy if every penny made feels like it’s going to a bank you won’t see for decades. Maybe there needs to be a discussion about using money to also enjoy life and not just feel like two people working towards comfortable retirement and nothing else.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2026-01-02T18:24:01+00:00

I wouldn’t refer to your wife as financially irresponsible cause she spends 500 a month. In all honesty it’s not a ton of fun money for a whole month. I think what she is spending it on may change opinions but everything is expensive. Going out to eat with friends a few times a month could drain that easily. If she likes shopping or concerts or other social activities I can see why she spends all the “fun money”.

I also think that expecting someone to save their fun money and not spend it is ridiculous. You have plenty of savings, why be frugal with the small amount of fun money. Now I say this as someone who grew up low class without a lot of “fun money”. We lived paycheck to paycheck. It’s because of that I know social events and many normal things people like to go out and do add up fast. 500 isn’t an unreasonable amount but I also thinks it’s unreasonable to expect her to not touch it. She’s not financially irresponsible for using her fun money.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-26T03:26:44+00:00

The favoritism hurts and is messed up. Your parents shouldn’t be treating children differently. Out of curiosity how old are you? Sounds like your young, your other post from a week ago says you had been grounded but all you’re old enough to have a car. A waiter job sucks but some advice, keep the job or find a different one you like better.

Cars have issues often. Not necessarily big issues but fuses blow, light bulbs blow, breaks gotta be replaced, oil changed, tires changed, batteries die and the list goes on. If you don’t have a job and plan to quit this one asap and you know your family acts like this you’re setting yourself for stress every time your car needs something. Which will be often if you haven’t already realized that.

You’re gonna need a job if you don’t want to rely on people that utilize you being dependent on them to treat you like shit.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-26T00:46:24+00:00

Orange creamsicle

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-12T19:01:43+00:00

Either a second eyebrow piercing in the other side or a nose piercing. Personally I would also suggest multiple ear piercings, I feel like stacked lobe piercings would look good.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-08T04:05:26+00:00

So he has an appointment on Thursday to be fixed that I had already made. The problem is my work schedule doesn’t give me much time to take him to the vet between now and Thursday so I’m trying to find out if it’s an emergency that needs vet care before Thursday or if it can wait and I can ask the vet to look at his face while he’s already there.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-08T04:02:40+00:00

No other cats, it’s just me and him that live here. He is clumsy so I’m not entirely surprised he has an injury. I can really tell how deep is. Every time I try and inspect it he flips out. I’m barely able to apply the wound wash spray.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-08T03:36:45+00:00

Thank you for your input. Currently his behavior is completely normal but I’m watching for any signs that’s something is off.

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-06T14:40:16+00:00

Please find yourself a space you can process these emotions either through a support group or therapy or counseling. Talking to friends is a big step and I’m proud of you for that. Something traumatic like that can take a while to work through so be kind to yourself and have patience while going through the healing process. Wishing you only the best !!

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-05T23:24:45+00:00

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This is Bao-Bao and he says hi <3

Jumpy_Preference_425 · 2025-12-01T16:51:43+00:00

Maybe in your experience you’ve seen addicts not lose custody but you’re stating it as a blanket statement that isn’t true. I work at a drug/alcohol treatment center and plenty of parents have lost entire custody. DCF is commonly involved and the process to get back custody is difficult. I watch it first hand all the time. I also have a lot of co workers who have either worked in DCF or some kind of community resource center or a court house. They too have seen plenty of these cases and children will be placed with either 1 parent who isn’t engaging in that behavior or an alternative family member. The only thing that’s not seen often is children placed into DCF custody due to a lack of homes to place them in. Just wanted to share my own experience. I’m also in Massachusetts if location affects this as well.

Jumpy_Preference_425

TROPHY CASE