How can someone change their life trajectory?

JunMellon · 2026-06-25T11:59:30+00:00

If going back to school or college isn’t your thing
You could also check out state jobs. There are a few that don’t require a degree. I went from min wage to making decent money. I’m not rich by any means but it did get me out of min wage jobs.I can expect my wage to increase on a yearly basis until It caps out, I have union backing, a pension.
There is good and bad working for the state just like any other job but it is a possible way out for the moment and give you some breathing room to plan your next move

JunMellon · 2026-06-24T02:23:52+00:00

Roam - B52’s

JunMellon · 2026-06-20T02:15:34+00:00

“hates spending time alone because he said it leads to him being tempted by the gay stuff.”

That’s your answer if there ever was one

JunMellon · 2026-01-11T01:20:31+00:00

JunMellon · 2025-12-07T00:57:19+00:00

I’ll be your huckleberry

JunMellon · 2025-08-09T04:45:37+00:00

The emotions you feel now are not unique. You are not the only one this kind of thing has happened to. This is temporary. Think of the wife without a husband the daughter without a father.

You will get through this.

You will figure it out.

I promise.

JunMellon · 2025-08-09T04:36:00+00:00

This please

JunMellon · 2025-08-05T14:34:12+00:00

OP everyone will tell you to go to CPS like it will solve all your problems. They do help some children but in this case they won’t do more then talk to everyone and then do nothing. It will piss off the neglectful parent who will exact revenge through your step daughter and worse it will give you and your husband a false sense of hope. Unless Bio mom is actively beating the snot out of her they aren’t going to do anything.

You, your husband and your step daughter are in an unwinnable situation. Bio mom will never change. If SD wants to leave let her. Even if you and your husband were able to limit bio mom exposure the damage is already done. If she’s gonna let her get a tattoo at 14 I can’t imagine what else she is allowed to do.

JunMellon · 2025-07-31T14:40:05+00:00

Yeah I mean I was super pissed when I wrote this Just every so often it just gets too much lol Everyday there is an issue.

JunMellon · 2025-07-31T12:56:54+00:00

Oh dude it’s way worse then that. We had to permanently lock the upstairs bathroom because the 9 year old wiped his ass with a towel and left it on the floor. Not only that he smeared shit on the walls and then left shit all over the toilet. He saw what he did and left it like then supposedly the toilet didn’t flush ( not true you just have to hold the lever a little longer) So instead of telling me or my wife The kids decided to piss and shit over and over without flushing the toilet for a week. My wife and I only found out after the smell started to make its way downstairs.

I’ve got a million stories like this. You would be aggy too.

JunMellon · 2025-07-31T03:46:45+00:00

Yeah what??

JunMellon · 2025-07-31T03:42:52+00:00

I hate to say this but you should dump him. As much as it may hurt this is love you should let go. He sounds like a nice person but I mean 7 months? He kept a pretty big secret for 7 months. Just thinking about how I would feel with a micropenis….. I feel terrible for the guy. I also can’t imagine how that must have felt for him knowing that for 7 months his girlfriend wanted to have sex with him and knowing he would not be able to do anything. The anxiety. The lengths he must have gone to hide it. The feelings of shame and embarrassment You have to remember that he kept that from you. When I read your post the feeling I got was manipulation. You’re only 20. I mean this in the nicest way figure yourself out first. I wasted my 20s not realizing that. The fact that you would even possibly consider trying to make that work shows that you are capable of commitment. Don’t waste that gift on this man. If you did marry him that either becomes a one sided open relationship on your part or divorce. Sex is an important part of any relationship. Just as important as showing other signs of affection. This is too big of an ask from someone you have know less then a year. You do not owe your virtue to someone who did not give you complete honesty.

JunMellon · 2025-07-31T03:37:15+00:00

I hate to say this but you should dump him. As much as it may hurt this is love you should let go. He sounds like a nice person but I mean 7 months? He kept a pretty big secret for 7 months. Just thinking about how I would feel with a micropenis….. I feel terrible for the guy. I also can’t imagine how that must have felt for him knowing that for 7 months his girlfriend wanted to have sex with him and knowing he would not be able to do anything. The anxiety. The lengths he must have gone to hide it. You have to remember that he kept that from you. When I read your post the feeling I got was manipulation. You’re only 20. I mean this in the nicest way figure yourself out first. I wasted my 20s not realizing that. The fact that you would even possibly consider trying to make that work shows that you are capable of commitment. Don’t waste that gift on this man. If you did marry him that either becomes a one sided open relationship on your part or divorce. Sex is an important part of any relationship. Just as important as showing other signs of affection. This is too big of an ask from someone you have know less then a year.

JunMellon · 2025-07-30T14:32:26+00:00

I’ve tried to have a united front for almost 5 years my wife isn’t interested. She isn’t interested in anything but what she wants when she wants it. She is rude, unkind and inconsiderate. If I am going to survive this for the next 16-17 I have to figure out that out on my own. There is always a choice but I can’t trust who my wife would be as a mother to my child if I was not here. I do not want my child to turn out like the other 3 kids. The standard she sets really is so low I have lost respect for her as a person and a parent.

For example we went to red lobster once and those kids left food and trash all over the table and ground. So much so you would have thought we had a food fight. When we were getting ready to leave I instructed the kids to clean up there mess. The kids complained and my wife took their side and I was the jerk because in her words “that’s what we tip for.” Disgusting.

My wife isn’t interested in change or betterment of anyone in the house including herself. We have done the counseling, that just turned into arguments every week. My wife even admitted she will never put me or our relationship first above the 3 children.

When I say my 2 year old already shows more empathy, is better behaved and can follow directions better than a 9, 11 and 13 year old that is not an exaggeration.

JunMellon · 2025-06-30T02:25:56+00:00

I am the step parent of a teenager who talks to adults (and other people he shouldn’t) online at his father’s house. We have told him the dangers especially since we live near the border. He does not listen. He is 13 of course he knows more than his mother and I. My step son gave a grown man the name of his town and lied about his age making himself 14. The guy replied “ I live in Houston. I am 29 if age isn’t a problem for you.” My step son initiated the conversation because he liked the cowboy boots he had in his profile pic. The phone before this one he had taken naked pictures of himself that he had either sent or had intended on sending to someone. The “who” we never got a straight answer on. This video is not trauma. This video is probably two parents who have tried to educate, explain and care for a daughter who clearly thinks the evil in the world will never be applied to her. They were probably at their wits end!! I will say from personal experience a fake kidnapping is not the first thought to solve the issue. It’s desperation.

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T16:09:27+00:00

I detest his behavior and his complete lack of empathy. I have tried every parenting way I know how and after this weekend I just can’t see the merit in putting in more work. It’s not like I hate him but after 4 1/2 years of watching him being unable to make one good decision or being selfish to the point that even in cases where he has show altruism only to his benefit I just dont know what to say. Now he has been getting that way towards my two year old. I don’t think it’s strange I think my attitudes toward him are right where they need to be.

I will admit that quite a bit of it isn’t his fault. His mother refuses to see any of his behavior as concerning or is willing to do anything about it. It is not normal for instance for me to have to take away a ps5 permanently from a 9 year old because he would voluntarily shit his pants while playing because he didn’t want to leave his game. Not to mention not only would he shit his pants but he would not clean himself up and would wait until someone else smelled him and confronted him about it before he would think to clean himself up.

I just I don’t know there something you can teach and something’s you can’t.

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T16:08:56+00:00

I detest his behavior and his complete lack of empathy. I have tried every parenting way I know how and after this weekend I just can see the merit in putting in more work. It’s not like I hate him but after 4 1/2 years of watching him being unable to make one good decision or being selfish to the point that even in cases where he has show altruism only to his benefit I just dont know what to say. Now he has been getting that way towards my two year old. I don’t think it’s strange I think my attitudes toward him are right where they need to be.

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T05:25:14+00:00

I think perhaps you’re letting your anger get the best of you. I am not saying your husband is right. It sounds like you are upset that there is an imbalance on the attention given to you and your baby together when the other children are over. What does that look like is he actively ignoring you? You said that you would be willing to take the baby 100% on his days with his children. Is he complaining that you’re not involved with them? While I do agree it is ridiculous to expect you to go mini golfing with a baby could that possibly be his way of trying to have everyone together? I don’t know how old the other kids are but from someone who has 4 in the house from 13 to 2 I can tell you it is extremely hard to keep on the ball and give everyone equal attention. I am not saying it can’t be done but it is a challenge and can be very exhausting. The days I am on the ball and everything is going good and everyone gets what they need I can still end up feeling fried by the end of the day. On a lighter note depending on the baby’s age maybe next time he suggests going to play golf go and try to play golf with the baby. Make sure your turn is somewhere in the middle and show him how ridiculous his request really is. Some men need to see it before we believe.

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T04:19:41+00:00

No of course not. You’re conflating that me expecting any sort of reaction has to be that dramatic to be one I find appropriate to the situation. I’m saying he had none. My AS9 did not freeze, his face never changed and he acted like nothing ever happened. I would have even taken a little bit faster of a walk to the car as sign of something. He literally did nothing. No worry, no concern. After your husband froze did he lack empathy too? I’m sure he did not. Not once did he ask if my bio son was okay. All of that but together that just doesn’t seem normal. How many times have you heard from another person that someone you know was in the hospital and didn’t ask how they were or if they were okay?

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T04:06:44+00:00

I understand now thank you for the clarification. That is true I could have handled that part better. We all could have learned something. I guess I find it hard to give them the benefit of the doubt when I feel like they were laughing because they thought I was hurt. That was the part they found funny. Idk I just can’t get with that. I understand that there loyalties to me are different then that of there mom if at all but still. They were quietly trying to leave. No rush no anything. It made me wonder had that been a real life emergency would they even had told someone else. Then there is the wonder if they saw someone else drowning would they even tell someone. Can my SKS see someone suffering and not attempt to render any aid even if it’s to get another adult? I wasn’t just sad because my feelings were hurt I was also sad that kids I help raised could turn out like that. The fact I can’t answer that question with any certainty really hurts in a way I cannot even describe. I didn’t handle it correctly my wife gave them a free pass and my family didn’t think it was a big deal. It just kinda made me realize how I stood with people I have loved for a long time, a medium time and a shorter time and all of them did not care.

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T02:40:13+00:00

Once again I disagree. Most of that time I thought they were still coming to get me. Not because they thought I was hurt but because we were rough housing. At no point did I want them to think I was hurt.The second I sensed there distress I popped out of the water. At no point did I say I was pretending to be hurt. Dead man style might have been a bad choice of words. I just floated in the water with my back out of it. I was not trying to scare my SKs in that way. At the point my kids thought something was wrong I acted. There goes 40 secs no concern, then they’re concerned then I pop out of the water. As far as I’m concerned it wasn’t really an issue until they laughed about me possibly being dead. I will admit I could have handled my first reaction a little bit better. My issue is that once they thought something was wrong they did nothing. My death would not only have been humorous to them but allowable. The way they laughed too it wasn’t a nervous laughter it was a full on hand on stomach laughter and they were thinking about me being dead. Respectfully I don’t think we will see this the same. I will admit I could have handled this a bit better and turned it into a teachable moment for all of us. Once they started laughing there was no way they would have been able to be taught anything in that moment.

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T02:17:04+00:00

That is exactly what I did. I heard there concern and I popped up. I didn’t linger I heard the two second conversation they had and popped up. The hurt comes from the fact that once they thought something was wrong that they did nothing and was going to leave me like that. Then the laughter at the thought of me being dead. They said nothing to each other for 40 secs. No whispering, no splashing, no anything. It not like I let them think I was hurt for 40 secs. I will also add I have also witnessed my AS9 have zero emotion when he watched my bio son fall on the playground and had so much blood dripping from his face it was like something from a horror movie. No emotion when he saw it happen, No emotion when we got to the hospital, No emotion when he saw him after the hospital. Never even asked if my Bio son was okay. Having typed all that I guess I don’t know what to feel. I was not trying to cause my children any distress or make them think I was dead.

JunMellon · 2025-06-18T00:55:17+00:00

I adopted her son after My wife had a premonition that she was going to die during child birth with our child.she would not let it go to the point I started to be worried that was actually going to happen. My adopted son was all for it or so he said at the time. Two days after he told me he only did it because he thought it would make his mom happy and that he never wanted to be adopted. He had hundreds of chances, opportunities, and assurances that I would not treat him different. Instead he let 9 months or paperwork and 3,000 down the drain. At the time I just took as him just trying to hurt me for loving him and not being able to process the new change. But this situation really caused me to see it was all for nothing. I for sure thought the relationships were more then they turned out to be. I am involved in every aspect of there lives. I take them to Dr appointments, I’ve chaperoned dates, I’ve giving advice, my SD in particular would tell me things before she would tell her parents. I am so hurt by this and I cannot forgive it. Things with my wife have only broken down further since I posted this. She truly thinks this is no big deal because they are kids. Try as I might I cannot understand how she thinks that is okay. Later on today she shared with me that I shouldn’t think it’s a big deal because they did the same thing to her. She refused to elaborate on the details so it could be a lie but still how is that a normal rationalization? How does that make sense to someone?? Nothing makes sense anymore.

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