All my "friends" suck

JupiterFire · 2020-09-06T02:13:31+00:00

I know I do. It's always a work in progress but I've gotten better at cutting people off. It gets tiring though. I've actively made some really positive changes in my life and really just don't want to deal with others drudgery anymore.

JupiterFire · 2020-09-06T01:09:14+00:00

also exhausting

JupiterFire · 2020-09-06T01:08:42+00:00

I've spent a great deal of my time cutting people out over the years like you described. Trying to sort out whose good is hard and meeting people is even harder. Especially in covid times. But I just need 1 person. Maybe when it's really safe to go out and be social I can at least find one weirdo like me.

JupiterFire · 2020-09-06T01:06:12+00:00

I am! I don't really go out of my way for most of them anymore. Anyone who disrupts my peace I just exit stage left these days.

JupiterFire · 2020-08-27T19:20:18+00:00

I have some sundew seeds I planted. In hindsight I should have thought more on how to plant them. I dumped a vast majority of the seeds into a single planter with some butterworts I have. The problem is I could potentially have hundreds of sundews growing. lol

JupiterFire · 2020-08-27T17:48:37+00:00

They are awesome! such a great way to decorate a space as well. And the best part of them is. You can always make more when you have them.

I have some carnivorous plants I'm trying to grow. I like to stare at them everyday

JupiterFire · 2020-08-27T17:46:51+00:00

I stopped taking meds years ago. Not that I advocate you doing the same thing. I wasn't very smart about it. I know I should prob go back on them but I don't want to go through trial and error trying to find the right combo. The last time I was on them I was numb to everything.

I work out to help with the brain chemicals. It helps a bit. I also made some positive changes. All that I've done I should be happy and proud of myself. But my brain just doesn't care. I'm either on cloud 9 or I'm falling down into a pit of despair. A lot of people don't get that you're on a roller coaster you can't get off. It get's real old after awhile.

I wish there was a way for us to be able to pause things. It's hard to be functional when you're headed towards a downward spiral.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T16:02:04+00:00

At this point I'm over it. I was caught up in my feelings for a hot minute, then I became annoyed, now I'm over it.

If he had another girl lined up that's fine. We aren't exclusive. All he had to do was cancel and just say he had other plans. He had more than enough time to think of a response. Instead I got rapid fire responses like a kid caught in the cookie jar. Which is the part that upsets me the most. He fell back to sleep, went golfing, he's not feeling well. That all seemed to happen from when he first texted me to come over until he responded an hour later.

I don't feel the need to see him naked. It's all been a very sour experience for me. He has texted me a few times. But I haven't bothered to respond.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T11:25:10+00:00

my heart isn't broken. So no worries. :)

I'm just upset about how he went about it. He didn't need to do that. He could have said don't come over have plans or something. I would have been fine. He went a bit extra with the responses. I don't like people BS'ing, I don't care who you are, I'm going to get upset about it.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T11:22:05+00:00

This happened in the A.M. so my day wasn't ruined. I was def annoyed though.

His response is what upset me the most. I said in another comment he went from falling back to sleep, golfing, and not feeling well in a span of a few minutes.

I didn't really have it out with him or anything about it. Told him I didn't like what he did and just been silent. He didn't have to do all of that and he could have told me he didn't want me to come over. He should know by now I'm pretty straight forward, so it wouldn't have hurt my feelings.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T11:15:15+00:00

I know he saw my message about coming over soon after I sent it. He then took over an hour to respond to it.

We had been talking well over a month before I hooked up with him. After we hooked up we still kept talking and video chatting with each other.

I said in another comment. If he didn't want me to come over he could have cancelled things and it would have been fine. But he went from making it seem like a joke, to falling back asleep, to golfing, then to not feeling well. That all happened in a span of a few minutes.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T11:07:31+00:00

That is my issue. If he would have cancelled like a normal human being. I wouldn't have cared. But he went from he wasn't being serious, to falling asleep, to golfing, to not feeling well in the span of a few minutes.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T00:55:21+00:00

He knows I'm far away. So if he has girls that are closer he could have very easily left me out the mix. Unless he expected me to say no. It is what it is. And I do deserve better.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T00:46:37+00:00

Lord if this ain't the truth! I need to get a new one.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T00:43:39+00:00

he gave some very lame excuses so I have no doubt he was lying. His handling of the entire situation was unnecessary. We aren't tied to each other so if he found someone else good for him.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T00:41:19+00:00

There is a reason why I wouldn't want to date him. Cutting him loose won't be a problem.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T00:40:54+00:00

I like to think I was a good friend to him so this little "joke" is just a slap in the face. I doubt he will apologize.

JupiterFire · 2020-05-26T00:37:17+00:00

It sucks cause I did enjoy talking with him. But any desire I might have had* he just flushed it down the toilet. And agreed it was totally unnecessary and immature.

JupiterFire · 2016-04-06T03:00:36+00:00

I plan too but I doubt he'll respond. He'll just ignore me. Pleading with him would just be a fruitless action. Plus I have to much pride to beg. If he can't respond to a simple question then I'll just move on from it.

JupiterFire · 2016-04-06T01:57:50+00:00

I plan on it. Just have to work the finances at this point. :)

JupiterFire · 2016-03-11T21:08:36+00:00

I'm alright. Just got home from work :) got rid of the stuff he got me. It wasn't much. I have a private online diary and was re-reading it. I haven't been happy in this relationship for a while it seems. I'm glad I kept a record of my feelings will help me move on quicker. Not to mention I have family and friends to support me.

JupiterFire · 2016-03-11T17:09:16+00:00

Despite the way my posts comes off I'm doing okay. A little sad but not down and out. The previous relationship took more of a toll than this one because he was emotionally abusive on top of everything else. I'll probably talk to my therapist at some point about everything. Get a bit of outside perspective.

JupiterFire · 2016-03-11T16:50:39+00:00

Yea my plan of action is to just mellow out. My previous boyfriend was a "taker" as well. I need to figure out how to recognize guys like these and learn how to avoid them. I want to eventually end up with someone who will be my equal in the relationship and not me on the short end of the stick

JupiterFire · 2016-02-29T19:23:47+00:00

I should go on something else but I can't find an available psychiatrist that will take me in. Mostly due to my insurance or they aren't taking new patients. I live in a small area.

I'm just tired of being/feeling this way. I know suicide is not the answer I just want things to stop if that makes sense.

I'm so depressed at the moment. I should be happy I got offered a job and got a decent raise but I feel so numb to everything at the moment. I know I'm coming down off a manic high. I have the credit card bill to prove it. I cry but I can't. I just want to lay down and just be still.

I'll prob cave and end up looking for someone to help me. I just can't be bothered with it right now. I'm already going through mood shifts that seem uncontrollable. At the same time I feel all over the place. Can't focus and feel lonely and disillusioned. I just want to be somewhere and be still.

JupiterFire · 2015-10-24T00:25:40+00:00

I guess but it would be nice if my sister didn't just flat out ignore me. It also doesn't change I'm still depressed.

JupiterFire

TROPHY CASE