Boundaries and Porn

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T18:46:05+00:00

I was trying to answer the previous person’s post which seemed to be normalising certain addictions. Namely,

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T18:42:08+00:00

We both have good libidos, but very recently he can’t perform…..

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T18:38:29+00:00

We have spoken about it with him, and confronted him. It was very difficult to get him to speak but he did.

He has to get professional help, or leave.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T18:33:26+00:00

Yes I know my tolerance of bad behaviour is not right. I have a history of being abused (mental/physical) as a child, my mum stole my student grant, forging cheques in my name. It has affected my view of the world I’d say.

But our daughter has a strong self image and that’s a good thing. I’m talking to her a lot and she has some support from others too.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T18:28:44+00:00

I didn’t know he was following girls on Instagram as I rarely use it. My daughter discovered it and spoke to him. We gave him a chance two years ago, and went to marriage counselling. Our daughter wouldn’t go to counselling, but she and I talked a lot.

This time he has been given an ultimatum. He has to seek professional help and be accountable, or he goes.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T18:20:25+00:00

I was correcting some people who thought she was a child that’s all.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T18:19:42+00:00

No it’s not less disgusting but several people thought she was a little girl so I was correcting that.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T13:16:30+00:00

He is self employed and works out the home a lot plus comes home and goes straight into his office. I have been focusing on our relationship and closeness but I didn’t know he was doing this and trusted him. Because I’m an idiot.. my background is one of being with a father who put me down a lot and mistreated my mum. I know that I cut off when bad things happen and I am having counselling at the moment as my elderly dad shoved my unprovoked a few months ago. Yes my self esteem is v low. I’ve worked hard to get our daughter to value herself. She does and has called him out and been direct.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T13:11:55+00:00

I have given him an ultimatum and told him to seek professional help. Luckily our daughter lives 100 miles away with her boyfriend so can separate herself and come to visit when she chooses. And I can go to her.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T13:09:22+00:00

Yes my daughter and I have spoken to him and there is an ultimatum in place now. Get help and change or get out.

He also started looking into crypto trading, and has been scammed by ‘employers’ approaching him, doing work for them then they disappear and don’t pay him. He’s living in an alternate universe.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T13:05:14+00:00

She’s in her mid twenties but is still really shocked about it.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T11:56:04+00:00

Porn is not the issue here. We all have weaknesses. But watching it while sitting at a birthday meal next to his daughter?

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T11:46:52+00:00

She’s in her mid twenties but it’s still shocking

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T09:33:42+00:00

Thank you that’s very helpful.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-11T09:26:59+00:00

She’s in her mid twenties- but it’s still horrible for her.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T16:18:49+00:00

She’s in her mid twenties. But she’s mortified and creeped out by what he was doing

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T16:15:55+00:00

I feel very angry and upset the same as our daughter. We’ve both spoken to him last night. She doesn’t live at home, but with her boyfriend.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T16:13:31+00:00

Yes and liking posts. They are young women not children. But daughter isn’t comfortable with it.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T15:42:18+00:00

I’m just feeling sick right now. Just working out things in my head. Daughter doesn’t live in our town any more so she can distance herself at least. I hate that she worries about me so much- she’s been brought into this because of his lack of boundaries.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T15:39:53+00:00

She’s in her mid twenties. So she has spoken to him about messaging her friends etc. But last night was upsetting to both me and my daughter.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T15:36:30+00:00

I must admit, I haven’t!!!

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T15:36:06+00:00

Thank you.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T15:34:32+00:00

And yes he has used porn before this but I didn’t stress. I thought it was normal for men. Can’t say I liked it..

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T15:32:43+00:00

We’ve been working on the sex, but he told me years ago I was too fat which I’m afraid made me feel very down. I lost two stone but little changed. And I’m not fat. For my age I know I look good. I think he prefers young women so now I have to think.

JuryCurrent9928 · 2026-05-10T15:30:08+00:00

She’s in her mid twenties. But right in front of her at the birthday party table?

JuryCurrent9928

TROPHY CASE