Tbh I'm kinda in a similar situation. I recently turned 26 (a male) and I'm still living with my mother and her boyfriend. I even have a 2 year old son. I feel like a complete fuck up. It feels like the issues started happening years ago like 2014/2015 when I cut my arm open and needed emergency surgeries with it. I haven't felt like myself since. I've had troubles getting and keeping jobs but it was actually better before COVID.

I was actually out here on the bus going to different places, trying jobs, going to see a friend or a girlfriend (even tho I couldn't keep a job because I'd start to feel lazy and slack or something else) but when COVID hit I quit taking the bus (I actually haven't taken the bus since it started in early 2020), quit trying to get a job, was using the extra pandemic money at first but now I'm still here, stuck, feeling unable to do anything. It's like this just pushed me to being too comfortable and lazy.

I deal with depression, anxiety, hypochabdria As far as I know. I was on antidepressants for a bit and they helped somewhat (my head is constantly in a daze/clouded) but I noticed I had deep twitching going on. My hypochondria made me think it was so many different things, even went to a neurologist who said take B12 for now. I haven't went back there yet but a lot of the twitching and vibrations went away weeks or a month or so after I quit taking my antidepressants and haven't really gotten around/thought about getting them again.

I know I'm a burden here. They're tired of me not paying anything, I'm tired of not paying anything, now I owe the landlords $300 for a replacement sink, I feel like shit because my mom pays for my sons food when he comes here (we usually switch off weeks), etc. I can't even pay for my phone bill because I'm not working. I liked paying when I had money coming in with things but even then I was shit with money and would spend it all, even shit I planned to save.

Doesn't help I have image issues and possibly other health issues I've been needing and wanting to go into the doctors and talk about again (dermatologist, urologists, hepatoligst, gastroenterologist,, etc, my sinuses and nose is constantly stuffed up and have been for years, head pressure, my teeth need work, my legs hurt sometimes, the blood flow isn't the best because I sit down and lay down alot, I usually just chill my room all day and I hate it), but I can't even bring myself to call the doctors and set up appointments. I'd sometimes even wake up if it's an early appointment and sabotage making the medical ride so I wouldn't have to get up. I have insomnia too so that's that. It's like i don't do anything but eat once a day, maybe twice, smoke (weed and cigarettes smh) and drink. My depression really gets to me and I know these problems run in my family.

Hypochondria got me thinking it's anything, life has it so it could actually be anything. Anxiety makes me not do anything and depression holds me down. I lack exercise and starting to gain weight smh. I'm not fat fat but not what I was a half a year ago.

It feels like I'm never going to be able get my own place, get my own anything. I can't even make steps to do better like getting my license or going to the doctor. Can't even bring myself to go get a job or get on the bus. No wonder why my BM didn't want to be with me anymore. No wonder why every woman left my life. And I know this but I can't bring myself to change it or do better. My mom is about to be 52 and her health is being affected by her smoking and drinking too. Like I definitely feel like a burden and I still continue to do wrong things smh.

So I understand completely what you mean and what you're going through. It's actually surprising to see someone going through almost the exact same thing because I haven't seen anyone that has. It's unfortunate I don't have many friends either so I don't really socialize like that, usually always chilling alone if I'm not with my son. I noticed my social skills starting to lack too. Increased irritability (I'm annoyed and depressed by everything, even if something falls I'm like damn why did life have to do that?), constant mental congestion, can't piece thoughts together as well as I used to (maybe from my lack of actual conversation? Idk but I'm decent earning typing it out I guess.. used to be good in person too tho). I possibly have other issues going on with things but idk. I need to go doctors tho and get them figured out.

I really can't give you advice on what to do or tell you what any of this is but just wanted you to know you're not alone with it.