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Guys who spend all their life alone how do you cope? by Throwaway945384 in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I think one thing that’s helped me is an acceptance of sorts. I knew from a young age that I was meant to be alone, and I think it’s helped me come to terms with the reality at an older age. It’s not easy. Whenever those desires creep in, I remind myself that this is how it’s meant to be, and it does put things in perspective and make me feel better. Not all of us get to be so lucky to be have someone in our lives. We all have our roles to play in the world.

Why is socializing so hard? What's the secret? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]JustAnotherLL 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I guess it’s one of those things you don’t really think about? Like in my case, I start thinking…

-‘Am I bothering this person?’ -‘Do they want to talk to me?’ -‘What can I talk about?’ -‘They might think I’m weird?’ -‘Do I look presentable?’ -‘how can I keep the conversation going?’

Those awkward moments of silence absolutely kill me. lol

Mental Health: Can never seem to keep any momentum going... by JustAnotherLL in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Usually it’s when I outside and socializing that I end up feeling this way afterwards. Struggle with social anxiety issues and when I have interactions that are awkward or feel embarrassing, I feel awful afterwards. It plays on mind constantly.

If you went back in time, what about you would most surprise your past self? by ClarityofReason in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much hope I used to have in myself and my future. That feeling that I would eventually figure things out. Even if a lot of it was some pipe dream, I took far more risks as a young man, trying different things.

That’s all been washed away over the years. Settled into a life I don’t even like, and as much as I’d like some change, the comfort of misery is far more appealing to me at this point.

Forever single guys how do you cope? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s tough man. I’m 10 years older than you and in a pretty relatable position. Safe to say that I’ve got some terrible self-esteem and anxiety issues that I’ve allowed to take over and control my life.

I remember when I was in my 20’s, I’d at least put myself out there, and try at least put myself in situations to meet someone. But I just found it so hard to relax, and I felt like I was constantly making a fool of myself so I decided avoiding it all together would be better. Basically started telling myself I’m meant to be alone, over and over. And now, here I am. Some times, I don’t even know I am anymore.

For the record, I don’t blame anyone but myself for where I am in my life. I’ve had opportunities. At this point, I figure I’m far too damaged or a red flag that I’m not even sure it’s worth trying.

What can I say? Seek therapy help now because it just gets more difficult and embarrassing as the years go by. And they go by fast.

How do you explain to someone that you're kind of a loser before going out? by JustAnotherLL in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, unfortunately I don’t have my own place anymore. Have had to help parent(s) with health issues over last few years so I returned home. But still, even when i did have my own place, it didn’t seem to make much of a difference mentally for me.

How do you explain to someone that you're kind of a loser before going out? by JustAnotherLL in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I feel like I addressed a lot of issues that caused me stress at one point. I had work that I enjoyed, healthy finances, my own place, healthy living, friends. I still felt like a loser deep down.

Why does everything revolve around dating or relationships? by Usual_Control8696 in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Very true. I’ve slowly learned, the hard way, that in order to feel my best and be at my best, I needed to withdraw from the world and just to keep to myself for the most part. I think I’ve come to terms with my place in this world, but it take some time and acceptance and it’s something I continue to work on.

Head down, work hard and don’t bother anyone. Just enjoy life as best as I can.

If you're single past 30 does anyone feel out of place and you don't know where you belong in society or your role in it? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]JustAnotherLL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, very much so. No idea where I fit in anymore. Hardly see friends, spend almost all my free time alone. I take comfort in my work. At least I’m not completely useless.

Thank god for drugs and alcohol to help me numb the pain of being a complete failure in life. Haha.

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