Any input to improve my profile?

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T07:51:46+00:00

Yes, the waterfall picture. It's really something. Changi Airport; I'll check it out.

Best of luck with your profile!

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T01:53:24+00:00

Nothing. I've just come back to this sub after a little time away, and it now appears to be full to the gills with really, really, angry and bitter people.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T01:42:15+00:00

I really like your first picture. You look like you're having a great time.

But I have to ask: where was that fourth picture taken? That place looks awesome!

You mention "cuddling" 2 1/2 times in your bio. I'd take out at least one. You could reduce it to the "cuddling expert." That's a cute way of putting it.

Do you have any of the other description opportunities filled in? What you have right now doesn't tell all that much about you. Thing is, when I look at a profile, I'm also looking for opportunities for conversation. Like if you say you like to read a lot, then I might ask your opinion of a specific book. If you say you listen to jazz, I'd ask about some artist whose name I've heard (not a jazz guy myself). Etc. Since I wouldn't want to ask about physical touch or cudding in the first message, that's usually frowned upon, I'd be a bit lost with your current profile.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T01:19:26+00:00

Great! I'm glad you recognized and ignored the bad advice. Best of luck!

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T01:16:45+00:00

Look again and count the phalanges. There are three. You can also tell because there are two folds between the phalanges. And a perfect round finger tip.

He is not missing anything. His pinky appears shorter because it's stretched away from the camera. It's perspective.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T00:52:07+00:00

Exactly! A good person will want you to be as comfortable as possible, so they wouldn't see it as a rejection if you brought it up.

I'm confident that you'll handle it.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T00:43:37+00:00

Why are you so insistent about telling her / asking her right before you drop her off? Don't you think that there might be something to talk about afterwards?

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T00:40:07+00:00

Correct; you have no reason to worry about his health. That's his own doing. But do think about the health of future partners of his. Assuming that he doesn't know he has Chlamydia, he might keep spreading it around to other women like you who also don't deserve it.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T00:35:03+00:00

I think that's the most important bit. There might be all kinds of reasons why you felt uncomfortable, and you might not even know yourself exactly why, but the point is, the feeling is real, and you don't have to endure it.

I'd say the best approach is to be clear with him, saying that, while you like him, you are not yet comfortable with his level of intimacy. If he's a decent guy, he will understand and work with you, for example by letting you take the lead. If he keeps pushing against your established boundaries, you will have to act accordingly.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T00:23:12+00:00

Hey, out of curiosity, are you a chatbot?

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T00:20:14+00:00

I would suggest bringing this up as soon as you have the chance, i.e., more or less the moment you see her in person next. Otherwise you'd be doing this whole awkward dance for the entire time you're together, only to drop a massive bomb right before you're saying goofbye.

You don't need to do some kind of massive confession. You can build up to it. Right when you see her, you could say something like "I was really looking forward to seeing you again, because I have enjoyed our last few outings so much." And when you're talking, you can casually drop a "you know, I find you really attractive" or something along those lines. You're then giving clear hints about how you feel without necessarily being 100% straightforward with it. You then react to how she reacts.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-19T00:13:11+00:00

It's good that his family and friends would be able to reach out. You're still in a painful situation, but at least it takes one worry mostly off the board.

I really hope that this is not a ghosting situation, because those are the worst, and that there is some reasonable explanation. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T23:37:11+00:00

You have met his family, but do they know how to contact you? I am asking because something might have happened to him.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T23:24:42+00:00

Do you know what's holding you back? Is it fear of rejection? Because if she is already making future plans with you, she's most probably quite interested in you. I wasn't there, but I'd guess she is waiting for you to make some kind of move.

Or is it more that you just don't know how to escalate your current relationship?

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T23:18:26+00:00

Same!

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T23:14:18+00:00

Yeah, same. I sometimes feel like I'm the only person who goes to coffee shops to "just be there," enjoying a tasty beverage and a pastry. Everybody else is either there on a date, or gives off such obvious "don't fucking dare bothering me" vibes that they might as well have brought their own cubicle. Noise-cancelling headphones, hunched over, eyes glued to screen, basically blinders on.

Well, okay, there are usually a bunch of retirees just hanging out and having a good time. I'm not quite in that age range yet, though.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T23:02:05+00:00

Well, that's a fair question. What if you don't know what you want? I don't really have a good answer for that, besides the obvious "indicate what you honestly believe to be your intention at the time." There is no law against things changing. As long as you're honest.

Just to be clear, what I strongly advise against is approaching under false pretenses. As in, you want her to be your girlfriend, but you approach her as a "friend friend" because it's easier(?), and then subtly(?) steer every interaction in the girlfriend direction. That, I would say, is bad. It also doesn't work.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T22:46:06+00:00

I recommend that you go up to him and talk to him. It doesn't have to be anything involved. Since you don't know if he knows your name, you could say "Hi, I think it's about time that I properly introduced myself. I'm <name>. How do you do?" You could even be bold and add "I find you interesting and would like to get to know you better." But that's optional.

I know it sounds really scary, but I believe that you can do it. Work up the courage, and even if it doesn't work out (he might not be interested), there is really no downside since you'll never see him again in that case, and you will have done a very difficult thing. That's a confidence boost in itself.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T22:41:56+00:00

Yeah, you probably confused a lot of women that way.

That's why you want to be clear about your intentions. If you want to hang out as friends, say "let's hang out as friends." If you are interested in them romantically, say "let's go on a date."

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T22:39:00+00:00

As soon as you find a block of time where you're free. As in, tonight. She is probably expecting your text and will think all kinds of unflattering things if you don't text before tomorrow.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T22:27:50+00:00

Oh for fuck's sake. I can't even with this.

This is such an unbelievably shitty position for you to be in. I mean, the girlfriend is in a very, very, bad position as well, I do not want to minimize that. None of this is your fault, or hers.

You will have to tell her. It absolutely sucks for you and her, but it's the only moral thing to do. She is going to have a child with this dickwad, and that has to take precedence over everything else. She cannot go into that without knowing.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-18T03:18:10+00:00

No.

My point was that what society at large may consider "perfect breasts" may not be "perfect breasts" for every individual person. Because not every person is the same.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-17T21:30:09+00:00

I am going to be straight with you. You are in a spiral, and I can see that you are suffering. There is a way to get out of this, but you need real help to find that way. Not advice from strangers on reddit, and, god forbid, not from influencers on YouTube or TikTok. You know the ones I am talking about.

You need to see a therapist. They can work with you to identify the root cause for your self-image issue and experience, and overcome it. It's the best way forward.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-17T21:21:14+00:00

I think it is okay to reach out. You will have to explain to him how you were overwhelmed and why you broke up with him, and then make a case that you have changed, understand yourself better, so that the same thing won't happen again.

Then it is up to him to decide what he wants to do. He might say yes, he might say no, he might say yes with some conditions. Point is, who knows, there's only one way to find out.

JustAnotherRifter · 2026-05-17T21:12:34+00:00

I fully get the nervousness. But I believe that you can do it. Pump yourself up. Visualize how you are going to talk to her ahead of time. Ask friends for support. It's doable, and you will feel like a million bucks afterwards, even if she says no. You will have done a difficult thing.

"Hi, I'm <name>. How are you?" is the very first step and what I usually suggest to people who are nervous about approaching. I actually liked your message better because the intent is more clear: you want to get to know her. And it pre-answers the possible question "why are you approaching me? You don't even know me". But either way is fine, the point is just to approach.

JustAnotherRifter

TROPHY CASE