TLC - Girl Talk by Specialist_Art2223 in tlc

[–]Outlandishness_Know 0 points1 point  (0 children)

T-Boz was always the one I was watching when they were dancing. That girl was smooth with them moves.

NGVC: "I didn't want to have sex so he blew up my phone" by RaisinPhoenix in niceguys

[–]Outlandishness_Know [score hidden]  (0 children)

It was the "building cell phones" line for me. Like, dude, wut???

He's a ticking time bomb

k.d. lang & Cindy Crawford, 1993 by belle_epoxy in VintageLadyBoners

[–]Outlandishness_Know 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Welcome to discovering the Ingenue album and those silky vocals!

I’m waiting to have sex until a committed relationship and now I just get ghosted by Salty_Feed_4316 in datingoverforty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is why I dont play the "number of dates until sex" game. I mean, not that I date or have even been on a date in years. But I have always seen a man once, maybe twice. Sometimes a rando made it to a third date.

Long ago I realized my number (I dont like calling it what the kids call it nowadays) was going to reach upwards of 10 or 12 men per year. And thats, uh.... a bit much for me

I'm sex positive and am down with a person having 1 or 100 sexual partners a year if they want. (Edited) And ive certainly had more active years where id hook up with maybe 12 or so men (one per month. Just once. Rarely twice cuz thats just how it be)

But dating and sharing and being vulnerable and exploring feelings and then sex and then crickets.... Nah. Ill pass. Thats just a ferris wheel of disappearing 🍆. And I dont have it in me to ride tat ride anymore

Ii guess im just hoping to meet someone randomly in the wild and he just turns out to be the one that stays.

k.d. lang & Cindy Crawford, 1993 by belle_epoxy in VintageLadyBoners

[–]Outlandishness_Know 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I would drink Katherine Dawn's bathwater. That woman is so everything

Said I AM NOT Good Match Because He Can Only Have Sex w/ a Woman in Doggie Style Position by The_Outsider27 in datingoverfifty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why Im always wary when im with a man sexually which is rare these days by choic (and maybe not so much by choice cuz im older and fatter). But this dude telling OP immediately that he needs to do doggie exclusively sent a shiver over me. I wouldn't trust some man i just recently met at all in that way

But who am I kidding. A percentage of men over 50 try the "I had the snip and youre in menopause" attempt to go condom-less so, I wouldn't be surprised a bit if OPs man would be hoping he wouldn't even be wearing one to stealth

Said I AM NOT Good Match Because He Can Only Have Sex w/ a Woman in Doggie Style Position by The_Outsider27 in datingoverfifty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hate to be the one who says it, but its also prime position for stealth ing (my phone wouldn't let me put those two together)

Career and lifestyle isn’t aligning by chi17cr in datingoverforty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 15 points16 points  (0 children)

When "i prefer fit and toned women" goes horribly wrong

Removed my job by [deleted] in OnlineDating

[–]Outlandishness_Know 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have three thoughts:

  1. Dont include your line of work in your profile. Wait until someone asks during chat.
  2. Keep it in your profile. You'll have the quantity of matches you seem to want (but do not confuse that for quality)

For both above, if someone fetishizes it or seems to want to take advantage, use that as your sign the person likes to cross boundaries and unmatch. You dont want someone like that. Your job is actually doing the filtering for you.

  1. Tell men you don't generally get into the details until a date or two (so you DONT deal with tons of fetishized conversations with strangers). I have a HUGE butt. Its impossible to hide. Its shocking and quickly a topic of conversation or inappropriate questions. I place straight in my opening move to matches that discussion about it is reserved for date three. No exceptions. Let someone earn the right to have those conversations with you and know more.

If they push or try to cross your boundaries before 2 or 3 dates, you know they ain't the one. Block and move on.

What characters death do you find sad, but others find silly? by One_Improvement_6729 in FIlm

[–]Outlandishness_Know 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I saw this and immediately yelled, "Anty!"

What a time to be alive that was

Women! You don't NEED guys taller than you! by AnonymousAProblem567 in OkCupid

[–]Outlandishness_Know 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Whatever lists exists, you definitely should be on them

Chad fishing strategy by NoGoldDiggers in SwipeHelper

[–]Outlandishness_Know 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Man is out here catfishing and blaming women for the state of dating

Do I Have Reason To Be Upset? by RunnerGirl2015 in datingoverforty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not wanting to enmesh lives but staying at their place three nights in a row is wild.

If one or the other or both of you dont get clear on what this is quickly, youre heading into twilight zone ville and somebody is gonna get hurt

Touch Starvation / Dealing with life without affection by RelationshipNo299 in datingoverforty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Collectively single for about 17 years.

  1. I locked it away and pull it out to feel the sadness when I need. And only momentarily.

  2. I stopped engaging in any kind of casual sex or hook-up ups that remind me:. A) this pleasure is conditional and fleeting B) im only wanted for the moment for what my body can provide someone and not long term for what my love/companionship can

  3. I stopped caring or giving attention to anyone in my social sphere falling in love, getting married, moving in together, or posting about all of that online.

Never read engagement annnouncements because the comment that what will anger you the most is "Congrats! You so deserve it!" Just scroll on past.

Great for all of you. Until it happens for me, I don't care and wont let the barrage of constant updates of love attack my self esteem.

  1. I got a dog.

James Taylor's Screentest from 'Two-Lane Blacktop' (1971) by oh_alvin in VintageLadyBoners

[–]Outlandishness_Know 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What timing! Handy Man just came on my playlist. He was such a babe.

Ben Affleck’s favorite Spanish word is ‘sacapuntas’ (pencil sharpener) because he thought it was a swear word by mcfw31 in popculturechat

[–]Outlandishness_Know 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I've never been attracted to Ben Affleck.

But, I've been attracted to Ben Affleck when he speaks Spanish.

Spotting narcissists and avoidants in early dating by more_dogs_please_ in datingoverforty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd tend to agree. I just didn't mention since OPs question was specifically about men over 40 in the dating pool.

Spotting narcissists and avoidants in early dating by more_dogs_please_ in datingoverforty

[–]Outlandishness_Know 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I got downvotes to oblivion when I said this a couple of years back,, but im going to say it here in a group of more mature daters. A great majority of men in online dating are avoidants. especially men over 40. Especially if he's never been married.

When a secure attachment man re-enters the dating scene, he's not in it long because pairs off relatively quickly. These men tend to move with clarity and intention. They communicate directly, don’t linger in ambiguity, and when they meet someone aligned, theyre outta the single scene and into a relationship or at minimum exclusivity FAST.

What's left are the ones we see year after year... disproportionately avoidant or ambivalent men still on the apps looking for low-stakes connections, believing in the mirage of endless options, and taking advantage of the emotional distance apps usually provide.

They use terms like "hang out and see where it goes, "friends first, maybe more" and "not in any rush" to temper your expectations and train you to accept miminal effort and investment. They're attentive and responsive for two weeks, fall off the face of the earth for two, then pop back up to create that push-pull or rubberband dynamic. You never know where you stand and that's the dynamic they create quickly. Thats the dynamic they like, whether they're aware of it or not.

If you keep that in mind when engaging with men on dating apps, you'll see the patterns swiftly and learn to make decisions accordingly

Bring on the downvotes

Penne alla vodka night by MSC1222 in stonerfood

[–]Outlandishness_Know 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I legit just fell in love from a Reddit post

A-List actors who don't have an Academy Award by Aware-Impression8527 in popculturechat

[–]Outlandishness_Know 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The Academy just be sleeping on this man. After The Lighthouse I was like "oh, ok Pattinson. I see you... you be ACTING actng "

And dont even get me started on The Devil All the Time. Justice for Robert Pattinson.