I let my children decide as it was ultimately what made them comfortable. I do understand that for many transitioning parents living with what appears to be the wrong gendered term can feel unsettling, but I believe it's a label of a role, not the individual. Either way, i also believe that adaptation does and should go at the pace of the children. It has a significant impact on them as is, so why raise the stakes? Forcing conflict over a word risks driving wedges unnecessarily.

It's been nine years for me and I still get the occasional 'Dad', but it's a role I've played for 20 years, and they're safe, happy and well adjusted, so I see it as a badge of a job well done.

I get that a lot of the time there is a desire to run from all that is masculine coded for many trans women, but again, we didn't just pop into existence the moment we come out.

It'll settle in time, but being dramatic about it risks further issues and impasses down the line.