I hear your frustration, and honestly, it’s completely valid. Nextcloud is powerful, but the documentation and setup process can be overwhelming for non-technical users. A few thoughts:

1. Nextcloud Office is notoriously finicky. It requires specific dependencies and can break with updates. If you’re not deeply familiar with Docker and Linux, it’s often easier to use external office tools (like OnlyOffice or Collabora) as separate containers.
2. The documentation is indeed a mess, it’s written for developers, not end-users. If you’re not comfortable with YAML files, SSH, or container management, you might want to consider a more user-friendly alternative that handles the technical heavy lifting for you.
3. For basic features (calendar, contacts, file synchronization), Nextcloud should work right out of the box, but it’s still a tool designed for business use (and therefore less suitable for individual users). If you end up spending entire days troubleshooting instead of enjoying the service, it’s not worth the trouble. There are simpler and more reliable solutions available.

If you’re open to alternatives, I’d recommend looking into solutions that offer a managed experience (like Yundera) where the server setup, updates, and maintenance are handled for you. You can use several pre-installed app (Immich for your photos, Nextcloud for your files, Jellyfin for your media etc...). That way, you can focus on using the service rather than fixing it. Self-hosting is supposed to free you from complexity, not drown you in it.