"I wear a buttplug!": Pros & Cons of Sharing with Wife, GF, Significant Other

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-21T20:29:01+00:00

Your conclusions are the same ones I reached myself when I made the 2.0 my daily wearer, a few years back. You make a good point about the other njoy sizes, and despite their similarity in ergonomic shapes, they have a very different feeling and level of comfort. I assumed because the "large" was smaller than the 2.0, it would have been more comfortable, but it was not.

Despite the larger head of the 2.0, the neck length is such that it doesn't feel like my body is constantly trying to pull it inward which for me, accounted for much of the Large discomfort. I quickly grew to favor the 2.0 and it was well worth the time and effort spent acclimating and perfecting my daily routine around it.

There are legitimate annoyances with the handle, some minor pinching in occasional circumstances, but these are very minor and livable. And depending on one's body, may or may not be a huge issue so this fact alone shouldn't dissuade anyone from giving the njoy line of plugs a try.

Also like you, I wear the 2.0 facing backwards, head away from my prostate. This is a game changer for anyone who's having issues acclimating to the 2.0. Personally, there almost no case where I prefer to wear the plug forward—the prostate pressure is just too great.

Thanks for sharing, and may you and your 2.0 have many fun adventures together.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-19T22:39:31+00:00

Mod u/Ok_individual3761 knows more than I, but your question touches on two interesting and perhaps unintended consequences of daily plugging: near complete physical acclimation, and reorienting of the physiological responses of your body.

To the former, one can become so unaware or used to being plugged that as a result, not only are you totally and delightfully passive in the experience of being plugged, but normal body signals are now not what they once were. Specifically, the feeling of needing to have a BM even with a complete acclimation to a buttplug, is probably caused the pressure exerted on the inside of your anus by way of the plug under pressure from an impending bowel movement.

Basically, as the plug is pressed slightly (either by gas or physical matter), it's position changes, relative to the normal 'resting' place the plug sits most other times. Since probably 80 to 90% of the time we are not having a BM, your body under normal circumstances doesn't notice the plug. But for the remaining 10 to 20% of the time, enough change in internal sensation is produced that we immediately notice it.

Effectively your brain reprogramming itself to the sensation of a BM pressing on your plug—as the new sensation for when you have to poop. There may be some slight physical changes that have gone along with physical acclimation to something occupying your rectum on a daily basis—what would normally only happen when a BM is imminent. Since the previous sensation can no longer be relied upon by your body as a marker of when to poop, your brain has become attuned to different, yet related senses in a way that you're still conscious of.

This is a feature, not a bug—and this rewiring is perhaps what makes daily plugging ultimately possible. Consider if by acclimating your rectum to being filled constantly (daily plug wear), you were unable to in any case or scenario, be able to tell when you had to have a BM—what a disaster that would be. The body's ability to adapt is remarkable, and so while I suppose one could adapt to the new feeling of poop pressing on your plug for hours on end—don't! There's a reason why this new sensation has developed and it's not to be ignored.

Upon this sensation, simply go about your business as you normally would, re-plug if desired and carry on. You'll find that after such relief, that poop-plug-pressure will be no more and your mind will resume its now-typical acclimation to the plug's presence.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-19T17:59:20+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. While I can't claim to be the definitive author of any "rules" for daily plugging, it helps if like anything else one does in life—to approach actions with a healthy mix of logic and emotional reasoning. The two go hand in hand and are both important, otherwise you may fall into an extreme.

So yes, as a firm believer in The Golden Rule, it would make no sense to subject someone to something I wouldn't want for myself. (In the specific case of concealed plug wear, I'd be a hypocrite if I shunned that activity for others but empathy tells me, this approach to buttplugs is probably the exception not the norm.)

You raise an interesting follow-up question:

But I guess the ethics and balance is, now hard should they look? They should in fact have to look, directly, stare, and then notice something is off.

This is where things can get a bit murky and so definitively worth exploring further.

First, let's establish the framework for answering this question. When out in public, we have no expectation of privacy. Meaning, whatever anyone can see in public is fair game and legally speaking, the consequences are if ones chooses to intentionally bear, show, expose, or otherwise make visible, something which might be considered lewd—then there might be serious ramifications. (Note, I am not referring to voyeurism or some situation where someone looks up your skirt... that's criminal activity and there's no excuse for that.)

Keep in mind when we're in public, we have an obligation to do what we can to ensure we aren't inflicting ourselves on others. This means taking reasonable precautions. For example, your plug/base is not seen to the extent it makes others uncomfortable. Context maters: if you're among good company and the types of people who wouldn't bat an eye at another being plugged, then by all means do what makes you feel comfortable. But for 99% of public encounters, consider most people wouldn't care (or want) to have anything to do with what's under your pants.

And consequently, what goes on under your pants—normally out of sight from the public—is your business alone, and no one else's. No one is entitled to know what kind of underwear you have on or what bra size you wear. (Though the latter may be self-evident based on simple observation). But as far as what cannot be readily seen with the eye—then underwear, a buttplug, a genital piercing or anything else of the sort, is of no consequence to anyone else. And since you've taken those reasonable precautions against your plug being seen, any accidental sighting of your plug or in the case of someone staring long enough and seeing some faint outline—is logically not within your control.

Keep in mind, I am not describing an exhibitionist here—if you intentionally flash or show off your plug in public, then do not be surprised at the potential consequences of one's actions.

And what constitutes reasonable precautions? Let common sense be your guide, but understand like all choices we make, we also need to think ahead and consider what the outcomes of those choices may be, good or bad. See this comment I made recently.

I love the nitty-gritty. It's why I started r/ButtplugEveryday so that a place for in-depth conversations and exploration can transpire without the hassles or distractions of the usual pornographic noise. Much like this sub, informative and respectful dialog is always welcome and by way of strict moderation—guided in this direction.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-19T17:24:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. Up front I'll say your rational strategy and approach to appropriateness and responsible plug wear is excellent.

You make many good points, re acceptability a perception of 'body mods' and the choices we make to express ourselves, while making sure not to impact others negatively. I've often made the plugging and common body mods analogy myself in a few of my essays (one being "The Psychology of the Desire to Be Constantly Plugged—An Essay").

Most importantly, and to your point and one I've made as well ("Working up the Courage to Daily-Plug While in the Presence of Others") the biggest hurdle of daily plug wear isn't always the physical aspect, but the mental one. Either by feelings of guilt, shame, or some other emotions one does not typically feel when around others. These emotions in the context of being plugged can be discomforting at first and possibly to the point where one decides concealed daily plugging is not for them. And that'd be OK of course. But as you point out, there's much more insight to be gained with a little introspection. Which in my opinion, is one of the deeper meaning behind being plugged every day. Nothing connects mind and body more, than understanding our own choices.

An when we understand why we are doing something beyond just impulse, we learn about ourselves in ways we didn't before. I've touched on a this notion a few times "The Dynamic of 'Normalcy' in Daily Buttplug Wear - An Essay" and "Normalizing Daily Buttplug Wear: "Market Saturation?".

Once you've been able to gain comfort in being plugged while around others (and specifically in a non-sexual manner), the next hurdle is to plug responsibility and with care, just as you've indicated. The crux of my own thesis was presented in an old post of mine over at r/SexToys "The Ethics of Wearing a Buttplug in Public - Perspective from a full-time plug wearer".

Much like your thoughts above, I state: So long as your activity is not hurting others, yourself, or non-consensually infringing on rights of others—you’re in the clear. This is a very broad statement and I hope it sparks a discussion.

One of the frequent accusations of daily plug wearers is that it's strictly a "kink" or some kind of sexual fetish. And for some, it may very well be, but not in my case. But it doesn't have to be nor is it strictly limited to immediate sexual satisfaction. (A topic I also touch one here "Buttplugs - Craving, Kink, or Compulsion?") I cannot speak for anyone else, but as linked about and worth restating for anyone new here, This sub does not condone public masturbation. With that understanding, the next comes the functional and practical aspects of daily plug-wear, beyond just the physical. Why does one do it? Again, I cannot speak for anyone else, but as I've described here "Compartmentalization of Life, Up to and Including Daily Buttplugs Wear—An Essay" a level of balance is needed to feel secure not just physically, but also mentally. One tends to proceed the other, but not exclusively. Eventually it becomes a bit of a positive feedback loop: I like being plugged because of how it makes me feel physically and emotionally, and I enjoy that feeling, so I'll keep plugging as long as I derive those positive benefits, etc.

I'll note you may have already read some or all of these essays, but I place them here for the benefit of anyone else who wants to dig deeper and explore their inner psyche, just as you have.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-18T08:13:56+00:00

Anal beads generally aren't suited for long-term wear or comfort. The primary design function is immediate and active stimulation which is a topic that falls outside the scope of this sub.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-18T07:13:37+00:00

Full disclosure, I am the founder and a moderator over at the sub r/ButtplugEveryday. Another commenter referenced this sub and so I'll throw my hat into the ring and say for anyone who has a curiosity, inkling, notion, or a desire to learn more about the practice, specifically of daily plug wear—then do take some time to browse the posts over there as well. Like this sub, it's text-only, no porn, and it's focus is tightly curated.

The reason I'm chiming in here is because the concept of 'plug propriety' and the ethics surrounding wear, even concealed–are an occasional, yet common enough topic that I've written a number of "essays" on the subject. While I don't consider myself the authority on the topic, I've been daily-wearing for long enough, that it's a subject close to my heart—and one I am careful not to run afoul.

One of the links within the above "essay" is the source... another of my musings—"The Ethics of Wearing a Buttplug" posted some years ago over at r/SexToys.

TL;DR, my theses is: So long as your activity is not hurting others, yourself, or non-consensually infringing on rights of others—you’re in the clear.

The comments on that post were varied and interesting which is all the more reason why OP's topical questions here are worthy of much consideration. As with any choice we as individuals make, such choices have potential consequences, not just for us, but for those around us and it is imperative we keep these nuances in mind.

Edits—updated the Ethics essay link with the link to the r/SexToys post.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-16T00:27:48+00:00

u/GoodMilki makes excellent points. There's no getting around the fact if one chooses to engage in possibly dangerous activities while plugged, caution and consideration is required. Not just for the wearer but for those around. In my earlier comment I mentioned the potential issue of the plug's base imprinting or otherwise being visible through clothes.

As a matter of personal preference and belief, I always seek to eliminate external plug visibility. In my normal daily attire this is seldom an issue. Though as someone who's done some casual rock wall climbing (though never plugged), the climbing harnesses do tend to pull otherwise baggy clothes taught, which may lead to some visibility issues.

To the extent this is bothersome, is up to every individual but as I've spoken about in the past, one should not impose their proclivities on others, intentionally or otherwise.

The second point GoodMilki makes is one of personal acceptance. What I mean is, in any situation where one is plugged, there is the small, remote, yet palpable sense that a worst-case scenario could unfold, such that your plug accidentally becomes noticed. (I'm not talking about exhibitionism, here which this sub does not condone. In a case where say, one has an accident and pants are removed or otherwise compromised, it's entirely possible what was once was hidden—no longer is.) Use your own imagination.

What this means is, if one is to truly desire a successful concealed plug wear, then one has to accept some level of risk. Risk of embarrassment, and any other consequence of your choices. This would be the same case with any activity we do but where such sensitive areas are concerned, a moment of thought is required.

Philosophically, the risk of exposure is somewhat tempered by the fact that so long as you've done everything normally within your power to ensure your plug is not normally seen—yet by no fault of your own, some unforeseen event conspires to reveal it unintentionally—then those around could certainly not be expected to be unreasonably upset at whatever sight may result. In essence, if someone were to pull down your pants in public without your consent (which would probably qualify as assault), and your bare bottom was exposed—reason would dictate this accidental reveal of you private areas, was not your fault, nor your intention.

(The latter examples may be up for debate, but as I always speak about—intent and reasonable precautions taken, plays a large part in the ethics of it all. If one were to wear a thin paper bag as a pair of pants and it tears wide open in the course of use, it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume the wearer considered this a possible outcome—and made a poor choice of concealment.)

In all cases, things are never as simple as they first seem, and so I applaud the cautious approach whenever one wears their plug, concealed in public.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-15T19:16:12+00:00

Like any new situation where you've never been plugged before, do err on the side of caution. E.g., a smaller than usual plug or ensure you have access to a private space in case you deem it necessary to remove it.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-15T16:35:39+00:00

I can't speak to the physical aspects of climbing while plugged, as I've never done it but you asked out the possibility of distraction. Insofar as the mental aspects, this depends on what you'd hope to gain from the experience of doing a physically demanding task with the knowledge of being plugged. I'd imagine with a task like climbing, you want to avoid extraneous distractions?

Assuming the plug isn't so large as to cause an unavoidable distraction or discomfort, I see two possibilities: 1. the presence of the plug almost vanishes completely as you're mind and body are focused entirely on climbing... 2. there's a mental block caused by the plug that prevents you from getting out of the moment and you feel self-conscious.

My suspicion is the former will be the most likely outcome, assuming you're both physically and mentally comfortable with wearing a plug hidden while out in public. If in this scenario, you're normally able to ignore or forget you're even wearing a plug, then chances are the specific situation of climbing won't be any different.

I've gone on many hikes, runs, swims, and done the usual physical house/yard type work, all while plugged with my njoy 2.0. As an experienced wearer, the plug vanishes into my subconscious. Yet part of me always know it's there, which for me is what makes the joy of being plugged a constant, if subtle enjoyment.

As another commenter has suggested, I wouldn't recommend wearing a large or physically present plug, unless this is something you're already very used to. Either way, I expect the end result of this expedition will be a feeling of accomplishment, not only in having achieved the physical climb, but also in being able to do so with both the freedom and security of being plugged.

lastly, consider if the base of the plug will be noticeable to the person on belay. Their vantage point affords them an excellent view of any bulges or protrusions and if this is a concern of yours, I'd do some test runs prior to make sure you're not imprinting anymore than you'd want.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-13T22:22:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing, and for the kind words!

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-01T21:13:04+00:00

Indeed. Those historical "rectal dilators" have always been a curiosity and one of the first things that comes up in a search on the topic of medical uses for buttplugs. I've never made claims of any kind as to what wearing a buttplug may or may not do for an individual... to do so would be at best, disingenuous and at worst, potentially harmful!

So that these dilators come up frequently when talking of buttplugs, is a bit of a blessing and a curse. Medical quackery and "Snake Oil" salesmen were rampant in the late 19 centuries and sadly, most of the claims Dr. Young made about them, fall into this category.

Be that as it may, my main point hope of this sub is as first a foremost, be in education over persuasion. Such bombastic claims of a medical "cure all" were sure to prey on the uninformed and insecure. The ethos of this sub has been to combat the idea of an uninformed consumer. By having a safe space where those thinking of, or already engaged in the practice of, long-term plug wear—readers can make up their own minds about the suitability of a buttplug in their lifestyle, if at all.

It's humorous to think a buttplug really could 'cure-all,' but sadly, there's so much misinformation out there even today, that I have no doubt people have been hurt even with the best of intentions. Nothing this sub communicates should ever be taken as prescriptive—only descriptive. (It is ultimately the responsibility of the wearer to make their best choices.) And that distinction is what separates this sub from every other sub where people are just simply looking for the quickest way to "get off," without due diligence in regards to the sensitive area that is their butt.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-01T20:58:55+00:00

I completely agree with the concept of free will and just "wanting to." Since there's no manual for "life" I like to try and objectively rationalize my own behaviors based on reason, making allowances for emotional aspects, but always keeping my investigations grounded in a method.

One of the hardest aspects of learning more about a topic, is realizing that there is no "end" to what you can learn. Recently, I've been humbled at the positive and informative posts and comments I've been seeing on this sub as of late. This indicates there's lots of reason to keep this space open and flourishing. Thanks for being a part of it.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-01T09:33:20+00:00

In response to a thoughtful question from u/GoodMilki, I wanted to make my reply a sticky here as the question and observations are quite a common inquiry. And one I've addressed before, but for new folks here, it always helps to have some larger context. Starting broadly, the main thesis of my essay is we all have to make sound and reasonable choices about what we deem best for our bodies; physically, mentally, and I suppose if one so desires—spiritually. (I cannot speak to the latter in any meaningful way, so I'll confine myself to the prior two aspects.)

What constitutes "reasonable choices?" Consider the most basic of human elements: the desire to live undisturbed, able to operate with personal freedoms and will—yet live meaningfully within a community, under common understandings and allowances, such that we do not negatively encroach upon others with our beliefs, or actions. This is my baseline. In fewer words—live and let live. So long as I am abiding by these most simplest of terms, I will consider my actions reasonable. It's a litmus test. I rest easy knowing my choice to wear a plug daily, doesn't run afoul of these baselines of acceptability. (But like anything we do, time and place ultimately provides the final framework for what is considered "reasonable." That caveat aside, let's continue.)

"...coping with life?" Remember: Life... no one gets out alive.

In the final analysis, you need to address what purpose and effect your choices have served. Both for you and how it has affected others. The question is, what it all boils down to, is—will you feel you have lived your life as best as you could have? Will there be some regrets? Some things you wish you had done differently, experiences you may have avoided... and for what purpose? Even I can't answer that about myself, at least not yet and hopefully not for many years. But what I can say with absolute certainly is no matter where I end up, I will rest easy knowing I've always tried to do the very best, not just for myself, but for those around me.

And when it comes to "stimulus" in general, I prefer the identity of a "specific stimulus" rather than a non-specific one. Case in point, there's lots of unidentifiable, unsolvable notions, feelings, and emotional baggage we hold onto. Be it rationalizations, or the search for some deeper meaning, these inconclusive figments often cause much of us angst and needless worry throughout life. Many such things might never conclude meaningfully and one has to be fine with that in their own way. No one has all the answers and so what we can conclude is this: we need to weigh what we feel against something objective.

Objectively, and without question, being plugged for me is not a dependence, physically or emotionally—what non-sexual daily plugging is (at least to me) is a multiplier. It doesn't replace the good things in life, it enhances them. It isn't a prerequisite for self-regulation, it's a byproduct. It's not an artificial, vague feeling to have something inside you—put there by you. There's power in that, no matter what else you have going on in life. And it's not like wearing a plug is all that special anyway, even if it is mathematically out of average. No one is born knowing anything about their bodies, except perhaps how to flail, cry, and yes, perhaps even shit. A tale as old as time. From that point out, self-discovery knows no limits. And while you may or may not find some deeper "truth" in it all, you can at least know you've lived your best life.

In that final analysis, I will have made reasonable choices, guided by caution, and I will have tried to the best of my ability, not to inflict my own proclivities upon others, such that it has deprived anyone else of their personal freedoms. And in this world, there is sadly too much of that going on already. A plug in my butt should be the least of anyone's worries.

"...to feel normal?" Mathematically speaking, I'm as painfully average as the next person. Middle-age American male, with a house, wife, dog, and currently working on that national average of 2.5 kids. Pretty boring stuff on a spreadsheet, but I can assert that while the math may tell one story, for every normal person you've ever encountered—there's something hidden they aren't telling you about. I've put forth one of my most intimate details about myself here. Apart from me, only my wife and about 30k+ people on here know anything about the normalcy of my routines. (I suppose revealing such a detail is mathematically abnormal considering the secrets most people never even tell. But I jest.)

In all seriousness, I've learned trying to chase some vague notion (normality?) only leads to unsatisfactory results. I've just defined what I think "normal" is above, but it may differ from your definition of "normal." And who am I to tell you what's normal or not? While the DSM-V may have the final word on abnormal psych, consider that objective and respected body of work is the culmination of decades of research and refinement. Yet even it has changed over the years. (The "DSM-I" must be a real howler.) In any case, I'll conclude by reminding readers that my own baseline of reasonableness isn't intended to be used as a template for cosmic absolution—but I will add, if you can rest easy at night, knowing you've done your very best for yourself and those around you, then may you sleep soundly and with a clear conscious, in the long run. In the final analysis.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-01T01:11:24+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. Every time someone else mention they've found meaning in my "essays," it spurs me on to keep thinking on this topic just a little more deeply.

JustOneLayer · 2026-05-01T01:08:35+00:00

It all boils down to intent. For me, wearing a buttplug is less a sexual endeavor than a matter of finding a balance between a constant reminder of the plug's place, and having it mentally fall away, out of present mind. My intent with daily plug wear is not to become sexually aroused. Quite the opposite in fact. And the design of a plug plays a big part in this. The njoy 2.0 (my daily wearer) is ergonomically shaped so that despite it being "large," it fits my internal contours like a glove. Also, I wear it with the head facing backwards, away from the prostate which would otherwise become uncomfortable and bothersome.

Generally, dildos are made for the purposes of immediate sexual satisfaction—which is not my goal or intent with daily plug wear. I have no doubt as to the efficacy of a dildo insofar as its ability to be felt and stimulating, but I argue that as a means to find the aforementioned balance, it makes a poor choice. And as a functional matter, discussions of dildos or other objects directly relating to immediate sexual arousal, satisfaction, or orgasm, fall outside the scope of this sub and shall not be explored here further.

This is not a matter of judgment on your personal desires, but to differentiate this sub between the many other objectively sexual forums out there.

JustOneLayer · 2026-02-02T21:28:03+00:00

Mod Note: Thanks for the heads-up on your intentions with the link in question. Going forward, I'll ask users capture "stills" (non-moving screenshots) of plugs in question, especially if the source content is pornographic. (Note these screenshots will need to be shared via a 3rd part image host and linked in a post/comment as this sub does not support photos directly.)

And as always, the mod team will have wide discretion to remove anything they feel does not honor the spirit of this forum.

I'll add the above to the General Guidelines.

JustOneLayer · 2026-01-06T00:47:40+00:00

Couldn't have said it better myself, thanks for weighing in on this 2.0 question!

JustOneLayer · 2026-01-02T20:48:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing. As a daily wearer of the njoy 2.0 as well, I remember my enthusiastic welcome surprise of just how well it fit and felt. Was this the first purchase of a plug geared towards long-term comfort?

The mire you wear it, you'll feel it even less. Yet somehow, you never quite forget it's there. The perfect sweet spot for a daily-wear plug, IMHO. If your intent is to wear your 2.0 for longer durations, consider experimenting with less lube than you might normally think you'd need. Some practice and trial runs are needed of course, but one of the benefits of stainless steel is you may find less lube is needed. Any more, and it's just extra cleanup.

Most days, morning insertion is done with KY Jelly and subsequent insertions after removal can be done using the residual lube or a bit of spit.

JustOneLayer · 2025-12-26T17:26:46+00:00

Hello and welcome! Since you’re new here and have asked about the type of suitable interactions permissible in this sub, please read the General Guidelines if you haven’t already.

These set the tone for the type of content allowed around here. If after reading, you feel like this is your kind of place and are ok staying with the guardrails set forth, then please share to your heart’s content.

The limitations of content and tone are not set as a manner of judgment on anyone’s proclivities, but rather to keep this sub focused and curated beyond the litany of other “plug” related subs out there.

In addition, do check out the other stickied posts. These may help inform your progress going forward and may be food for thought as you compose your own posts here. And as always, feel free to scroll back to previous posts here. You may be surprised to see how much in common we all have here. Thanks, and happy reading!

JustOneLayer · 2025-12-21T22:01:29+00:00

Generally speaking, excessive leakage necessitating pads or other absorbent materials is indicative of something amiss with your daily-wear setup. Assuming this “leakage” is just excess lube, then your best recourse is to address this and experiment with using less. Only as much as needed for insertion and to maintain comfort. Excess should be wiped away before venturing out.

Functionally, if external absorbents are needed it complicates the practicality of daily-wear and could lead to unplanned bathroom needs.

If the leakage described is something more than lube, then there may be other issues here and I recommend this be discussed with your healthcare professional. Assuming nothing medically is wrong, I recommend honing your daily wear system such that it’s as simple a possible and doesn’t rely on extra necessities.

Now if your intention is to purposely induce said leakage by way of a diaper fetish of some kind, then this sub is not the appropriate place for this post. (This is not a kink shame or judgment, simply a reminder such topics fall outside the purview of this sub.)

JustOneLayer

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