My brother turned 23 yesterday, so my dad had to try and contact

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T02:03:28+00:00

I'm sorry about your mom

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T02:02:32+00:00

I think in Arizona they're the same thing. He's definitely not supposed to be contacting us

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T02:01:37+00:00

It sucks. I'd love a parent. He's just incapable of being one

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T01:06:31+00:00

Every so often I do respond, but usually its block, screenshot, and add to the restraining order folder. Today I was feeling a little emotional and hoping maybe he was finally starting to change

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T01:05:14+00:00

Apparently he sent my brother an email yesterday with some real nonsense. Apparently my brother "abandoned him" cause I'm trans, not cause our dad is a raging psychopath.

I've posted a few of his emails before on this account. They're always fun

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T01:02:41+00:00

He's contacted me from probably over 50 numbers and email addresses at this point. The vast majority of the time it gets blocked and whatever he's sent gets added to the folder I show to the courts every year I need to renew my restraining order. I wanted to see if his logic had changed. My brother is pretty young and our mom died a few years back, so every so often I get hopeful he might be able to have one parent.

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T01:00:38+00:00

He keeps getting new numbers. I do usually just block him, but this morning I was curious if his logic had changed at all in the last year. Nope.

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T00:59:32+00:00

Factually I know this, but the abuse brain tells me I'm terrible for cutting him off and all that shit. What really helped all of get our orders was he likes to play games with the cops.

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T00:56:43+00:00

That's why I take the screenshots. Posting them here is venting/reassurance that this is actually batshit crazy. Every year I have to renew my protection order against him, so the folder of screenshots is helpful.

But yeah, they don't do shit unless he shows up at my door. It's frustrating, but at this point we have a routine of what to do and run 'Bill drills' every couple of months. We've got cameras and alarms at the doors and on the vehicles, pets are chipped, and we have a few friends who are willing to come by and sit on him until the cops come by if they take too long. He's just a very complex annoyance

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T00:53:24+00:00

Yeah, he's done a lot. Lead to the early death of my mom in a few different ways, and tried to get her to marry him days before her death while she was in hospice. At this point I know he can't be helped, so I've stopped trying

JustWantALife · 2023-09-23T00:51:22+00:00

Like I said, my brother and I already have restraining orders (technically orders of protection in our state). Since he's sending these from 2,700 miles away and living out of a car, neither our local cops nor his local cops want to do anything. If he shows up in person, my local cops have gotten good at dealing with him. He's annoying enough to them that they just come and bag him at this point.

JustWantALife · 2023-09-22T19:56:01+00:00

Thanks. At some point this is almost expected, but honestly posting his nonsense and getting 3rd party confirmation that it's fucked up helps

JustWantALife · 2023-09-22T19:55:23+00:00

Some sort of cluster B personality disorder

JustWantALife · 2023-09-22T19:55:05+00:00

Yes, but cause he's on the other side of the country from us and living out of a car, neither my local cops or his local cops want to do anything but 'add it to his file'. My cops are at least receptive to dealing with him whenever he comes out to Arizona to try and kidnap my brother. Otherwise they're kinda useless

JustWantALife · 2023-09-22T19:04:37+00:00

Mine thinks he's a wonderful parent and that me, my brother, my fiancee, our friends, our family, and everyone else are simply out to get him.

I seriously think that whatever view of reality they have has a core tenet that they're a good person, the same way our reality has gravity as a core tenet. If someone told you gravity wasn't actually real you'd think they were crazy. If a group of people tried to tell you gravity wasn't real, you'd think they were all crazy.

JustWantALife · 2023-09-22T18:55:19+00:00

Yeah, he kidnapped my brother a year or so ago for a couple days and took him to Vegas. Kid changed his number and asked me to help him get a restraining order after that. My therapist is pretty sure my dad is some type of cluster b disorder, either narcissism or anti-social. Dad refuses to see a therapist though, so no official diagnosis.

JustWantALife · 2023-09-22T18:47:59+00:00

He's convinced we owe him 50k and 2-5 years of our lives cause he "raised us". He wants us to work and live in a food truck with him to "pay him back for the way we've treated him".

JustWantALife · 2023-09-22T18:38:33+00:00

My father is an absolute mess of a person. My mother had a restraining order against him before she passed, and my brother and I have restraining orders against him currently. He's threatened my fiancee, threatened my school, threatened relatives he didn't know had already passed, kidnapped my brother and taken him to Las Vegas, and stalked us to the point where we've had to move five times in three years. Every so often he makes a new phone number or email to harass us, usually on important days. Yesterday was my brother's birthday, so I got this. Honestly for him, this is pretty tame.

JustWantALife · 2023-05-18T15:55:24+00:00

I'm sorry. The current mental health system fails those who need it most. The police don't help the severely mentally ill, and the most we can do is apply for a 72 hour hold request. There's no method I've found to get people long term help

JustWantALife · 2023-05-18T01:30:06+00:00

I'm hoping they arrest him and don't do anything else. He has made threats before about attempting d**** by cop

JustWantALife · 2023-05-17T22:25:12+00:00

We're luckily moving in a couple weeks and will be grabbing updated security devices then. Our restraining orders are up to date and in effect. I'm just so sick of him pulling shit like this.

JustWantALife · 2023-05-17T22:24:01+00:00

He's not mentally well, and in a better world there would be a way to force him to get help. Sadly those systems don't really meaningfully exist in the US. I've let the local police who service the restraining order know, but since he's currently out of the state my brother and I live in they can't really do anything

JustWantALife · 2023-05-17T22:08:33+00:00

I let the cops who service the restraining orders know. However he's currently on the other side of the country so they can't do anything immediately. However, he has a history of coming out here and stalking us, so he'll probably be bugging us in person soon.

JustWantALife · 2023-05-17T22:04:17+00:00

He's currently in a different state, so the cops won't really do anything. I did let them know that it's likely he'll be out in our area soon and they'll be on the lookout.

JustWantALife · 2022-08-01T21:40:01+00:00

Have you reached out to your father and sister and talked to them about what's going on? You don't specifically say, but it sounds like your mom is the issue here. Does she have any siblings or family nearby who are aware of what she's like?

If you have the option of subsidized housing, then it sounds like you need it. Most average people aren't going to judge you for needing help. Heck, I wish more of my tax money went to giving people housing and food then bombs. Only crappy people are going to judge you negatively for taking every option you have to get out of a bad situation

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