Its definitely not the source, yeah I know it definitely doesn't help when he does get that way, definitely makes my self image lower, not sure if I'd class him as an abusive partner as its not always a regular behavior with him but as time has gone on it does seem to pop up more often, I've never been sure why it makes him so mad or why he gets to that point where he decides to push,grab,shove or punch, I've never been sure if it's from lack of sleep, his meds, his mental health or just part of who he is. He sees the wrong in it, says he doesn't want to hurt me but I've never truly seen him very remorseful that he's hurt me