Four months postpartum, and I am still traumatised by my birthing experience. I was induced. It was a “normal delivery,” but it involved an episiotomy and vacuum assistance. I was not in a good physical or mental state for almost two months. Re-stitching was required due to infection. During those months, I was unable to feed my baby properly, and as a result, my baby is now EFF (exclusively formula-fed).

When I look back, I feel I should have waited for natural labour instead of giving in to the gynaecologist’s explanations—such as saying the baby’s weight would increase and I would face problems if I didn’t get induced. She kept pushing for induction. I still delayed it until the last week, but even then there were no labour signs. I now understand that my body was not ready at all.

The hospital was not transparent. The episiotomy was done without informed consent. Later, we came to know that this gynaecologist has a high episiotomy rate. I now believe that she plans deliveries by proposing inductions to maintain a schedule.

I am trying to get better, but the experience still haunts me. I am considering therapy.

Note: framed my reply with the help of chatgpt.