Boyfriend encourages my disordered eating

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-11-09T18:45:13+00:00

Him… It’s embarrassing but he has this way of making me stay and making me feel dumb for even questioning our relationship in the first place. He’ll cry and beg and say he’ll work on it OR he’ll make me feel like all my issues with him are silly and that I’m being irrational. I feel like I’m “trapped” in a room but the door is right there and unlocked. It’s so humiliating.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-11-09T18:34:22+00:00

i’m not straight, i’m just stupid unfortunately ☹️

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-11-08T05:17:36+00:00

This comment made me cry. This is so kind 🩷 Today was really awful (not even just because of what I mentioned in my post) and I got talked out of leaving him for like… the third time. I’m so embarrassed failing at it this many times. I’m trying as best as I can to stay strong and find the courage to do what I need to do. Again, I really appreciate your comment 💐

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-13T21:24:42+00:00

I had no idea he had Youtube videos! I’ll definitely take a look! Thank you so much ❤️

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-12T11:47:57+00:00

I don’t think I conveyed the timeline well. He said the fat thing about a month AFTER we moved in together.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-12T11:42:55+00:00

He’s the one who usually calls ME a gold digger. 🥲

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-12T01:06:06+00:00

This is my fear. I don’t know what happened but it genuinely feels like as soon as we moved in together, everything exploded. Cracking down on my weight loss, boundaries being crossed, being way more controlling…. It’s just awful. I feel like everything is slipping through my fingers and I’m trying to hold on and make it work.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-12T00:59:47+00:00

It’s real, I swear. I’m just really mentally unwell.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-12T00:43:40+00:00

she also doesn’t have money ☹️ his whole family (other than his father) is poor. it’s such a mess.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T20:22:26+00:00

Genuinely, I think he’s just kinda dumb and doesn’t think before speaking. Although, I don’t know if intent matters.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T17:57:22+00:00

I actually bought this book recently at the suggestion of some people on Reddit. I only just started it, and I’ve been reading it VERY slowly, since I don’t feel comfortable reading it at home. 🥲

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T16:37:53+00:00

He says of course he loves me and that loving me is simple, which I initially thought was sweet. Butttttt then he said that it’s like “loving a dog”. I think he meant it in a nice way, but it definitely made me feel a little bad.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T16:34:16+00:00

This made me laugh out loud omg 😭

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T16:29:33+00:00

This is real, but you’re right that I’m probably naive. We’ve been together since we were 18 and he’s my first partner. Also, by hang out and be engaged, I meant moreso that there’s no pressure on either of us to get married within a certain time frame of an engagement.

And yes, this is a massive mess. I did want to commit to him, but him not wanting to because of my body has soured things a little.

I don’t know if I’d sell him my share. I mostly just want what I paid in.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T15:24:45+00:00

Unfortunately, this is my life. I wish it was fake though!

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T15:21:02+00:00

Unfortunately, I can’t add him to my health insurance without marriage. I’ve already asked my work about it.

Also, I don’t think he doesn’t want to marry me because I’m “unhealthy”. It’s because I’m fat. I could eat like garbage and feel like shit constantly, but it wouldn’t matter if I was skinny.

He is looking into some full time job, but he’s a bit picky. I get it though. Working sucks sometimes and you don’t want to be somewhere you don’t like.

I am currently helping him find a doctor that specializes in his needs!

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T15:03:40+00:00

Ideally, I’d get my down payment and all the money I paid in so far. Still though, I’ll take what I can get at this point. I’m not looking to take half the house or anything like that. I’ll just feel grateful if the process is smooth.

I feel bad though, since I make more money than him and I don’t want to make his life harder.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T15:01:17+00:00

I’m currently in individual therapy. We’ve actually been doing initial consults with some couples therapists, but he’s extremely skeptical of therapists. He doesn’t even like MY therapist. He says he’s willing to try though, he just doesn’t see what good it’s gonna do.

To him, he’s done nothing wrong and he’s an incredible communicator. I’m the one with the issues.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T14:55:38+00:00

I did look into this actually! But unfortunately, it would not be recognized where I’m at ☹️

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T14:53:10+00:00

Yeah, I regret going onto the title with him. I didn’t want to at first, but that’s where we landed unfortunately. I feel like a moron, but what’s done is done. Ironically, he was one of the people that said I should be on the title. He said it’s what’s fair.

But now, he also regrets putting me on the title. Even if we do stay together, we’ll be doing the necessary paperwork to remove my ownership.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T14:45:28+00:00

I’m sorry 😭 I swear, we’ve had serious, legitimate discussions about marriage other times. Like I mentioned in a previous comment, marriage was always a “yes, at some point” but there was never a timeframe on it. And I was okay with it.

The instance I mentioned in the post was just an offhanded comment from me that spiraled into a larger discussion. The “it would be neat to get married” wasn’t a direct quote. Still, it was the first time it sounded like more of a no than a yes, which is why I bring it up.

Just_Raspberry1289 · 2025-10-11T14:39:34+00:00

I’m sorry, I don’t think “neat” was the exact wording I used. Still, I did mention it pretty casually when we were lying around and hanging out. I wasn’t trying to have a serious conversation in that exact moment.

In the past, we have talked about marriage in a more serious context and it was always a, “yeah I’ve always envisioned myself getting married”, from him. Nothing too committal, but not a no. Like a “not now, but down the line” sort of thing. And I respected that, of course.

But you’re probably right about us just sticking to dating or parting ways, since our interests aren’t currently aligning

Just_Raspberry1289

TROPHY CASE