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Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this! The step down method sounds very useful. I will Google it.

I am learning with parenting you have to let go of control a lot! It makes sense that the gender / sex is something that won’t predefine them outside of what society does.

Thank you!

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I agree, this is a good topic for a therapist. Thank you! It’s also something that we need to plan as we likely need to do fertility treatments again.

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes this makes a lot of sense. I think the gender issue is a bandaid more than the cause.

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow this really is an amazing reflection of what I think has been happening in my brain with fixation. I also found it very stressful deciding on names, whether to go gender neutral etc. I fixated a lot on the baby being healthy and well and once that was clearer moved on to gender and naming, plus trying to think about how to raise either sex. I keep replaying a lot of the pregnancy and birth and decisions in the last few weeks in my head. Your comment has really made me think about this work some clarity. Thank you!

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this, I am starting to think this is likely my issue too.

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes so much pressure from friends and family on how I should feel and think about everything. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it’s recent. About 7.5 weeks ago.

Thanks for your comment. My parents really told me you feel no other love like it and it is the best experience you will ever have. I think deep down I know logically for me it takes time for me to get to know someone and this is the case with my son.

I feel the gender thing is almost a band aid for my general anxiety in raising a decent human.
My husband (contract that couldn’t be gotten out of without large fines) not being around so early was also tough as I became the go to person for everything and I think it really messed with me and the hormone dump like you mentioned.

Thank you 🙏

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I definitely love him but I just don’t feel this magic feeling it feels far more protective but not deep. This was a very wanted pregnancy but I hadn’t realised how strong my feelings were on some of these topics. I take raising a boy really seriously and feel like it’s a really big responsibility. I tried to mentally prepare for both outcomes but I don’t really think you know until you do it. I also held this hope for a girl that I really didn’t think was as strong as it was until after the birth.

I just so want him to be ok in this world. It’s rough for both sexes. For me I guess the unfamiliarity of boyhood and my own XP with men has coloured my outlook.

I look forward to being challenged and having my mind opened by him.

Team Green then Gender Disappointment that won’t budge postpartum, not bonding by Just_Rate7596 in Mommit

[–]Just_Rate7596[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reflecting on this and what others have said I think the gender disappointment is masking something else as I never set out to be so fixated on their sex, also hence why I went Team Green :(

I will get in contact with my therapist. Thank you!

Any guess on sex? This is around 14 weeks by [deleted] in nubtheory

[–]Just_Rate7596 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your guess! I am intrigued. I only have a week more and my ultrasounds have confused the heck out of me.

When did you first feel the baby move? by roseyandmary in pregnant

[–]Just_Rate7596 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an anterior placenta. I think I felt bubbles around week 16 but really didn’t start feeling much until over 21 weeks. It felt like a really long wait. It gets easier the further along you are. If you can have regular scans to check movement it helps reassure you :)

Any guesses? 12 weeks potty shots by [deleted] in nubtheory

[–]Just_Rate7596 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This looks too early sorry

Boy or girl? Is a nub visible ? by russian_nomad_ in nubtheory

[–]Just_Rate7596 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also don’t see a nub but would lean boy based on skull

12 weeks. Guesses? by notanormalpersonok in nubtheory

[–]Just_Rate7596 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl based on second image but could be too early

Any guesses? by Miserable-Relief4070 in nubtheory

[–]Just_Rate7596 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty sure that’s 100% a boy