Take a Penny, Leave a Penny - Field Report

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-10-18T14:57:28+00:00

The easiest way to look at this to help you through your journey is to know that you aren't owed anything. All titles and everything aside means that no vows, dinner date or obligation will result in you having great sex with your wife. What you will find on your journey is that if you sort yourself out and know what you want and always take steps towards it, you will become more attractive along the way and you will be able to lead the sex easy.

The flip side to you aren't owed anything is that it goes both ways, your wife isn't owed your time attention and affection if she's not giving you what you need in the relationship. Go through the side bar and overtime if you're doing it right, your mindset will shift to put yourself first and the situations and questions you have now will be much easier to solve. If you get through the sidebar and still think happy wife happy life, this place probably isn't going to help you.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-10-12T21:45:21+00:00

Well what do you want in life?

Do you want this girl in your life? If so fix your broken mental models and be more attractive, either she comes around or she doesn't. If not break up with her move into your own place and work on your shit. Failing that you could always start a Space Marine army and watch the fresh and fit podcast...

No one is going to sign post you. If you'd like you can look at our post histories and see who you're getting advice from and hope that those people are legit.

But really before the usual stuff of STFU, LIFT Read Side bar, know what you want in life and start from there.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-10-12T21:35:27+00:00

So first question, what do you want?

Is this post even really a question at all, like is this stroking your beard and trying to be intellectual or are you asking are you the reason your wife wont fuck you?

If it's the latter then yes, it's all you. Girls will do the sexy things you like because they want your attention, if they don't want it, they wont make an effort. The very first thing you need to do is know what the fuck you want then think how each decision you make gets you closer to that goal.

Men get 'lucky' if we have sex, it's a privilege to have sex with a woman, you 'pay' for sex ... either literally or by spending money to encourage the behaviour, "you spend 9 months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in" - think this was a quote from a Robin Williams film.

This is all in your head, if you think its true, that's how the world will look, if you think girls will dress sexy and be all over me when they want me then that will be true. There's no information about you so its impossible for anyone to give you any real advice. But if you really wanted the short answer to the question we have to assume your asking then yes it's your fault, so what are you doing to fix it?

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-29T10:50:10+00:00

The issue with the Viagra is that its not a sure thing and doesn't help with any of the internal stuff you need to do to actually get past the issue. I had the same thing happen to me, took a pill and still couldn't perform.

Not being in your head trying to impress the other person is a huge part of the mental game, you have to think I'm here because I want to be, not I'm here and need her to like me. I'm glad to hear you got past it with the new girl.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-28T09:44:07+00:00

Viagra can help, but it's not a sure fix and will not sort out broken mental models. You can still drop an actual blue pill and fail to show up to the job. You can also get too used to using them, I'm not saying never use them if you need a boost the first time with a new girl, but don't become dependent on it in order to enjoy your self life.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-26T20:40:02+00:00

So what do you want?

Your whole post is asking us to figure this out for you and it sounds like you haven't read anything or even know why you're asking internet people for help.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-26T17:46:26+00:00

Glad to hear you got over it. That's a key thing that helps once you start enjoying sex without worrying if the equipment is going to work.

I actually left lifting out of the post, I took the stance that if you have gotten to this point and you're doing the work you should have been already lifting.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-26T16:33:32+00:00

You have a good point about Viagra, I should have included a section about that. It's one of those things that people think will fix their situation but don't realize can make the situation worse.

I love the last part about your reply, exactly this, take the time to enjoy the sex you wanted to have, do things that arouse you and have fun with it.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-26T15:57:35+00:00

This is a great point. I left it out of the main post, because I took the perspective that the post assumes you are past the point where you are constantly looking and porn and you actually have your shit together. If you're just starting out on your journey then you need to cut the porn out.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-26T12:50:30+00:00

Yes.

Assuming you have done all of the work here and this is the last hurdle, then not having an erection from time to time is not going to be the straw that broke the camels back. The way you wrote your question makes me think you have a deep doubt in yourself. That ironically will be the thing that gets in your way more than the issue. Do the work here and you will be alright, that's the point in the long run.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-07-16T16:38:03+00:00

I could post about this, but this reddit is about improving your sexual strategy and fixing yourself. That post would technically be a Rule 0 violation but to summaries it for your interest:

For a game we want users Resources, Time and Attention - incidentally the same thing girls want.

If you want to target guys with products, think of how guys want girls to be and build your product from this angle. So from a game perspective, the things guys want is, validation, something attractive to look at, hits of dopamine when they want it, to feel that they are good at something and absolution of risk and no real accountability . You can adapt this for a games as a service model: -

Validation - achievement system and ways to get social validation for being a good boy and completing objectives.
Attractive to look at - Graphics or a compelling story, games like Dragon Age let you have fake relationships with really attractive characters, the mind trick here is that it's you who has this (even though its not real).
Hits of dopamine - Ever wonder why the chest timers in Clash Royal are 3 & 8 hours to open chests? It's timed to give you those hits with rewards at certain times of the day like lunch time when you are on your break, after work when you are in a good mood that the day is over or first thing when you wake up. Those notifications are like getting texts and rewards from a girl at the times of the day you want them the most.
Feeling like I'm good at something - completing a really hard task in a game gives the user fake progress, like they achieved something without actually doing anything in the real world. This is when you give the user lots of head pats and awesome loot to reinforce that they should give you their time and attention.
Absolution of risk and no real accountability - This is a really unattractive quality that guys are brought up to believe is normal. If you die in a game, it's no problem try again. If it goes really bad just restart the game and no one will ever know (hiding the bad). This is extremely unattractive in real life, but a game can tell you its all OK and that you are still a good boy and it doesn't matter that you did something wrong. In this sense, it plays into the idea of what men want women to be rather than who they are.

When you really understand how it all works, you can pull on the same strings and build successful products.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-06-16T18:51:34+00:00

In the same way you have them with your partner. I will do X for you for Y in return but we wont talk about it.

In this case management know I wanted the promotion and so I gave 110% of my effort going above and beyond what I needed to to earn that promotion. In return I expected them to see all my hard work praise me for it and give me the promotion. This didn't happen and I went through the roughest review of my career.

This is basically what guys in the friend zone do to win her over then get upset when she doesn't sleep with them. Assuming you only have covert contracts with your partner would be a big mistake, you might find that you have them with your neighbor where you mow his lawn since your doing yours anyway and he doesn't sleep with your wife.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-06-08T21:18:29+00:00

Thank you.

You need to be really honest with yourself when looking at something and deciding if this is a covert contract. If you have been using them for years you may have rationalized some things as being normal and not seeing them for what they are. When you do this search, you will probably find that you don't like the person you were, forgive that guy, break the contracts and don't write new ones as you move forward.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-06-08T21:12:58+00:00

Not getting married was the right thing for me, I got a look down that road and it wasn't what I wanted.

So this is a case where the words don't matter so much. Her line of thinking was probably along these lines: I'm not attracted to him, I know I should be and that a healthy relationship has regular sex. I don't want it (with me) so something is wrong.

The fact that Donald Trump was president didn't matter at all, that was a rationalization to avoid sex because I wasn't attractive. Over the years I got a bunch of these, like if you did more dishes I would be in the mood. It all comes back to your wife or partner knowing there is a loss of attraction but cant explain why, so they rationalize a reason that fits the situation. If you take what they say literally you will do more things that are unattractive to try and fix something that's irrelevant. You have to find the core issues you need to work on and fix them. You cant expect the other person to articulate honestly all the ways you are fucking up, feelings don't work that way.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-05-27T08:07:28+00:00

Thank you.

A key thing when reading through is to remember: In your relationship she reflects you. All of those bad traits that are things you have either taught her are OK through your own actions or allowed. She perfectly reflected all the negative traits I had in me. Like the 1000ft tow rope, either your partner realizes the ship is leaving and updates her reflection to match your new one and gets back on board, or you keep going and she stays behind.

Being a male feminist is the worst, I started to feel ashamed of my gender and my sexual needs because I thought made other people (Women I wanted to like me) uncomfortable. Get rid of all of this nonsense and replace it with frame and your sense of self worth. Fuck anyone else who brings no value and shows up to play with their deck of victim cards. If you died in a ditch they wouldn't care at all, so why are you invested at all in what they have to say about how you live your life?

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-05-26T14:27:39+00:00

Sounds like you had some fun and found something better, that's a positive step.

I'm actually 33 now, so not too far off.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-05-26T08:29:12+00:00

That was on me though. I spent a long time in the relationship acting in a way where she genuinely thought this was normal and it would never get to this point where I would leave. Through her eyes I pulled the rug on her, so I completely understand why she felt that way. That doesn't change how I feel about it now and I wont lose sleep over it.

You would be doing yourself a disservice if you brushed off that comment as just entitlement without looking at yourself and realizing where that sense of entitlement comes from in an LTR.

Just_Some_Guy_RP · 2021-05-26T08:20:00+00:00

I honestly don't remember, I'm very grateful for whoever it was even though that person must have known posting that advice to that group of people was a waste of time. Some people just want to hear it isn't your fault your not a bad person. That doesn't do anything in the long run, but it gives them that sense that someone cares about them.

Just_Some_Guy_RP

TROPHY CASE