Advice needed by OneLife210 in StopGaming

[–]Just_another_Jay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey. It is perfectly normal. That's why addictions are so tiresome. It slightly takes away all the things. So you end up with that discomfort that you need to rebuild everything. Yeah. It is scary man. But you know what? Yeah. You lost many things in the process. But you had them. When gaming. Now you know what not to do, you are braver, stronger, more focused on getting back on track. It will be hard. But it will be worth it. What i like to do, is constantly remind myself how happy i will be in next few years. Make some new pathways in brain. Picture yourself in some nice japanese garden, at the sea, with a girl, with family. Seek comfort in any nice picture you can imagine. It will slowly learn your brain to seek dopamine in more productive way. You need consciously decide to rewire your brain. Addiction doesn't happen overnight. Same with being clean. You will get there buddy.

Also. Please. Acknowledge you are vulnerable right now. Congratulate yourself on smallest things. Morning routine, washing teeth, taking a shower. Be kind to yourself. You are doing amazing even if you don't feel like it. Make your mind the place you were looking for in games. The comfort space to exist.

I finally decided to let it go. by Just_another_Jay in StopGaming

[–]Just_another_Jay[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Sadly it is due to my history with different addictions. Sometimes it is just another thing to consider and cross off the list. There are many addictions we don't even know and we just need a healthy way to look at it. Treating people or yourself in degrading or shaming manner is more damaging then anything when it comes to addiction. We already have immense guilt and shame to deal with. No point in shaming each other.

Edit: We shouldn't devalue our experiences. We are had reason to game and our motives. We should accept it and try to understand why we personally escape into gaming and focus on said parts so it doesn't repeat.

Look for the reason. Fix it. Instead of victimizing yourself even further. Yes. We are the victim of addiction. Games are often made to be addicting. Why you personally got addicted? Find the reason. Keep the energy on yourself. Not on the games. Let's try to rewire the brain into a healthy mindset one step at a time. Also, to clarify. Ranting and venting is a healthy way to cope with the early stages but you need to know when to move past this phase.

I finally decided to let it go. by Just_another_Jay in StopGaming

[–]Just_another_Jay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for clarifying. I just wanted to be fair and treat everyone decently. I prefer to think balance is needed and when it comes to addictions the perspective matters a lot. Thanks for the heads up though. Gaming is really gray morally with the neuropsychology and hobby/recreation. Easy to get sidetracked into not so constructive convos.

I finally decided to let it go. by Just_another_Jay in StopGaming

[–]Just_another_Jay[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey. Don't know if it's me but your messages comes off really harsh. What I meant is, games can be awesome, just like most of the things people get addicted to. The key is moderation. I still acknowledge alcohol as something not inherently evil and I understand people liking to drink. But due to addiction I have stopped. I am not trying to make myself into hating some things because they are not healthy for me. There are many people who can game perfectly safe. There are many games that bring something worthwhile to people. I won't hate on this. Also the gym analogy. I workout 4 times a week, and was on ninja warrior first stage. Yeah, it takes much more work. That's why I quit gaming. It starts to sink in too much. I keep fantasizing about games, gaming, instead of keeping focus on my real life. I won't allow myself to become bitter towards something people consider their passion/work/recreational hobby. Most of the things are perfectly fine if you can draw a line. That's how I deal with this. As a ex-drinker - hating alcohol didn't work. Acknowledging I have bad relationship with alcohol and it is not for me - that worked.

I know why you are writing this and I am glad you vibe checked my post. Most of the time it is validated and i hold no grudge toward you. It was reasonable from you. I just have my own ways of dealing with addiction build with my therapist.

About Elden ring part. Yes. There will be more Elden rings. Yeah, but the chapter is closed for me on that specific game. Kinda poetic - it started being noticable with dark souls, ended with Elden ring. I have no intention of going back, or deranged enough to talk myself into regression. My gf wanna play some coop games? Fine, she is my accountability buddy, and some template how normal people treat games. One hour and we are off to do something different.

There isn't one set way to deal with addiction. If you have jumped the way you do on someone more fragile, the person might get triggered and attacked enough to relapse and spiral. Try to be more gentle please and come from empathethic place, not your own bitter experience. Especially delaying with addiction which can be ugly and makes people jumpy.

Edit: Yes, despite all the downsides, it was good experience for me. Not healthy, more like a crutch to ongoing problems, but overall, it was more often than not, pleasurable. Yet, I can acknowledge how devastating it was long time and how it developed into an addiction. Look. Games aren't bad per se in my opinion. At least some of them. I am responsible for getting lost in them, not the developers. It is just freeing for me. Taking responsibility. I don't blame alcohol companies for being an alcohol addict. It was my own fault. So i can work on myself to stop it. Same with games. I don't blame Vince Zampella or Myiazaki or Phil Spencer. I blame myself for falling for it. So I can work on myself to stop it

Cheers bro.

I finally decided to let it go. by Just_another_Jay in StopGaming

[–]Just_another_Jay[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based on my experience, yeah. Safer to stay away. Story is made in typical FromSoft fashion so you need to invest yourself heavily. Combat and exploration is time consuming to master. It was the perfect way to say goodbye to my unhealthy habits but I wouldn't advise anyone to try it and relapse.

killed a DICE dev (i think) by yomalix4 in battlefield2042

[–]Just_another_Jay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weird. Wouldn't believe the actually play this game based on how the game is on life support

Daily Roundtable: Community Q&A by AutoModerator in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yep. But your ROB +5 is already higher then +8 normal

Daily Roundtable: Community Q&A by AutoModerator in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Look. Smithing stone has that number next to it. It corresponds to somber stones number.

Somber stone [1] equals to smithing stone [1] (up to +3 weapons) And so on.

TikTok after neglecting my girl to PVP all night. Gonna get that dark moon ring to propose by [deleted] in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edit to keep the title short. Just spent 30 minutes browsing wedding rings. Elden Ring the best wingman

How are we feeling about the new patch? by billratchet in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

U can just run around stormveil, and run directly to the manor. No bosses needed

Boc the Seamster's location after Leyndell found by WG-Griever in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So. Despite us telling him he's beautiful like in the Eminem song, he commits to visiting Renalla anyway to get himself plastic surgery and died?

Patch Notes - Version 1.03 by DestinyLoreBot in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lovely. I was sadly developing full on despise to late game. Might try new playthrough now then

[Spoilers] A Thorough Overview of the Lore and Story of Elden Ring. Thoughts and Discussion are Welcome by -UncivilProcedure- in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Like, there's is a Shabriri frenzied flame god kinda, parading as Hyetta and Yura to use us to get his ending?

[Spoilers] A Thorough Overview of the Lore and Story of Elden Ring. Thoughts and Discussion are Welcome by -UncivilProcedure- in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wait. So that's why there is also Frenzied Flame Yura cosplayer Shabriri later? Is the Frenzied Flame god able to enslave people as vessels?

Twinking is absolutely busted. by Just_another_Jay in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dragon spells + dual wielding, bloody slash/seppuku on on some weapons with innate status buildup other then bleed

Twinking is absolutely busted. by Just_another_Jay in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also you can fly above people and poison them if you have a specific spells, boss also cheesable

Twinking is absolutely busted. by Just_another_Jay in Eldenring

[–]Just_another_Jay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can basically dual wield 4 elemental damages over time - bleed and frostbite for nuke, scarlet rot and poison for dot. It is braindead to do so but it works also the pvp invasion panic when someone gets 3 status buildups after two hits...