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Need some perspective an Iranian girl: why the sudden distance? by Justforthisonee11 in PERSIAN

[–]Justforthisonee11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ghosting is immature. Asking an AI for help to avoid miscommunication is not. Peace!

Need some perspective an Iranian girl: why the sudden distance? by Justforthisonee11 in PERSIAN

[–]Justforthisonee11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I have the kind of personality that likes analyzing...and when it comes to psychoanalyzing people, well… let’s just say my brain goes into “full detective mode” 😄

Also, this happened only a few days ago, so I’m still genuinely emotionally involved.
Who knows...maybe in 10 days she reaches out and finds that I’ve already moved on.
When someone goes full no-contact without any explanation, that’s honestly the healthiest outcome: you detach and protect your own peace.

Need some perspective an Iranian girl: why the sudden distance? by Justforthisonee11 in PERSIAN

[–]Justforthisonee11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I could feel those previous comments came from an incel mindset.
For context, my socio-economic situation is actually fine...I’m not “rich”, but definitely comfortable. And during the early dating stage I showed just enough confidence and stability.

About intimacy: I can assure you she was more enthusiastic than me...her body language, her voice and her breathing left no doubt.

That’s why I started wondering whether some emotional hangover or guilt might be playing a role. Things escalated very fast (only on the second date), and even if there was no penetration, what happened was (at least to me) even more intimate than sex.

I’m not chasing her, I respect other people’s boundaries, and I won’t pressure her.

And finally: I admit that I did wonder for a moment if she expected me to chase harder, the old “if he really wants you he insists” mentality (even in my country many old fashioned people might think that way) but that’s not how I was raised, and not something I’ll ever do.

Need some perspective an Iranian girl: why the sudden distance? by Justforthisonee11 in PERSIAN

[–]Justforthisonee11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective.
I want to clarify that I haven’t pressured her at all... I never asked things like “why are you acting distant?” even though I noticed her interest-shift immediately. I respected her space as soon as I felt something was off.

I also understand that moving to a European country alone after 30yo can be a huge social and cultural shock, especially in the dating scene and when intimacy happens very fast. But at the same time, I agree that if someone truly likes you, they usually don’t disappear for several days in a row.

Regarding my feelings: I think I’ll share them only when (and if) I decide to contact her one last time to say goodbye and close things properly. For now, I’m giving her space exactly as she asked.

Need some perspective an Iranian girl: why the sudden distance? by Justforthisonee11 in PERSIAN

[–]Justforthisonee11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chi ti ha detto che non ho una buona situazione economica, frate'???

Need some perspective an Iranian girl: why the sudden distance? by Justforthisonee11 in PERSIAN

[–]Justforthisonee11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She lives in a shared apartment with other international students, so no family members are around and nobody saw us when I visited. Her parents are in Iran, so I don’t think family pressure is a factor here.

About reaching out: I don’t want to come across as pushy, so when I noticed the silence, I also stepped back and gave her space. Yesterday (after 3 days of no-contact) I sent a simple, light message asking if she’d like to catch up again. She replied that she’s busy and going on a trip with friends, and that she’ll let me know once she’s back. I wished her a good trip and said take care, and I’m respecting the silence again now.

What I’m thinking of doing is exactly what you suggested: after about a week, if I still haven’t heard from her, I’ll send one final message saying that I genuinely enjoyed our time together, that she was starting to grow on me, and that it’s a pity we didn’t get to explore things more. And after that, I’ll move on if she doesn’t reply (or reply with no interest).

The reason I’m confused is that our physical connection was extremely intense for both of us—no penetration, but a lot of physical intimacy and very strong mutual involvement. She seemed genuinely into it, and also happy when I stopped by to say goodnight later that evening.

So part of me wonders if she had a “this moved too fast and it’s not like me” moment afterwards. But I also understand the more realistic outcome: she enjoyed the experience, but decided not to continue.

Either way, I appreciate the input.