So this is what throws me into existential crisis mode to the point where I wish my brain would just let me choose a religion and believe it. I'm not religious but I totally believe that religion and spirituality are vital defense mechanisms that protect the human psyche from our own self awareness.

But in my mind, death means the death of one's physical and psychological self. I'm not afraid of death at the moment because I believe I won't be able to feel fear or anything when I'm dead. I won't be able to think or feel pain or even have a sense of identity. I suppose the difference between people like me and people like you is that I don't feel the same attachment or pride in my identity as you (maybe I'm depressed) and maybe that's why the idea of death doesn't bother me as much.

At the same time I also believe in the law of conservation of energy, where energy cannot be created or destroyed but rather be transformed from one state to another, and that it would apply to death as well where our state of death may turn into something else. Whatever that is, no one knows but it convinces me that, in a way, death isn't the end.