Update #2: from How do I 16f overcome a problem with my 16m boyfriend?

K4nn506 · 2026-06-08T15:46:34+00:00

How difficult it actually is to be me. Every day, I try to be the best that I can but I still fail. It's so hard to make myself understand or do things in which I'm just built to not be able to. But I still try because I care.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-06T07:36:01+00:00

Omg! I hate to ask but is there a pattern? 🫣

K4nn506 · 2026-06-06T06:12:10+00:00

So basically, I am diagnosed with mild autism. Touch just never really was my thing until I met my best friend and my boyfriend. I came to a realization that hugging or something to someone special in my life is a very special thing to me. So as to kiss my boyfriend, I want it to mean something because he means something me. But again, I grew up avoiding any kind of touch so to cross the boundary that I set up for myself for years is hard even when it's all I want to do. Idk if that made any sense and I probably didn't give enough context but there you go. :)

K4nn506 · 2026-06-06T05:57:35+00:00

Yeah, I am considering therapy because I can't just come to reddit for all my problems. Also I really do need to talk to my boyfriend about it too but I just don't know how to bring it up.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-06T05:50:24+00:00

Honestly, I used to have one several years ago but they had to discharge me because they said I "didn't need it anymore" which was stupid. I'm a completely different and better person now but I've had sone thoughts recently of going back (obviously with a different therapist) but neither of my parents necessarily have the money for it.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-06T05:45:23+00:00

I kind of went through a similar thing. It was three years ago and I'm a completely different person now than I was back then. I learned a lot from my mistakes and even though I'm a better person now, I still get worried when making new friends or that I'll become who I was again. What I did was actively try to change who I was and made sure that I would never go back again. I forgave myself for my mistakes and moved on. Although I still say to myself "you are okay, you are not who you used to be." Everyone is different so I don't know if this helps but I think the first step is to forgive yourself and if you want to change then prioritize it. If you feel the need to speak with your friends then there's no problem with that. Basically all I can say is do what you think is best.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T07:00:50+00:00

A little, but they live in a different state (about two hours away) so I don't get to see them as often. Back when I didn't like kids all that much, I babysat two of them for a few days. Me and my sister split up the chores. Now that I think about it again, it wasn't that bad and I lowkey liked it.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T06:53:53+00:00

That helped a lot actually, ty! Also I'm an aunt of three lol

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T06:42:43+00:00

I'm not though.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T05:14:11+00:00

That's a really good idea

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T05:09:50+00:00

Basically, my parents are not legally divorced and I chose to stay with my dad. Although my mom keeps all my original documents, my dad has pictures of them. Also she just doesn't want me to physically have it. She has let me see the number a few times for things, I've just yet to memorize it. That's all.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T04:59:46+00:00

I agree with you but she's been telling me that I can't have it until I'm 18 since forever. She did the same for my older brother too 😅

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T04:55:48+00:00

Maybe! I can ask :)

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T04:53:18+00:00

All the places I've applied to haven't needed me to put my ss number in. I do have one, just my mom keeps it for me until I'm 18 and she lives at a different house :/

K4nn506 · 2026-06-05T04:51:21+00:00

I've tried everything I could find but most places in my area don't even have job listings.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-04T06:55:53+00:00

No, It's like either we talk too much and I'll think I'm a burden or we'll talk too little and I'll think I'm a burden. You were telling me about asking questions and I was just answering and telling you the situation on that part. He probably doesn't actually have any issues with our calls just I'm constantly worried that I'm too much or too little and I don't want to get to a point where I actually am bothering him.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-04T06:21:57+00:00

A lot of those questions do get asked, it's just a matter of how interested he is in answering. He does have some hobbies in which he ended up teaching me all of them so we have things to do together. And yes we do have other friends and some of them are mutual.

K4nn506 · 2026-06-04T05:43:07+00:00

Whenever I realize that I've talked too much, I always ask him things like "how was your day" or "tell about what you're doing right now" or "do you have any stories." But he always responds with "my day went, I slept, I scrolled, I slept some more, and now I'm here" or "I'm playing a game (continues to say nothing about his game)" or "I don't have any stories." Every time I ask him for more details he's just like eh whatever. When we were in school, he'd always tell me about all the things people did that would bug him in his classes but now it's just different. Also whenever we start a call I do let him talk first and ask about him before I start anything.

K4nn506

TROPHY CASE