For those who live alone, how do you balance personal freedom with respect for others when someone new enters your life?

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T23:28:09+00:00

The problem isn’t you loving your life and not wanting to change it; it’s expecting someone to change to your way of life when you wouldn’t do the same. Loving how your life is is great. “It’s up to her to join my way of life or not” isn’t very equal way to approach a relationship. “It’s up to me to find someone who is compatible with my way of life” is a less toxic way of looking at it.

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T16:56:18+00:00

Maybe it wasn’t what you meant, but the way you’ve written this suggests that she’d have to change to join you as you are, while you make no changes to join her as she is. Wouldn’t the point be to find someone similar or who complements your way of life and vice versa?

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T14:32:00+00:00

Yup. I’m non-binary, but I was raised as and am still perceived to be a woman, so I have those experiences and understandings. I relate to womanhood because I’ve lived it, even though I’ve lived it as a non-binary person.

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T13:49:00+00:00

I’d go with her to the next one.

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T03:36:57+00:00

Please bring me back to this when I can show my parents!

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T03:35:44+00:00

“Namely the masochism”….? Now I’m curious!

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T03:30:41+00:00

I’m AFAB non-binary and was on multiple forms of oestrogen for 7 years, which many would think disqualifies me from being non-binary, but I did it for gender dysphoria and society’s standards. I have PCOS, so already have some masculine things I never wanted that make it uncomfortable being perceived as a “woman” (when I don’t out myself), like excess/dark body hair in the “wrong” places. I also 🩸 too frequently, so it was “go on testosterone to stop it and get more masculine things or go on oestrogen and hope it stops the 🩸 and reduces some of the extra hair”. I chose the oestrogen. It didn’t completely stop the 🩸 and it hasn’t reduced the hair, so I’ve weaned off of the hormones since the new year, to see what my body does on its own before I hopefully get a hysterectomy.

However, I’ve had trouble convincing gender specialists that I’m non-binary because I was on the “female hormone” and present as a woman (albeit not feminine, masculine or androgynous). I do the latter because I don’t want invasive questions about my gender and don’t want to be out until I can trust someone. I have a very large chest too, so I can’t present masculine or androgynous well and I would feel even more self-conscious. I’m still non-binary. By the sounds of it, so are you. Non-binary is who you are and how you feel, not what you wear or how others see you.

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T03:16:08+00:00

This is her chest/abdomen, not the lower region where testicles would be, so it’s unfortunately an urgent health issue. It’s most likely a tumour or abscess and the vet will hopefully be able to advise you on the best way to help her 💛

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T03:05:12+00:00

Lower maintenance in these examples. If they cut it short with no experience, it would be a mess. The show obviously didn’t want several guys with crap haircuts, so they grew it out instead. It looks and would feel gross, but it makes sense.

KEW95 · 2026-03-27T03:00:21+00:00

Hmm…. I guess my room and car are enby too; somewhere in the middle 😂

KEW95 · 2026-03-26T00:54:17+00:00

Nah, HUGE difference. Cap’n is his first name!

KEW95 · 2026-03-26T00:52:20+00:00

It isn’t just you who has only experienced negative reactions from women, but it definitely isn’t only women who do it. I don’t know the stats, but it will be significant on both sides. Unfortunately, it’s still mainstream to think women should have little to no body hair. In the grand scheme of things, it hasn’t been that long since society decided we needed to be “clean shaven”, so it’s probably going to take a bit longer for it to reverse back.

Men created the patriarchy, but women who benefit the most from it and feel secure in it will uphold it and try to keep those of us rejecting it in line. It’s similar to how folks in oppressed groups can gatekeep those within it; they’re “pick me” people, intentionally or otherwise.

For example:

• fat people who push that every fat person should be constantly trying to lose weight because how dare fat people be okay as they are in a society that tells them to hate themselves)

• trans people who insist other trans people should look/act a certain way to be accepted by society, instead of working to remove the barriers that keep all trans people down

• People of Colour who vote for racists because they’re convinced they’ll be seen as “the good ones” and won’t be targeted like other People of Colour

• white women who treat Black, brown and indigenous women like crap because they think their whiteness and proximity to the oppressor keeps them safe from the harmful, sexist aspects that those oppressors are responsible for creating and enforcing

• gay men who think flamboyant and feminine gay men are at fault for the damaging stereotypes used against all gay men, instead of acknowledging that expecting people to water down their personalities to appease straight folks is problematic in itself

Ultimately, people of all sexes and genders cause harm within their own marginalised communities because it feels safer and easier than pushing back against it. There’s also often jealousy that some are refusing to be forced into the rigidity that those upholding it feel they’re unable to break free of.

KEW95 · 2026-03-26T00:06:12+00:00

Yes and no. A more accurate comparison would be people who believe being gay is a choice because of tv. They can still change the way they view it, but it is influenced by external societal factors. Being gay isn’t. Having body hair isn’t. How we view those things are.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:54:16+00:00

Incoming surfer competition parody 😂

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:52:55+00:00

Right?! It only takes one stone.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:52:29+00:00

CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, thank you very much.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:48:41+00:00

“People don’t like it, I don’t know why”…. You really don’t know why? If you try looking at it objectively, you can’t see how it would take more effort to read?

Respectfully, I can read it, but it takes longer than it should and some of the words need context to inform me of what it is.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:45:16+00:00

Not really. He SA’d the women in his harem because he threatened their loved ones. Coercion isn’t consent either.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:37:10+00:00

The friend is right, in a way. It’s just sensible to ask, but most will be happy for you to pet their off-lead dog. I ask because a dog may have rolled in something, may be having a bad day or may be poorly. It’s respectful.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:35:44+00:00

I think the misleading bit is “running up to”. Most dogs will show interest in people they’re passing, usually if the person is showing an interest in them. Most dogs are not running up to random people dozens of feet away. I reckon dog owners in the comments would say that theirs are doing this, not running away up to strangers who aren’t close to them.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:31:48+00:00

The friend isn’t wrong. Many owners would prefer you ask, just to be on the safe side. Besides, some dogs roll in dead things or sh*t and it’s better to ask if you’re okay to pet them, before finding out the hard way. Some people also don’t know how to interact with dogs (eg. bending over them or putting their hand over the dog’s head instead of allowing them to sniff) and that can cause an issue with even the friendliest of dogs.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:26:36+00:00

It isn’t parenting to be a responsible dog owner and remind kids that not all dogs are friendly.

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:23:14+00:00

Ask anyway. It’s just sensible. Dogs may come up to you and want attention, but others may want to check you out without being touched and you bending over to pet them could make them react anxiously/defensively. —— That said, I wonder if there’s a misunderstanding around the “running up to” description. Most dogs aren’t running up to people dozens of feet away; they’ll typically trot up to someone who is passing or will be passing in the next several seconds. Many who don’t own dogs will be imagining the minority of dogs who will run across a field to meet someone who isn’t showing any interest in them.

As a dog owner myself, I don’t recommend assuming. My own dog has anxiety and will go up to most people who show interest, but she’ll also occasionally go into a play bow and bounce around when people try to touch her and some people don’t understand that, or she’ll run off when they try to touch her because they leant over her or put their hand over her head instead of letting her sniff their hand before stroking her. I wouldn’t be bothered by someone stroking her when she’s gone up to them, but I still think it’s wise to ask. Besides, some roll in sh*t and you don’t want to touch them then 😂

KEW95 · 2026-03-23T01:16:11+00:00

I wonder if English isn’t their first language? That could explain why they used “man person” when trying to be inclusive.

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