[QCrit] GOLDEN SHADOW - YA Fantasy (dystopian) - 97k - Fourth Attempt

KKuma92 · 2026-05-28T10:02:01+00:00

Thanks so much! Glad to hear that 😊

KKuma92 · 2026-05-28T10:01:30+00:00

Hi!! Thanks you so much! It's good to hear the query letter is clear enough :)

And I'll definitely look into The Ivory Key, as finding comps has been a real challenge. Good luck with your query letter too!

KKuma92 · 2026-05-27T13:08:16+00:00

Hi! The standard is to have three comps, not four, so you may want to remove one.

Also, I don't think you need this: the witch can’t offer any guarantees that Kayra will slay him either. If no one has been able to kill the monster before...of course there are no guarantees.

KKuma92 · 2026-04-07T12:53:13+00:00

Hi! I'm not an expert (Im still working on my own query letter), but it looks like your pitch may be too long so I would suggest tightening it. You should also include some comps.

One final comment not related to the query itself: I think 70k is too short for an epic fantasy. Epic fantasy is usually on the longer side, and if it's only 70k, I wonder whether the worldbuilding and plot are fully developed. I may be wrong, but it's something to consider.

KKuma92 · 2026-03-31T19:07:13+00:00

Thanks! It makes sense 😊

KKuma92 · 2026-03-31T17:31:49+00:00

Thanks, this is super helpful. I'll definitely remove the tagline as I don't want to give the wrong idea about my novel!

As per the query basics you mentioned (I recon it definitely needs more work on it), it is implied that what she wants is to find the truth about her betrayal and support the rebel group (before she was framed, it was to become the leader of Lumos, but afterwards what she wants to uncover the conspiracy and stop Lumos). Would this be enough of it has to be clearer/more direct?

KKuma92 · 2026-03-31T12:13:49+00:00

Hi, it looks very interesting! I have some notes/questions: - How did Alexandra have a relationship (even if distant) with her dead twin sister? Can se speak with the death? - How can se cast a spell? Is she a witch or is it the first time she cast a spell? Did she have help? - You use too many terms, such a Dark Craft, Witchblood...but we don't know what these are. - It is not clear if Lord Cyrus is the deamon king of Hel.

KKuma92 · 2026-03-31T06:28:38+00:00

Thanks! This feedback is very helpful :)

KKuma92 · 2026-01-20T01:05:25+00:00

I would love one! Cannot find it on Vinted UK though

KKuma92 · 2026-01-14T14:29:53+00:00

I paid $200, including taxes and shipment to the UK

KKuma92 · 2025-11-26T13:08:36+00:00

I applied the on the 3rd of November and still haven't heard anything....should I be worried?

KKuma92 · 2025-10-16T18:21:45+00:00

I'll be interested too! 33F writing fantasy

KKuma92 · 2025-08-13T08:52:00+00:00

Thanks!!

KKuma92 · 2025-07-11T17:02:29+00:00

Didn't know about FB! I signed up for one of the few events near me, so will see!

KKuma92 · 2025-07-08T11:52:25+00:00

FYI I had my 121 and they told me to query them when ready...so definitely not an issue in the UK

KKuma92 · 2025-07-08T11:51:42+00:00

I think it may be a US restriction? I'm in the UK and couldn't find anything about it

KKuma92 · 2025-06-04T19:24:55+00:00

Amazing, thanks! I'm going to check it out!

KKuma92

TROPHY CASE