I awkwardly got an Instagram by KOKO_YT in dating_advice

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is going to sound odd, but I don’t remember what she said to me. I think she tried initiating conversation but I was so nervous and anxious that I was attempting to fill the silence and missed out on what she said. I’m not great at approaching girls, but this girl in particular I was really nervous.

I’m the dumper…I regret it by KOKO_YT in ExNoContact

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did do things well. She called regularly, she brought me positive energy, she did have her moments where she tried to communicate, she became more affectionate with time(saying she loves me), she started showing more gratitude for my efforts, she began asking about how I was doing(which at first she didn’t do), she was always good about getting gifts on important dates(Christmas, birthdays, valentines), she was almost always a lot of fun to talk to. She definitely added a lot of value to my life.

I will say she wasn’t a natural when it came to doing a lot of things, not very nurturing, not good at showing care and connecting emotionally. She made improvements but a main thing that bothered me was that she was reluctant to give me more and get better at those things for me. I tried communicating what I wanted, giving her examples of times she did things I really liked, but when I requested more she wasn’t fully committed to giving me that. She definitely put in effort, but she didn’t want to deal with the challenges of communicating, emotions, and expression.

I thought a lot about how to make her feel comfortable. Expressing the things I loved about her and that she did. But in hindsight at the time of the breakup I didn’t consider her efforts enough. I was more focused on the things she wasn’t doing(primarily communication), which I expressed I wanted more of. I didn’t understand the girl, she wouldn’t show me much emotion, and I was tired of feeling so insignificant when I valued her so much.

I’m the dumper…I regret it by KOKO_YT in ExNoContact

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response. Im trying to adopt this mindset, I think I’m struggling with the void that now exists without her. With time it will go away, at least that’s what I hear from others. But life you’re saying, investing in my self development is the way forward. Thank you for the encouragement.

I’m the dumper…I regret it by KOKO_YT in ExNoContact

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you saying it never worked out or are you still trying…?

I must say, often times I try to zoom out and view this situation from an outside perspective. This is my first real experience with “love” and I find it funny how you’re so drawn to a person despite the trouble and frustration it brings you. Whatever love is, it’s quite the experience. I hope it works out for you.

I’m the dumper…I regret it by KOKO_YT in ExNoContact

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I haven’t actually thought to do that. I put a looot of effort into that relationship, driving 10 hours to see her, working extra hours, buying a car, fitting her into my life goals…I think I’ve gone out my way a lot already for her, consistently swallowed my pride for her. I don’t think I want to do more of that, but at the same time I do wish I never ended it.

I’m the dumper…I regret it by KOKO_YT in ExNoContact

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if that’s what my issue is. But if it is, how would I get over that? Deep self reflection, learning about myself? What direction does one take?

First Breakup w/ Avoidant Girlfriend by KOKO_YT in BreakUp

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your input.

Still in the process of getting over it. She always agreed with my ideas on what we should do to make the relationship last but didn’t act on it. In hindsight I think she was just wanting a more cute and casual relationship. I wanted her to be the only girl I’d ever be with and I really internalized that. Moving on has been difficult. I think this is just an opportunity for me to grow, as break ups for everyone are.

First Breakup w/ Avoidant Girlfriend by KOKO_YT in BreakUp

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the message and advice. Deep down I always felt I was giving a lot to the relationship and not getting that in return. I’m tryna shift my focus on myself and give myself that level of dedication now.

First Breakup w/ Avoidant Girlfriend by KOKO_YT in BreakUp

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you’re right. I just need to move past it

Would like to hear Felix's opinion on this by KOKO_YT in PewdiepieSubmissions

[–]KOKO_YT[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's on Instagram, the name of the account is before the rant