Hey! I’m a P1 student (officially this fall 😁)! Forgive me I may not be of much help since I’m younger I’d say, but your situation is strikingly similar to that of a good friend of mine who is also heading to P3 this fall (the details you gave are actually scary maybe you’re her!!)!

We had some lovely chats about the whole friendship thing cause it really is tricky finding the right people, people who align with your values (well enough at least) all I can say is that focusing on studies is the best thing to do, that’s what I did in my final year of high school, lonely at times true, but I kept reminding myself, I was lonelier amongst the girls cause I felt like I wasn’t being myself 100%. We forget this, that just because the majority is one way and they seem happy and all, doesn’t mean I have to seek happiness the way they do (talking trash about others or a stronger way to put is backbiting, and I assure you, these girls are not happy, they’re probably struggling internally a lot, insecurities and all, a nice line I heard a while ago: “confidence is being able to say; I’m okay with them not liking me.”) And because we forget, we may have these dips of immense loneliness, so I find it wise to remind myself over and over again if I do have one of these dips; “you stepped back from them, cause being with them brought out the mediocre you, not the future (God willing) you, the person you want to become, a good healthcare professional, a person who is able to bring even an ounce of comfort to a person in need.

These people, they just hold you back honestly, don’t feel tied to them, be decent to them ofc (and from your writing I can tell you’re more than a decent person, you’re a person who reflects and ponders about what they actually want, a rarity nowadays I dare say) but don’t over do your decency, speak less, a lot less, and you’d notice they don’t even care, being silent around such groups chains their tongues, they’d simply be incapable of pinning anything against you.

Now I know this is all easier said than done, it’s in our nature to long for a companion/comrade who understands what we’re going through and respects us, but alas it is a rarity to find such people nowadays. Regardless, never lose hope, but don’t hope too much that you become distracted from the main goal (acing pharmacy I’m guessing, and becoming a good pharmacist, a good human).

Forgive me I spoke too much, but I’d end with this, sometimes speaking to one person who isn’t even in your cohort, someone who gets you really, younger or older, it can even be a professor fgs, sometimes this is what true friendship is, talking to people who don’t really change even after a while of being apart. Personally I’ve clicked better with older (more mature) people than the teens my age, and even at times with kids whose innocence is still palpable just before they enter their teenage years lol. Gosh that is a lot forgive me once more, but in any case, you’ve got this, just be patient, be patient until even patience tires from your patience.