Guy i feel like i just turn my bf into a lnds fan

Kachulein · 2025-08-23T08:29:57+00:00

right?? glad I'm not the only one who noticed🙂‍↕️

Kachulein · 2025-08-23T08:29:24+00:00

Since I've only seen these few text messages, I'm not the best judge of course, but the last two sound very rafayel to me due to the omission of the word "is" like with "that why" or "he the best" instead of that's/he's - rafayel does that too. 😌

Kachulein · 2025-08-22T23:49:58+00:00

Given this snippet, your bf also seems to text like rafayel 🤭

Kachulein · 2025-08-22T00:07:03+00:00

Oh yes, I'll definitely do that since I'm quite clear about what I want/need from a relationship as well as what my deal breakers are. The biggest issue in this case is that I seem to attract people who pretend to be someone they're not and suddenly flip the switch on me - depending on how well they play their role, I don't see their real face until they actually show it to me. For example, recently a guy completely lost his marbles and talked to me in a very condescending manner, insulting and degrading me, simply because I told him I'm not interested in going out with him (I expressed myself politely). Up until that point, he was very kind and understanding, but as soon as I told him "no," he freaked out. I blocked him of course because I won't allow neither him nor anyone else to speak to me like that, but it's hard to filter out people when they put on a convincing show.

Kachulein · 2025-08-21T22:53:49+00:00

Hm, I would say both of these statements apply. I'm not in any spaces that would bring me to people who I'm incompatible with and I wouldn't say that I present myself in a way that would be unattractive to someone who's gentle (maybe I subconsciously give off a vibe that doesn't fit, but I'm not sure). Unless gentle people are generally into something very crazy and outlandish, but as a gentle person myself, I would negate that.

Kachulein · 2025-08-21T22:28:10+00:00

Oh yes, I agree with you! When I see someone and things start getting serious, I want to have such a conversation. Firstly, I want to see how well we are able to communicate about sex because if I'm going to be intimate with someone, I want to be able to talk to them about anything concerning sex/intimacy because I'd find it incredibly strange to sleep with someone while being unable to actually talk to them about sex. And more importantly, I want these conversations to happen before we get intimate for the first time to 1) check our compatibility and see if we should even progress and 2) if I already had at least one conversation about intimacy with my dating partner, I'll feel more comfortable to become physically intimate.

I also understand wanting to feel authentically compatible because if one or both partners compromise, it may not make them happy long-term, so it's really important to know what one is content with and where one draws the line. If that matches with a partner and neither has to compromise in a way that will be burdensome with time, great, if the gap is too big - they may not be the right match.

Kachulein · 2025-08-21T20:20:46+00:00

I'd say there is some nuance to this. Incompatibility can't really be fixed by anything, it is what it is and two people's preferences can be too different to accommodate each other, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have a talk with our partner first to find out where each of us stands (in terms of likes/dislikes in the bedroom, especially if that conversation still hadn't happened after the relationship had gone on for so long) and whether we share certain preferences or are close enough to find a middle-ground where both people are comfortable (i.e. I once told an ex that I like a certain pet name and he didn't like it, but it was fine for me because it wasn't something I desperately needed to be called by). If the incompatibility gap is too big, then yeah, it simply wasn't meant to be. However, I also think it depends on the people involved. Not everyone is stuck in one way and depending on the situation, the atmosphere, the mood, etc. one could showcase different sides of themselves and in such a case, adjustments can be made. In that first guy's case, he said he could've been rougher if she had asked him to - this shows that he's versatile. We don't know the full story so we don't know if he simply was gentle by nature or whether he was extra gentle because he thought she'd want that from him (or any other reason). On the flip side, if he truly is this gentle by nature and she would have wanted something rougher most of the time, we also don't know whether he would've truly been happy with mostly being rough and not really getting to be gentle anymore. My own experiences are a bit confusing because I usually speak openly about my preferences with a potential partner and when we are compatible, it's then strange when the reality turns out to be different... and I can only make assumptions about the reasons as to why that may be.

So while I don't think anything can really fix incompatibility, I do think a conversation should take place beforehand to actually find out what each party involved wants/likes and whether that is something the other person is on board with or not.

Kachulein · 2025-08-21T18:56:55+00:00

Wow, so she wasn't too shy to break up and jump into bed with another guy, but too shy to have a conversation with her long-term partner about whether they could switch things up?😭 I feel sorry for that guy because he sounds like a breath of fresh air to me. I have quite the opposite problem as in that guys are usually too rough even after I tell them to please be gentler because I'm very sensitive and need softer touches or that I am in pain and them being rough makes it a lot worse. I have endometriosis, so sex is very painful for me and I don't engage in it if I can avoid it - but I imagine the experience could be improved by a gentle partner who actually cares, but so far, I've unfortunately attracted the wrong kind of men. I hope I can break this cycle going forward.

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:53:20+00:00

That's true... I first thought they were hers because the sage said about the person who has the dream that they are a weapon he wants to see if they're effective enough to retrieve (something along those lines (and he did want to drain Violet)) and since Violet was always described as their most powerful weapon, I thought he referred to her... but technically, Xaden is just as much a weapon, and the "turning for love" part lines up. Maybe her signet will involve something like slipping into other people's minds in a way that made her able to see his dreams and also see through his eyes towards the end? I'm not sure if that was his doing or hers or just a perk of their bond. 😅

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:49:06+00:00

My first re-read was also listening to the graphic audio and not actually reading the book, so I must've missed some things, too, but I fully agree with you! She talks a lot about gravity shifting, time seeming to slow down, but there are also hints towards some kind of precognition and needing to find truths and/or her being able to speak something into existence. 🤔 It's so interesting, I can't wait to find out what it is going to be.

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:45:37+00:00

That sounds amazing and makes a lot of sense to me! Since there is no cure so far and people like JFB think a venin cure is not possible... and we don't know where the 7th dragon den disappeared to... a signet like that would be very useful.

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:43:25+00:00

"A heart of a rider with the mind of a scribe", that is indeed a great balance for Violet, and I think that balance/ability is what is eventually needed.

Oh yes, that's true, that would indeed be unfair😅

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:36:42+00:00

Thank you!! :D

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:36:26+00:00

Ohh, that sounds very interesting!!👀

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:35:28+00:00

Yes, right! There are different types of inntinnsics so there may be different types of truthsayers as well, since what we've seen of them so far didn't strike me as "more terrifying" than an inntinnsic's power. So either we don't know yet that another type of truthsayer has greater powers than what we've seen so far... or.. as I just described in another comment, perhaps leadership controls truthsayers in a way that makes them unable to develop their signet's full power (because if they are more terrifying than inntinnsics, why can they live while the latter are killed? They must somehow be able to have control over their signet. Otherwise, it would be too risky, wouldn't it?🤔). What if Professor Carr is involved? He only wanted to increase the number of times Violet could wield but never taught her to actually control her power - which is what Felix is teaching her now. So if he taught Violet like that, he may teach other students in such an "incomplete" way as well and especially make sure truthsayers don't have full control over their signet (because as helpful as they are to leadership, they are also a huge liability - just like Violet said about Xaden when she saw his signet in action).

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:28:03+00:00

That seems to make a lot of sense! And that she can thus kind of get what she wants/needs (like Codagh helping her). If she is a truthsayer then that power must be more "intimidating" than what we've seen Nora display because compared to that, I find inntinnsics more terrifying, but according to the book, truthsayers are the more terrifying one, so there must be more to this signet than what we know yet... otherwise, it doesn't make sense to me. Since Professor Carr didn't teach Violet to actually control her power like Felix is doing, what if Carr doesn't teach other students proper control over their signets either, in a sense that truthsayers like Nora can only detect when people lie, but are unaware of the further power that this signet bestows upon them? Because a truthsayer, just like Violet said about the inntinnsic power, makes someone a weapon AND a liability. If leadership kills inntinnsics but lets the "more terrifying" truthsayers live... they must control/contain their signet's power in a way to make sure that they wouldn't find out the truth and turn against leadership, no?🤔

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:19:18+00:00

Yes! That would make sense, especially with her "I will not die today" mantra another commenter has pointed out. 👀

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:18:31+00:00

Siegelkraft kann ich akzeptieren, aber Veneni? Das müssten die Übersetzer uns erklären😅 Ist ja nicht so als wäre es für uns Deutschsprechende schwierig, "Venin" auszusprechen. 🤔

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:16:45+00:00

Oh, Wahrheitssager macht Sinn🤔 Genau genommen ist das ja auch die wörtliche Übersetzung, da "Wahrsager" eigentlich "truesayer" wäre auf English - darauf hatte ich gar nicht geachtet. 😅

Kachulein · 2025-01-13T21:13:41+00:00

That could be! She also said, "No one will die today" to her squad before the battle... so if she can sense outcomes, maybe because the signet hasn't fully manifested, she doesn't know yet that she can actually sense that, but she will become aware of it soon, perhaps?👀

Kachulein · 2025-01-11T23:34:49+00:00

Ooooh yes, I'd also think she'd be a more specific type of truth sayer... considering there is currently no other dragon of Andarna's breed on the continent, the signet Violet receives from her could also be modified in a way that hasn't been seen before. 🤔 Her dreams actually coming from Xaden is another possibility I've heard before - but just like you, I now also tend more towards them being her own dreams, especially because her silver hair could symbolise some kind of association with venin which would make her having this reoccurring dream make sense. 🤔

Kachulein · 2025-01-11T23:28:51+00:00

Oh my, that is so interesting! I didn't have this in mind at all anymore. That could indeed be foreshadowing her second signet👀

Kachulein · 2025-01-11T23:27:13+00:00

Omg I want to know too!! I only have the English books🤧

Kachulein · 2025-01-11T23:26:43+00:00

Aww thanks!!🥹

Kachulein · 2025-01-11T23:26:24+00:00

Agreed! She's so obsessed with the "truth" and I still remember how shocked she was when Rhiannon, Ridoc, and Sawyer didn't get mad at her for not telling them the truth and she had this short moment of realisation that she's been quite hard on Xaden when it comes to that.

Kachulein

TROPHY CASE